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Adam Hillsong

by Tim 20th Oct 2006 | 91 comments


Hi guys.

I’ve had a lot of interest in the song I wrote for Spicks and Specks (TV show in Australia). You can see it in all its homoerotic glory by clicking HERE.

You Northern hemisphere types who haven’t heard of the show or its host, Adam Hills, will be confused. (All you need to know is that Hillsong is the name of one of those huge, wealthy, obscene, exploitative church groups near Sydney, and that Adam is a charming, funny, good-looking Australian comedian… with one of his feet missing.)

Adam Hillsong (Not endorsed by the Hillsong Church pty ltd)

At night I dream of your quirky, intelligent face
I wistfully wish for your monopedal embrace.

But I am just a fan
You are the father of humanity
But if you’ll be my man
I would give a rib to be your Eve

Adam…
Hills are made for climbing and I’ll climb them all for you
And dem
Valleys you traverse I’m not averse to going down into

Wherever in your Eden you might travel I will follow.
And if a serpent holds an apple and entices me to swallow
I will not be tempted by the fruit the serpent proffers
Though I’ve never been that great at resisting offers made by

Adam…
Hills are made for climbing and oh boy I’ll do my best
But if the apple is too sweet and shiny to resist
I swear that I’ll try not to choke as with my guilt I grapple
But if inside my throat I feel a lump, it’ll be my Adam’s Apple.


Leave a Comment

91 Comments

Amy on 6th of July 2011

Tim!!!
I am such a huge fan! Let me start out by telling you that I’m a ginger too! The first time i heard Prejudice the lyrics really spoke to me. I said to myself wow! this guy really knows what he’s talking about! From the first time i saw canvas bags ive been such a huge fan! My two friends Sam and Katie and I are going to see you in Philly on July 22 and were soooo excited!!! i really hope i get to meet you!!! Gingers forever!!! (we should make up a secret ginger handshake or something!) see you soon!!! -Amy

Mei on 28th of April 2009

hmm i had a quick scan through the comments, i dont think its been asked yet but i was wondering if this song is available anywhere?

Romy on 7th of March 2009

Awesome song. You and Adam both rock, as does this song. But I’m so annoyed that we don’t get Spicks and Specks in the UK. Someone should make a petition to get it screened here.

neeve on 24th of December 2007

these comments are so funny to read, these people must have no lives to think that if they put some tim minchin merchandise in the washing mashince with some other famouse persons merchandise and they dont come out completly ruined then tim must have some secret love affair with them

honestly the only thing that this proves is canvas bags wont get ruined in the wash.

neeve on 23rd of December 2007

haha i would to death if you said that adam was the one who inspired you to write that poem angry (feet) coz its just so perfect if adam was the doctor and you cut of his foot and used it to kick him in the head.
it would make perfect sense to why he has one foot lol

Millie on 2nd of December 2007

uh.. hi *dramatic puase*, i dont know if you actually read these (probably better if you dont since i spelt pause wrong…) but just to let you know that you officailly have one more loving fan out there… especially since THAT espoisode.. That is all.
M xxxx.

Maddiee on 28th of November 2007

hahaha, Loved this.
I have tickets to spicks and specks sometime in January
which should be fun :)
wish you were there, Then I’d most probably run on and attack you
with myspace photots, But anywho!
Great song, and almost kiss :D x

Wawa on 16th of September 2007

Hi Tim,

You wouldn’t be able to post the 6 foot 4 kiwi lyrics up would you?

Thanks!

Susan on 6th of July 2007

Hi again. Would it be possible if you could post the sheet music for the piano for the Adam Hills song?

Thanks,
Susan

Susan on 6th of July 2007

Spicks and Specks is the BEST! Some episodes are hilarious but some are just average.

Nicola on 27th of April 2007

On the subject of religious references – you are my GOD! This song is hilarious, and so very clever!!! I had to look up monopedal :-)

imi on 16th of April 2007

saw u on melbourne international comedy festival 2nite, 2!!!

Hilalalalalalary on 15th of April 2007

haha i have been quoting your songs all day. hahaahhaha, it made for a very laughable day, thankyou :):):):)

imi on 11th of April 2007

funny song! :-P
hey, nobody put one on this year!?!?!?!?
Spicks & specks RULES!!!!!!
I saw u on just tonight again!
Of course, with your 6 foot 4 kiwi or whatever it was!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(listening to hillsong while typing this!!!!!)

keep writing funny songs!!!!!!!

