The Q in FAQ stands for Questions. The FA may stand for Frequently Asked, Formerly Answered or Fucking Annoying. It never stands for Friskily Animalistic, Fleetingly Antisemitic or Glibly Responsive. The questions below are listed vaguely in order of how frequently they are asked.
If your question isn’t answered below, I can’t recommend strongly enough the Angry(Feet) page. It has loads of info, all my lyrics, heaps of pics and downloads, and a huge bloody forum where people talk about all sorts of stuff including quite a lot of stuff about my stuff.
How can I get your autograph or a photograph of you?
If you would like a shiny, signed, weird photograph of my noggin and live in the UK, Australia or the USA then please send something stating as much and a stamped (with the correct return postage for a 21g package) self-addressed A5 envelope to the appropriate address in your country:
If you live in the UK:
FAO Becca Ptaszynski
22 Rathbone Street
If you live in Australia:
FAO Marilen Tabacco
PO Box 2664
If you live in the USA:
405 S. Beverly Drive,
If you live in Europe or the Rest of the World (ROW) it gets a little trickier so please bear with us and peer closely at all of the following to see which particular photo procuring postal plan applies to you:
If you can pick up an International Reply Paid Coupon (IRC), from the Post Office in your country, then please send it to Marilen, at the SmartArtists Management address in Australia above, along with your self-addressed envelope. This is because the pesky Royal Mail, in the UK, have stopped accepting IRCs!
However, if your country does not issue IRCs and you cannot get hold of the correct Australian or UK return stamps, all is not lost: please then pick the nearest of the Australian or UK management addresses above and send them your request with an A5 self-addressed envelope and the lovely people at PBJ Management or Smartartists Management will do their best to send you Tim’s miraculous visage using marvellous franking machines.
How do I find out about performance rights and request permission to perform Matilda The Musical or songs from the production?
The Royal Shakespeare Company (RSC) are the people to talk to about this. They have created a handy summary of the current position regarding performance rights and posted it on their website here, including who to contact with your permission requests.
Where can I find sheet music of your songs?
I don’t really write my stuff down. One day I will and when I do I shall publish them in a large leather-bound volume entitled, “Minchin Masterpieces”. However, I love that people want to learn to play my songs, and would suggest one of the following options:
 Work it out by ear. I believe transcribing is the fastest way to becoming a good musician, even if you’re just transcribing my silliness.
 Go here.
Do you run your own website? Do you reply to your messages yourself or do you have a PA?
This site is updated by me and my awesome web fairies, Linzy and Shell, who also look after my Google+ and Facebook pages, as I have become less able to reply to messages since I lost my right arm in a logging accident (nb. After the word “since” in that last sentence, the truth is overwhelmed). However, I do try to read the posts on them. They occasionally post announcements on my Twitter, but that is mostly me keeping you informed and offering fashion tips (Ugg boots do rock, there is nothing wrong with encasing your feet in sheep). I also tweet photos sometimes: You haven’t lived until I have shared the back of my new hairdoo with you or allowed you a glimpse of the vision that is me in shiny leggings.
I try to read as many posts and messages from here as I can and will reply whenever my metabolism and libido permit me. My web fairies help me out by reading and replying to the easy stuff.
My website is designed and built and hosted by Heehaw Digital.
Can I play your DVDs where I live?
So Live works in ALL regions, but only on PAL machines and So Fucking Rock Live only works on region 2 machines. This means both DVDs will work in the UK but only So Live will work in Australia. Unfortunately most machines in America are NTSC so they won’t be able to play either DVD but they can be played on your computer using the VLC media player.
I don’t live in Australia or the UK – how can I buy your merchandise?
The “from” on the merchandise page simply indicates from where the merchandise is being sent; both the UK shop and the Australian shop will happily ship things internationally.
Why do you not wear shoes? Where does your “look” come from? How do you get your hair like that?
I don’t wear shoes cos I went barefoot one day and liked it. I like wearing eye makeup cos it makes my eyes look weird / nicer / more easily seen from the audience. I like my long coat cos it makes me feel like a proper pianist. I get my hair permed straight, then put a bit of muck in it, back-comb it chunky style and spray it with hairspray. After a few shows I don’t have to do anything to it; it just stays like that. I also enjoy the theatricality of performance – not just the narrative content. To an extent my onstage persona is a character, and his appearance contributes to a removal from reality which allows me to say what I want to say on stage without annoying (most) people.
When did you start playing the piano? What grade did you reach? Where did you learn?
I did up to Grade 2 (AMEB) as a kid. I then mucked around a bit and got a bit better for about 8 or 9 years. When I was 19, I did an “Advanced Diploma of Contemporary Music” at the WA Conservatorium.
Where can I buy a copy of the Timmy the Dog album, Sit?
I’m afraid Sit is out of print. I am happy for it to be passed around by those who can be bothered. You might find someone to steal it off here.
When are you next coming to Melbourne / London / Kent / Philadelphia etc.
I will endeavour to keep my Gigs page as up-to-date as possible. I only post there when shows are locked in and confirmed. Do check back here regularly to see if your town has been added or keep an eye on my Twitter or Facebook page to keep up with the latest announcements.
Where do you get your ideas from?
This gets asked loads, and I don’t really know what it means. My ideas are just distillations of my thoughts, and my thoughts are a by-product of consciousness. In other words, I get my ideas the same way you get yours. If you’re looking for inspiration, my advice is to read books then go walking.
More answers to FAQs will be added here as we go.