Posted by Kirsty on January 16, 2007

Another haiku
With my mature opinion
Boo, Aspen sucks balls.

Posted by Blake on January 16, 2007

My heart was in mouth,
I thought you pulled down-under.
I’m glad you didn’t.

(For your sake)

Posted by Kirsty on January 16, 2007

“Pulled down under”, eh?
Sounds like a euphemism
Heh, maturity.

Posted by Blake on January 16, 2007

Canadian, eh?
A euphemism it is,
Imature? yes!

Posted by Kirsty on January 16, 2007

That word has two m’s
and only three syllables
You fail at Haikus

Posted by Blake on January 16, 2007

I come from Ausland
(same place as australia)
So it has four here.

Posted by Kirsty on January 16, 2007

Oh, but in Ausland
“Austraya” has only three
So that one’s wrong too.

Posted by Blake on January 16, 2007

You are too busy
picking fault with my haikus.
Go and drink some tea.

Posted by Kirsty on January 16, 2007

You fucking aussie,
Go murder a backpacker!
Mmm, racist haikus.

Posted by Blake on January 16, 2007

I don’t need to kill,
a dingo ate my baby.
Go figure that, eh?

Posted by Kirsty on January 16, 2007

Can’t stay mad at you
You guys invented Tim Tams!
all is forgiven.

(No, not you, timmy.
I’m still a bit cross with you,
You show-canceller)

Posted by Blake on January 16, 2007

thats not fair kirsty,
how can i compete with that?
you’re good at haikus

(by the way kirsty,
we did invent tim minchin,
from the hole of perth)

Posted by Kirsty on January 16, 2007

But I’m cross at Tim!
So that won’t help your cause much
But Tim TAMS are great.

Posted by Blake on January 16, 2007

I would be angry,
but tim makes Sarah happy,
so it is all good!

Posted by Sarah on January 16, 2007

Poor Britishians!
They miss out on my tim a bit.
I still have much tim.

Still lots of Aus shows
Still lots for me to go to
Less gloating for K

PS Haiku war.
Good entertainment for me
Love you both and tim.

Posted by Kirsty on January 16, 2007

Haiku wars are great,
Good way to let out anger,
Tim’s a genius.

Don’t worry, Sarah,
I’m sure I’ll find something else
About which to gloat.

Posted by Blake on January 16, 2007

i suggest that you,
you gloat about adopting,
adopting a child.

Posted by Sarah on January 16, 2007

Like what? Your poster?
I have the water of Tim
Beat that crazy lady

Posted by Sarah on January 16, 2007

Too many sylla
Can’t finish that word baha
I screwed it up bad

Posted by Blake on January 16, 2007

YOU RUINED CHRISTMAS!!
how could you break the haikus!?
now you must repent!

Posted by Sarah on January 16, 2007

Now it is the turn
Of K to screw up haiku
Do it, do it, do…

Posted by Sarah on January 16, 2007

Punctuate sarah,
I forget to do commas
I will not repent

Posted by Blake on January 16, 2007

why only kirsty?
I have yet to kill the chain.
Discrimination!

Posted by Sarah on January 16, 2007

Oh shit! I did it,
again I did it, forgot,
forgot the commas.

Posted by Kirsty on January 16, 2007

I will not screw up!
My haikus are superi-
Oh bugger, I suck.

Posted by Sarah on January 16, 2007

You screwed up before,
Third Comment. Need more anger,
Anger at Timmy.

Posted by Kirsty on January 16, 2007

I am very cross,
Tim will never know The Plan
And that really sucks.

Posted by Sarah on January 16, 2007

I mean you stuffed fourth.
Not third, my silly mistake.
*being angry at timmy*

Posted by Sarah on January 16, 2007

oh fuck! I stuffed up.
Yet again, I stuffed up grr.
I should give up grr.

Posted by Kirsty on January 16, 2007

I see what you mean,
Thought you were talking to me.
*more anger at tim*

Posted by Sarah on January 16, 2007

But I refuse to,
stupid Discrimination,
against the stupid.

Posted by Blake on January 16, 2007

it is not my fault,
if i say a word diffrent,
cause i am quite wierd.

but timmy should play,
round the UK, AND Aspen…
he is very pro!

Posted by Sarah on January 16, 2007

Tim! This is your fault!
You did this to show people,
how stupid I am!!

Evil he-bitch Tim!
I will never forgive you!
Never ever ev…

Posted by Kirsty on January 16, 2007

I love you, Sarah
(Stupid people need love too!)
More than I love Tim.