Bel on 22nd of December 2006

omg i saw that episode!
it was so funny!
me and my dad LOVE Spicks and Specks and when my mum saw it she was almost on the floor laughing!
do you know of the TV show ‘Thank God Your Here’ ? well if you do i think you should be on it!

My brother always gets confused when he watches Spicks and Specks (when your on it) and Thank God Your Here (when Matthew Newton is on it) coz he thinks you look alike…………

anywayz you ROCK!

EmO_eChIdNa on 14th of December 2006

spicks and specks is my all time fave show…(actually it shares the spot with realstories by hamish and andy! and thank gog you’re here! – both awsumly funny comedies too!) the only dodge thing about spicks and specks is that its on channel 2 so all of my m8s absolutely refuse 2 watch it! so none of them understand wat i find so hilarious with u and adam!! lol

duyen on 12th of December 2006

keep on writing those songs , i’ve watched the Adam Hillsong so many times!! =)

elle on 12th of December 2006

that is one of the bestest songs i’ve eva heard XD luv u timmy!!! lol it’s awsum! i have watched it so many times it’s not funny but don’t like the crack on hillsong.
HUMPH!
anyways, keep writing awsum stuff!!!! lurv the canvas bags 2 ;)
I AM A SPICKS & SPECKS FAN!!!!!
adam & tim 4eva
lol cyz
Elle

EmO_eChIdNa on 12th of December 2006

hahaha i have re-watched that tape so many times and even still i cant help laughing!!! more than once…actually almost everytime i almost or DO fll off the couch!!! hehehe ROCK ON!!!

ps. GO AUSTRALIA!!!! take out the ashes!!! down with poms!!! lol

come back to aust tim!

BJ__AUSTRALIA WILL TAKE THE ASHES!!! on 8th of December 2006

I loved it at the end when you said “This song was for my wife” i fell off the couch laughing x]

EmO_eChIdNa on 5th of December 2006

yea! i dig the hair too! ROCK ON TIM! my hair looks similar when i wake up in the morning!(even more cuz im a redhead!) i downloaded this song and i have it on my fone…i have the canvas bags song as my ringtone! my friends think im mad! but i think you rock so yea!

LUV YA WORK!

(ur HOT!)

Jasmine on 2nd of December 2006

I remember watching that episode, one of my most favorite episodes ever especially because of that “Adam Hillsong” song. i had that song stuck in my head for days, it was amazing. It was like i was high on sugar or something.
Keep on rocking! and hope to see you on spicks and specks next year.
You should try and get that episode and post it on this site for download or something (the whole episode *smiles*), only if you want to.
Also i totally dig the hair *smiles*

EmO_eChIdNa on 1st of December 2006

hey time! iv got red hair and i randomly got it cut and now each day(that im not at skool of course cuz i think i would get a detension) each holidays or weekend my m8 puts wax in it to make it look like urs! its awsum! youve got 2 b one of the funniest guys around!!! ROCK ON DUDE!

EmO_eChIdNa on 1st of December 2006

ive downloaded your song and i have it as my mobiles ring tone!

Rowan on 30th of November 2006

Just to clear the air, X…

Creepy in the GOOD way. ^^

tremo on 28th of November 2006

if u do go on spicks and specks next year please do another hill-arious song

Isabella on 27th of November 2006

I saw the song when you performed it on Spicks and Specks and loved it. It was made even better by Adam Hills lying on top of the piano!
Oh and I agree with Steph, don’t forget tackling Frank Woodley to the ground!
Awesome song, Tim.

Jess on 27th of November 2006

Awesome song :D *Hides face as I have been sad enough to learn off by heart*

Steph on 26th of November 2006

Awesome song. Let us not forget when you tackled Frank Woodley to the ground too. Good night to be watching Spicks and Specks.

Tracy-Jane on 26th of November 2006

hey tim in the lyrics there is one sentence where it says…
“I will not be tempted by the fruit the serpent proffers” isn’t it supposed to be offers? well i just thought you should know and some times i can pay too much attention to things well anyway hope to see you in Australia soon bye bye
-Tracy xoxoxox

EmO_eChIdNa on 25th of November 2006

omg! when i saw u on spicks and specks wen eva it was i was laughing so hard i litrally fell off the couch! and then wen the section was on the final i was laughing so hard again! iv re-watched it so many times i new all the words with out even seeing this site!
i luv the hair! it is like so totally awsum! ROCK ON!

