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The Q in FAQ stands for Questions. The FA may stand for Frequently Asked, Formerly Answered or Fucking Annoying. It never stands for Friskily Animalistic, Fleetingly Antisemitic or Glibly Responsive. The questions below are listed vaguely in order of how frequently they are asked.

How can I get your autograph or a photograph of you?

If you would like a shiny, signed, weird photograph of my noggin and live in the UK or Australia then please send your request with a stamped (with the correct return postage for a 21g package) self-addressed A5 envelope to the appropriate address in your country. If you include an email address then you could be contacted if necessary.

If you live in the UK:
FAO Alice Chuter
PBJ Management
22 Rathbone Street

If you live in Australia:
FAO Marilen Tabacco
Smartartists Management
PO Box 2664
Australia 3065

Please BEWARE of fraudulent autograph sellers/websites. The only way to be sure you have an authentic photo, genuinely signed by Tim is via his management, who only ask for postage – the signed photos are free.

If you live in the Rest of the World (ROW), i.e. outside of the UK or Australia, we’re afraid we’ve had to put a hold on signed photos because overseas mail is very disrupted at the moment and paid coupons are no longer accepted.

How do I find out about performance rights and request permission to perform Matilda The Musical or songs from the production?

The Royal Shakespeare Company (RSC) are the people to talk to about this. They have created a handy summary of the current position regarding performance rights and posted it on their website here, including who to contact with your permission requests.

Where can I find sheet music of your songs?

I don’t really write my stuff down. One day I will and when I do I shall publish them in a large leather-bound volume entitled, “Minchin Masterpieces”. However, I love that people want to learn to play my songs, and would suggest you try to work it out by ear. I believe transcribing is the fastest way to becoming a good musician, even if you’re just transcribing my silliness.

Do you run your own website? Do you reply to your messages yourself or do you have a PA?

This site is updated by me and the wonderful Shell, who also looks after my Facebook page, as I have become less able to reply to messages since I lost my right arm in a logging accident (nb. After the word “since” in that last sentence, the truth is overwhelmed). However, I do try to read the posts on them. She occasionally posts announcements on my Twitter, but that is mostly me keeping you informed and offering fashion tips (my Tardis onesie is timeless). I also tweet photos sometimes: You haven’t lived until I have shared the back of my new hairdoo with you or allowed you a glimpse of the vision that is me in shiny leggings. If that sort of thing is really your bag then maybe head to my personal Instagram account for arty shots and Wookie updates.

I try to read as many posts and messages from here as I can and will reply whenever my metabolism and libido permit me. Shell helps me out by reading and replying where she can.

My website is designed and built and hosted by Heehaw Digital.

Can I play your DVDs where I live?

So Live works in ALL regions, but only on PAL machines and So Fucking Rock Live only works on region 2 machines. This means both DVDs will work in the UK but only So Live will work in Australia. Unfortunately most machines in America are NTSC so they won’t be able to play either DVD but they can be played on your computer using the VLC media player.

I don’t live in Australia or the UK – how can I buy your merchandise?

The “from” on the merchandise page simply indicates from where the merchandise is being sent; both the UK shop and the Australian shop will happily ship things internationally.

Why do you not wear shoes? Where does your “look” come from? How do you get your hair like that?

I don’t wear shoes cos I went barefoot one day and liked it. I like wearing eye makeup cos it makes my eyes look weird / nicer / more easily seen from the audience. I like my long coat cos it makes me feel like a proper pianist. I get my hair permed straight, then put a bit of muck in it, back-comb it chunky style and spray it with hairspray. After a few shows I don’t have to do anything to it; it just stays like that. I also enjoy the theatricality of performance – not just the narrative content. To an extent my onstage persona is a character, and his appearance contributes to a removal from reality which allows me to say what I want to say on stage without annoying (most) people.

When did you start playing the piano? What grade did you reach? Where did you learn?

I did up to Grade 2 (AMEB) as a kid. I then mucked around a bit and got a bit better for about 8 or 9 years. When I was 19, I did an “Advanced Diploma of Contemporary Music” at the WA Conservatorium.

When are you next coming to Melbourne / London / Kent / Philadelphia etc.

I will endeavour to keep my Gigs page as up-to-date as possible. I only post there when shows are locked in and confirmed. Do check back here regularly to see if your town has been added or keep an eye on my Twitter or Facebook page to keep up with the latest announcements.

Where do you get your ideas from?

This gets asked loads, and I don’t really know what it means. My ideas are just distillations of my thoughts, and my thoughts are a by-product of consciousness. In other words, I get my ideas the same way you get yours. If you’re looking for inspiration, my advice is to read books then go walking.

More answers to FAQs will be added here as we go.