Posted by Kirsty on January 16, 2007

I agree with Blake,
Tim should play those two places
BOTH AT THE SAME TIME!!!

Posted by Sarah on January 16, 2007

Aww, I feel fuzzy.
Fuzzy inside, and so loved.
I love Kirsty too.

Posted by Blake on January 16, 2007

I think that sarah,
does need some tutororing,
her haikus are… wrong :P

Posted by Kirsty on January 16, 2007

Here is an in joke
That only Sarah will get:
One point one three five.

Posted by Sarah on January 16, 2007

Wow, this is the place,
For me to love, Blake, K, Tim
love love love love love

Still angry at tim
on Kirsty’s behalf. Grr! Grr!
I growl at you Tim.

Posted by Blake on January 16, 2007

oi! where is my love?!
you should bow infront of me…
as standing can hurt.

Posted by Sarah on January 16, 2007

Of course they are Blake,
It adds to hilarity,
muahahahaha

Posted by Kirsty on January 16, 2007

This blog seems to be
One great big angry love fest.
Needs more anger, though.

Posted by Blake on January 16, 2007

it appears sarah,
sarah has got some good lines…
not one liner-ers.

Posted by Blake on January 16, 2007

the goal of fifty,
we set it so very high,
but now we approach.

Posted by Blake on January 16, 2007

angry angry hate!
hate angry hate angry hate!
hows that for anger?

Posted by Sarah on January 16, 2007

We are doing it,
No one else has commented.
Just us, us three-ee

Posted by Kirsty on January 16, 2007

Let’s keep posting these
Until Tim tells us to stop,
And then post some more.

Posted by Blake on January 16, 2007

we knew this had to
happen at some point here mas,
me, k and SJ!

Posted by Blake on January 16, 2007

if tim told us to,
to stop these haikus of hate,
then i would hate him!

Posted by Sarah on January 16, 2007

Run forest runny.
Damn you Tim. haiku damn you.
Michael Finnigan.

Posted by Blake on January 16, 2007

congratulations!
we made it to fifty (-one?)
now i must go sleep :(

Posted by Kirsty on January 16, 2007

Our new goal’s sixty
Or should it be sixty-nine?
IMMATURITY!

Posted by Sarah on January 16, 2007

Does this annoy you?
Anyone out there, does it?
Annoy annoy you?

Posted by Sarah on January 16, 2007

Sixty-nine? Baha!
Sixty-nine. Hilarious.
Sixty-nine. Kaching!

Posted by Kirsty on January 16, 2007

Sarah, the thing is,
Too short to be annoying
Is what Haikus are

Posted by Sarah on January 16, 2007

I got a great one!
I have it to show to you,
It will be here …. NOW!

Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim,
Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim?
Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim!!

Posted by Kirsty on January 16, 2007

Timmy Timmy Tim
Timmy Tim Tim Timmy Tim
What a bastard, eh?

Posted by Sarah on January 16, 2007

He’s not a bastard,
He’s coming to WOLLONGONG,
Like I asked him to.

Posted by Sarah on January 16, 2007

Only sixty days,
Til I see Timmy again!
Wahoo and Yahay!

Many days since tim?
Two hundred and sixteenish
Long time without Tim!

Posted by Kirsty on January 16, 2007

He’s lovely really,
But I still want some revenge.
Any idea how?

Posted by Kirsty on January 16, 2007

(creative licence;
I put the word “idea”
As two syllables)

Posted by Kirsty on January 16, 2007

Look at this blog now!
More comments than “Baby” one.
That’s fucking funny.

Posted by Sarah on January 16, 2007

Never fear Kirsty!
Idea has two syllables.
More comments! Baha!

Posted by Sarah on January 16, 2007

You stuffed up like me!
That makes me oh so happy!
Go Kirsty Go Go!

Posted by Sarah on January 16, 2007

need one thirty eight
to beat inflatable you
can we do it you ask?

Posted by Kirsty on January 16, 2007

How long will it take
For us to run out of steam?
Hope we never do.

Posted by Sarah on January 16, 2007

I screwed it again!
Damn! Damn! DAmn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn!
I suck bad right now,

Posted by Kirsty on January 16, 2007

A filler haiku
To make it to sixty-eight
Wait for the next one…

Posted by Kirsty on January 16, 2007

*snicker* Sixty-nine!
Sixty-nine! HAHAHAHA!
Haikus are awesome.