Tracy-Jane on 25th of November 2006

OMG tim you rock, you are the most talented person i can think of if someone asks me who is the most talented person i say Tim Minchin without even thinking, when i watched the spicks and specks final and saw your part it was halarious i laughed for 15mins and it yea well i better not go on CYA!!
-Tracy xoxox

Alisha Grant on 23rd of November 2006

*Big fan

Alisha Grant on 23rd of November 2006

Hello Tim! I love spicks and specks. Bif fan, and was glad 2 be lucky enough to see the episode where Tim Minchin played the Adam Hills song. And it was great when you tackled Frank to the ground!!!

Emily Atkins on 23rd of November 2006

By the way, does anybody know where i could get a copy of the song?

Em Xx

Emily Atkins on 23rd of November 2006

I absolutely want a copy of the Adam hillsong! It would have to be one of the best songs i have EVER heard! Absolute classic, and totally loved it when i heard it on Spicks and Specks!

Em Xx

Mel on 23rd of November 2006

i love this song. its sooooooooooooooooooooo funny. I want it on MP3 player. I had that song stuck in my head all day today. I’m also a HUGE spicks & specks fan.

Isobel on 23rd of November 2006

Well I found my way here after watching The Spicks & Specks Best of for 2006 last night. I asked myself…’Who was that gorgeous ‘Whitlam’s sounding’ devil stealing my Adam?’ and here I am! Many thanks for the laughs and hope you find yourself back in Australia soon, preferably touring up north (hint, hint) :o)

Dani on 10th of November 2006

For those interested you can see Adam Hills doing his Terminator trick on the Glass House dvd. Yay! :-D

X. on 7th of November 2006

Well, guys, I’d rather have a protest song about what’s happening in Oaxaca…
Besitos,
X.

Alison on 2nd of November 2006

Yeah! A protest song would be soooooooooo great! It can be rally topical too…because it’s being axed cuz of the government’s new laws

tim on 2nd of November 2006

i second that motion fomr dani. bring back the glass house, and tim, you could be our tool of protest. think phillip head tim, cause we need your help

Kirsty on 2nd of November 2006

Thankyou, X, dear… that makes me all warm and glowy, like a hot water bottle or a bowl of Ready Brek.
I shall carry the title of So F…g Cof-cof Fan of Tim Minchin proudly, and I shall continue to notice and comment on the little things. Because if I don’t, who else will?

Dani on 2nd of November 2006

The Glass House has been cancelled Tim.

Can you write us a good-bye/protest song and put it online? :-(

X. on 2nd of November 2006

Cof, Cof.
Cof, cof…
Cof, cof!
Cof, cof!!
Is everyone listening now? Good.
Rowan, dear, don’t you call us creepy. I’ve just had a look at your webpage…
Kirsty is my hero, she notices stuff the rest of us would never see.
I hereby pronounce Kirsty So F…g Cof-cof Fan of Tim Minchin because, well, she’s the cof-cofest of us all.
Besitos,
X.

Rowan on 1st of November 2006

The lyrics there do differ a little from what you sang on the show – for example, instead of “quirky, intelligent” you sang “kind and intelligent” – but I am guessing what you have put up here is the original, and maybe you made a few mistakes! Which is cool because it means you’re not a robot!
Some COFs (Crazy Obsessive Fans) have noticed that when you lean in to almost kiss Adam, the shape around your heads and the mic stand, and also the shape made between your chins, necks and the mic stand are both love hearts. I thought that was cute but also a little creepy that they would notice that.
I also often ponder over that last comment: “That one was for my wife” or something to that effect. I wonder whether you meant the song or the lick.
Brilliant work on the song, Tim – if nobody else enjoyed it (which they did, but then most metaphors don’t bear close examination) then at least Adam did. I think he wanted to kiss you though. Ah well.
Amaaaayzing lyrics, you always write a gorgeous song with lots of words I don’t know.

Curtain on 1st of November 2006

I really really hope that Adam’s in the process of writing a song dedicated to Tim which will involve him also rolling around suggestivly on a piano…

PLEASE???

Kirsty on 1st of November 2006

Adam does laugh quite a lot at jokes about his foot… you should see the tshirt I had printed which he thought was fantastic.
Whether or not he’d appreciate being called a “farting monkey”, though, is another matter.

X. on 1st of November 2006

I really don’t know whether dear Adam would laugh about this at all…
Am starting to feel bad about the joke ;-(
M.

Kirsty on 1st of November 2006

Yes… that’s actually what I meant when I said “Adam is a monoped”.
I meant “Adam is a farting monkey drinking sangria while fooling around on a scooter.”
How did you think he lost his foot?! Drunken scooter accident, I tell ya.

X. on 31st of October 2006

Of course.