Posted by Dan Buxton on January 17, 2007

Shame to hear your pulling out of the gigs, good news for you. Saw you in Brighton, very, very funny; one man even walked out, hopefully off the short peer. Stay jazz.

Posted by Kirsty on January 17, 2007

What the fucking fuck?
That’s not a haiku at all!
Shame on you, Buxton!

But I’d like to say
I was also in Brighton
That gig was lovely.

Posted by kell on January 17, 2007

Brilliant, have fun, don’t let your ego inflate too much.

Posted by Jimmy on January 17, 2007

For shame Tim Minchin,
But enjoy Aspen this once;
Then come Nottingham!

Posted by Johanna on January 18, 2007

I just heard the news
That the gig has been cancelled
Thought I’d try Haiku

Lucky HBO
Americans laughing but
They don’t understand

WE are your true fans
But we have been forsaken
You need TV fame

Aspen may be great
For you, but my husband will
Miss a birthday treat

Prepared to travel;
We’d not usually choose
To go to Aylesbury

Only for you, Tim
Would we go to such a dump
(we live in Brighton)

Booked on Ticket Web
Paid an exorbitant price
For ‘handling’ and post

Got a rude email
Show is cancelled, refunded
Poor customer care

Even bought your discs
Sent off to Australia
Paid for two cds

(why can’t I buy them
somewhere in my own country
that’s what I wondered)

Now I’m very sad
Have to think of other gift
For my man’s birthday

Not an easy task
He’s a tough bloke to make laugh
Thought you’d do the job

But you have to fly
Cancelled gig for your career
Will it work for you?

Hope Aspen is fun
Think of us on that March night
No smile on our face

Remember your fans
Who will travel miles to you
(Aspen never moves)

If you play Brighton
It might be a nice gesture
To think of your fans

Namely me and him
Free tickets left at the door
Perfect birthday treat

That would make him smile
As he is celebrating
Forty years of age

And I would then stop
Being narked about your trip
And think you are nice

Placated, I would
Know you cared for your fanbase
(And forgive Aspen)

I wait to hear news
You say you’ll make it up, so
Here’s your ideal chance

Have a bonzer trip
Wow them at the festival
Turn your jokes on them

Don’t get a big head
Ticket prices can’t go up
Else I will be cross

Haiku might be calm
But I’ll get mad if I find
future dearer gigs

You have now been warned
Go to Aspen and have fun
I’LL BE WATCHING YOU!

Posted by Johanna on January 18, 2007

(sorry - not sure I fully know the rules of Haiku so apologies for the multi-verse approach. Just so much hate and anger towards Inconsiderate Mr Minchin (;-P) that it was just a bit of an outpouring, really . . . . .

. . . grrrr . . . . .

Posted by Paul on January 18, 2007

Oh that’s not great, I was saving my theatre-vouchers for the Leeds gig. Any suggestions for good comedians in the next month or two in the Yorkshire region, anybody?

Posted by M. on January 19, 2007

For crying out loud
If you do a damn haiku
let it be pœtic

He lives on a cloud
Timmy’s our favourite psycho
But he’s not athletic

It’s three in the morn
Haikus do not rhyme at all
But I thought I’d try

I love eating corn
From the stall inside the mall
But I dunno why

Listen to me, Tim
This is very important
Shush, and get closer

Solitude haunts him
brazen, clamorous, blatant
Throw him a hawser

We are animals
Love is but a pantomime
We keep pretending

In diff-rent ov-ralls
We go on, we fight space, time
Though we are feigning

If you found true love
At the age of sweet sixteen
I envy your luck

Mine flew like a dove
I was in the school canteen
Bad luck, but I fuck

Man lives a huge lie
We work, believe, reproduce
Few understand this

You can eat a pie
Travel the world on a cruise
Joke or take the piss

But we don’t, truth is
Know where we go, why we’re here
Or what we’re doing

Maidstone, Sheffield, Leeds,
Nottingham or Aylesbury
Just wait, he’s pooing

Posted by t on January 19, 2007

Now THAT is what i call spam

Posted by Tim on January 19, 2007

Ha! Our contemplative polyglot putting us all to shame.

Posted by M. on January 20, 2007

Besitos,
M.

Posted by Sean on January 20, 2007

Have never seen Tim
Tickets in post arrive. Joy!
But leaves for Aspen

Posted by Sean on January 20, 2007

HBO, Aspen,
glamour, wealth, fame, America!
is not me in Leeds

Posted by Kirsty on January 21, 2007

Arrived home today
To a letter from Sheffield,
Says gig is cancelled.

Knew that already,
but still it makes me so sad
to see it in print.

Now I must send back
My beautiful green tickets
To get a refund.

Leicester tix are green
But not quite as beautiful
They misspelled my name.

Posted by Jen on January 24, 2007

American here
Would fly across The Pond twice
Just to see you, Tim

I think Aspen
Might have worst Americans
Worth it for you, though

Colorado Tix?
Maybe Aspen’s not so bad
Canvas- just at gigs :(

I need some canvas
bags for when I go to the
supermarket here

Posted by Amanda on January 25, 2007

Cancel us then
See if notts gives,
We do - lots

Posted by Andrew on February 7, 2007

So when is the new Sheffield gig going to be?
I saw you in Derby and I want to let my friends (who live near Sheffield) know when they can see you.

Posted by Matt on February 10, 2007

OI play at bigger venues I cant get tickets!

Posted by Suzi Poole on February 10, 2007

I just went to see;
Tim in old New-bury;
Now I’m all pumped up with glee!

He came to Greenham Park;
Where the Yanks just had a lark;
an ex-Cruise Missile base, dark.

Twas my very first visit;
I couldn’t have missed it;
Two TV appearences insisted!

So I laughed off my sock;
and must thank you a lot;
for your visit to the back of beyond.
(I gave up the Haikus;
because it just makes you;
scream for the freedom of song).

Posted by Suzi Poole on February 10, 2007

Um…it’s still February 9th on my planet..

Posted by kell on February 12, 2007

you people really need to get out more

Posted by Blake on February 12, 2007

someone doesn’t know,
that to post here you have to
write in haiku form

Posted by Joni on February 14, 2007

PLEEEASSE come to Leeds soon!!!!!

You’re my favourite comedian and (being a music student) i admire your talents. Let me see them live!!!!!

Posted by Suzi Poole on February 16, 2007

Ah…

hai·ku (hī’kū) pronunciation
n., pl. haiku also -kus.

1. A Japanese lyric verse form having three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables, traditionally invoking an aspect of nature or the seasons.
2. A poem written in this form.

[Japanese : hai, amusement (from Middle Chinese bəij, pha·j) + ku, sentence (from Middle Chinese kuəh).]

Gosh, will Blake forgive me?

Posted by Blake on February 17, 2007

you are forgiven,
i was refering mainly,
to offensive kell :P

Posted by Emma on February 27, 2007

My sister saw Tim
in Derby Assembly Rooms
and wont stop talking

About his greatness
and brilliant musical skill.
His CD is worn.

But I am forlorne
to be missing him at notts.
His dark side’s been shown.

(Sorry, I’ve never writted a Haiku before and thought I’d give it a try)

Posted by Caroline Lewis on February 28, 2007

Ahhhhh yes, I agree wth Joni,

Please please please please PLEASE….reschedule the Leeds date….

Preferably AFTER July, and not on September 2nd.

Posted by Blake on March 1, 2007

what is september 2nd? apart from 3 days before arguably the best date to have a birthday?

Posted by Richard on March 3, 2007

I have only just
Found out about cancelled gig
That’s tonight
Bollocks

Posted by Richard on March 3, 2007

‘Course
Our man Tim won’t see that
Comment ‘cos
He’ll be in bloody
Aspen

Posted by Caroline Lewis on March 4, 2007

Blake, September 2nd is the day I go see Ross Noble….at Leeds Grand Theatre.

If Tim was on at City Variety’s on the same night….I would cry.

Would be worse than when I found out Ben Folds was playing in Manchester the same night I went to see Tim….cos at least I had tickets for Tim.

Posted by Sarah (english) on March 14, 2007

This is a test, I do apologise for its randomness

Posted by Josh on March 16, 2007

This is for Kirsty, you have to much time on your hands. For Blake, he also has to much time, but he stuck up for the Aussies. Sarah, you should have stayed out of the argument and seen how long it would have lasted. Tim could write a song about it?

Posted by Alistair on September 11, 2007

saw you at reading
wanted to be at sheffield
going manchester

:D my haikus suck!

Posted by Shonay on January 6, 2008

I sit and wonder
Will web comments be added
To new Minchin shows?

Posted by becky! on January 28, 2008

1234 i luv marine cor!