I have to say my explanation is nonsense, especially for a Spaniard. DO NOT take this as serious academic reasoning…

>Alright, then. Meet Maria’s “teacher mode”, in Spanish “modo prof”:

The word “monopedal” doesn’t exist in Spanish either, yet it’s funny because it reminds you of “monopatín”, which is a child’s scooter with an upright steering handle. As if that on itself wasn’t enough, the word “mono” in Spanish means monkey, and the word “pedo” means fart, while “pedal” can be a foot lever. Yet “llevar un pedal” (carrying a pedal) in colloquial Spanish means that you have absorbed vast amounts of alcohol and are in lamentable state.

A state that can only be understood if you imagine a farting monkey drinking sangría while fooling around on a scooter.

Besitos,
M.

Kirsty on 31st of October 2006

X,
I’m intrigued and don’t speak Spanish. Are you going to share the hilarity with the rest of the class?
(I really hope I haven’t made Tim write something embarrassing en español)

X. on 31st of October 2006

In Spanish, monopedal is even more hilarious…
Didn’t know you were funny in different languages, eh? AND for different reasons.
¡Hombre!
X.

Kirsty on 30th of October 2006

Blimey, that was fast!
x

Kirsty on 30th of October 2006

I’m sorry to bombard your blog with comments, but I’ve just noticed something which makes me very cross.
Tim, why have you written “monopodial”? You sang “monopedal”, I heard it with my own two ears! I think “monopedal” is much cleverer.
Of course, “monopedal” is not actually a real word, but any moron could see the etymology from “bipedal” and “quadrupedal” and make the connection.
“Monopodial”, while more of a real word, doesn’t sit quite right, as the suffix “-podial” isn’t usually used to refer to animals.
You created an excellent word, and now you’re denying it! For shame, Tim! Language can only evolve when people like you invent and use sensible new words. Do you want to contribute to the English language remaining stagnant, or do you want to stand up and say “I sang a word which isn’t in the dictionary, and I’m proud of it”?
Adam is a monoped, and while the dictionary may not accept that, I do! Do you?

Sophie on 29th of October 2006

Love it… couldn’t possibly love it more if I had given birth to it…

Nicola on 29th of October 2006

Oh, yay for you!

Kirsty on 29th of October 2006

That was me, Nicola!

Woohoo, I’m legendary!

Nicola on 29th of October 2006

Some legendary person has discovered that at one point of the almost-kiss, their two faces and the microphone stand formed a perfect heart shape. It’s quite a beauteous thing to behold.
Evidence here- http://community.livejournal.com/spicksandspecks/82905.html#cutid1

Nic on 29th of October 2006

ok, was it just me or did you pat Adam on the arse at the start of that video? if you did… HILARIOUS! if you didn’t… sorry, let’s not speak of it again. Tis a good song though.

Sarah on 29th of October 2006

MAS… … and LoL…. That is truly hilarious… Tim, how can you deny that that is meant to be???

Kirsty on 29th of October 2006

I’ll drink to that, X!
And then Tim and Bon Jovi could have lots of very, very scary-looking babies with interesting hair.

X. on 29th of October 2006

Don’t you worry, Kirsty:
My Tim Minchin canvas bag got put into the wash with the old Bon Jovi T-shirt I use as pajamas. I realised only too late, and I had to wait, heart pounding, biting my nails, until the machine stopped.
The T-shirt emerged from its ordeal partly inside the canvas bag. Both of them survived and are as good as new.

I believe this means Tim should divorce Sarah, and marry Bon Jovi right away and forget about Adam Hills.
Besitos,
X.

Kirsty on 28th of October 2006

Tim,
I must warn you about something… and I couldn’t think of a better place to do it than in a comment to this blog…
I believe this love between you and Adam is ill-fated.
My Tim Minchin badge accidentally got put into the wash attached to my Adam Hills tshirt. The shirt survived, the badge did not.

I’d take that as a sign, if I were you. Clinging to Adam will make you all… rusty. Or something.

This has been a thought from my head.

– Kirsty
x

Jono on 25th of October 2006

I remember a few years ago I went to a live performance of the glasshouse and Adam Hills was one of the guests. They film the glasshouse 2 episodes at a time and Adam was polite enough to entertain the audience between the shows. While he was there, he did a really cool impression of the scene in Terminator 2 where the Terminator is walking on ice and his leg snaps off. Anyway, this annecdote is getting kinda long and pointless, and is lacking in Tim so I shall go, but I just wanted to share that story, oh and I think I saw it on TV another time to. Anyway, Tim Rocks!

Dani on 25th of October 2006

I think I remember hearing him say somewhere he was born with it. Or without it, as the case may be :-)

lily on 25th of October 2006

His prosthesis is made of titanium – that’s all I know.

Vivienne on 25th of October 2006

Forgive my ignorance, and feel free to laugh at me and this question, but is it true that Adam Hills has only one foot? What happened to it?

X. on 25th of October 2006

hahaha sirius but hahaha?
Forgive me, but THAT is stupid.
I don’t really have time right now to tell you about copyleft and my philosophy of life, dear Grant. Look it up in the wikipedia. Am wasting time wrting this, too. You could be a troll.
X.

grant on 24th of October 2006

y wd u make copys of shit cds thats stupd u shd jus burn them insted hahaha sirius but hahaha

luv grant

X. on 24th of October 2006

But do burn copies of CDs of disgustingly rich artists, though, guys. Especially if their songs are bad. They could have sung anything they wanted; they could have sung something good, like Inflatable You…
Thanks.
X.

Cat on 23rd of October 2006

Hoorah for buying!! I’m getting my bestie a CD… She’s heard all your songs on my CD so she’s not getting away with it… Actually I’m not letting myself get away with it because I’m the one paying… hmmm

Dani on 23rd of October 2006

hoorah!!

Sarah on 23rd of October 2006

That’s the spirit!!!

lily on 23rd of October 2006

Oh, ok. I’ll buy them copies. Christmas is coming up, after all – hmmm, canny timing, Tim.

Dani on 22nd of October 2006

Don’t burn them! Then Tim wont get any money for them and he’ll become poor and have to sell his piano to support his family! Then he couldn’t write any more new song…

Make them buy their own copies!

lily on 22nd of October 2006

Ah, homoerotic glory is my favourite kind :D
That was so pretty! I called up my mama and my sister and told them to watch the show and now they want me to burn my Minchin CDs for them too. That’s not weird is it?

X. on 22nd of October 2006

Orgasmic, Tim. Every female fan’s erotic apex.
Be my apple, little Tim.
X.

P.S. Sorry, Sarah. Got carried away. Will never happen again. Unless he does actually kiss a man, or engages in some other homosexual act with someone even only slightly attractive, in which case I could hardly be blamed at all for letting my imagination go wild…

Dani on 21st of October 2006

“monopodial embrace” Oh! I get it now! *grins sheepishly* ‘cos he’s only got one foot, right?

Well done on the song Tim :-) (have your lawyers ready for the Hillsong mob, they no sense of humour and loads of money – never a good combination!).

You’ve done a S&S song about Adam. Eddie Perfect’s done one about Myf, any idea who’s doing one about Alan?

ellen on 21st of October 2006

hehehe

jess on 20th of October 2006

lol, i love this greatly! funnyness
you are so kool! and you have awsome hair!

much love

-jess

Nicola on 20th of October 2006

Hoorah for downloads! There’s downloads available, err’body.

Vivienne on 20th of October 2006

Yes!! Lyrics!! That’s probably the sweetest and funniest song I’ve heard in ages. I also did not object to the almost-kiss you guys shared. :)

Gemma on 20th of October 2006

I’m so glad I watched Spicks and Specks that night!!!

You’re song was hilarious and not to mention very sweet.

Ben Gledhill on 20th of October 2006

awesome… thanks, i sure do hope u get the abc to let u upload it.. ooh, twould be sweet… thanks

Sarah on 20th of October 2006

Yeah… We all know that you just pulled out of that kiss because of morals and all that… The chemistry between you and Adam is UNDENIABLE Tim!!!!

Kirsty on 20th of October 2006

And I suppose you and Adam are “just friends” too?

I loved the song… and the almost-kiss you two shared. Very sweet indeed.

Sarah on 20th of October 2006

YAY! Lyrics!!
That song really was the shit Tim!
It was so sweet! If a little homoerotic….
Love you Tim! You’re still hilarious!

Janey on 20th of October 2006

It’s 2:58, my son is asleep, the heat has kept me up these past two days and the ‘Leave a comment’ box is sooo enticing. Every time I press submit it comes back like a retriever on a tennis court.

Janey on 20th of October 2006

By the way; when you are in Cambridge if you face the University, wave and say “Hi Thomas!” you will be greeting one of the cutest boys in England.
I promise I am not thinking slashy thoughts about the two of you together, I have been warned and I stay warned.

Janey on 20th of October 2006

Kawaii!
Oh how I wish we had a not fuzzy channel two.
Also to remember when Spicks and Specks is on would be nice…

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