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Quick One

by Tim 14th Aug 2005 | 13 comments

Hey. Still crook, but I think I’ll survive. I’ll just stop my farking whinging eh?

Couple more articles:



You don’t have to read all this shit… it’s just so my mum knows want to tell her friends about.


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Samantha on 17th of September 2005

You hate Brad Pitt???? Are you fucking brain dead Beth?

beth on 23rd of August 2005

I was going to diss the crap out of your movie, but then you said Tim was playing brad pitt. Now, I fucking loathe Brad Pitt (the ugly cunt), but if you can talk Tim into it, I’m fucking there. And now that we’ve had this little chat, I consider us good friends, and am therefore delighted tio pre-emptively accept your invitation to walk the red carpet with you, as I am so certain that it will be sent as soon as the date and place have been confirmed.

*hollywood kiss* Bye, gorgeous!

Turbank on 17th of August 2005

I mangled some goddam crazyman’s bejerky just because he gave me a kinda look which said, “Tim Minchin, I don’t know him.”
So I punched him. Right up his palooka. Then I took out my monkeywrench and gave his bejerkin private goddam veruca an unholy twist.
Thems the breaks for goddam lousy punks. Gwyenth, you sound like a honey. A honey in a hoola hat, Geddit?

Gwyenth Paltrow on 17th of August 2005

Yeah, that’s right ‘Beth’ go and eat a sandwich or something. A sour cream potato why don’t you? Here, have some more cheese and sweaty onions with that hot dog, you greedy slob. Woops, theres a dollop of melted butter dribbling down your chins there.
Don’t you people realise that there are starving children starving out there? I’m selling t-shirts if anyone cares and my new movie is about a 4 year old Nubian girl with syphilis (played by moi) who goes on to battle aliens in the shape of McDonalds food vouchers. She dies in the end (opps gave it away, sorry) but before she does, she travels into the future to watch her 18 year old self be ravished by Brad Pitt (played by-here’s an exclusive- Tim Minchin) dressed in plastic bags. Who says Hollywood is dead.
Go Tiyym.

beth on 17th of August 2005

Ha, another article trying to decide whose love-child you look like. Well done, Tim. *g*

And demon piano-playing? I knew Edinburgh was full of supernatural stuff like ghosts, but I didn’t know you could recruit the supernatural for your show. Well done, man.

Haha, this uni computer doesn’t know who I am. I can lie. But then I’d get caught up in these confusing and perplexing conversations between a person of people who may or may not exist. And then I might not know if I exist or not. So I think I’ll save myself the trouble and go to lunch.


Annette Slattery on 16th of August 2005

In the article in The Scotsman they referred to an Australian reviewer calling Tim “thinking women’s crumpet”. Is that a misquote of Ari Sharp’s comment “thinking person’s comic crumpet”? If so that’s a really wierd skew on the original meaning.

Anyway, Tim, go you good thing go! Getting some really good vibes back home about what going on for you over there. Make us proud!

Renee on 16th of August 2005

I’m sure Tim will be quite the hit in Tassie. After all, havning only one head is quite the novelty.

P.Dante on 15th of August 2005

Also I think your ‘h’ has lost its giraffe-like neck and arrived unexpectedly just after your ‘a’, instead of just before. But that’s just what happens when you’re a neckless h.

P.Dante on 15th of August 2005

This is a comment on a blog post about reviews of a semi-autobiographical work. And this is how you communicate with your mother? What if someone put in the word ‘cunt’ or ‘turbank’? Send her a fucking postcard.

The Butterfly Boys on 15th of August 2005

Go Timmy go!
I just can’t believe that out of the whole of the world’s population, TASMANIANS will be the first to witness your amazing talents after you return triumphant.

Nel on 15th of August 2005

good work timmy
i’m fast becoming your biggest fan. website checked multiple times a day, timmy the dog cd taking my room/car/ipod by storm… pretty uncool really.
seeya soon (i think it’s 6 days). if the dockers are in the first finals i think i’m going to miss them. still dubious but i have faith in the lads…

Gwyenth Paltrow on 15th of August 2005

Why do all those British reviewers begin their reviews with a discussion about your hair? I have hair and nobody dicusses my hair. Actually, that’s not true. People are always discussing my hair. I still love to laugh, even at things that are funny. Tee hee hee. (mick, you sound saucy. maybe you could give me some renovations some time. I live in Hollywood but I’ve got running water, tee hee hee).

Big Mike on 15th of August 2005

Sir Tim!

I’m so proud. One minute we’re at the Tin Pot discussing how colourful to make your eyes as you’ve just picked up your promo shots. The next thing I know that same shot is taking pride of place on the (fucking) BBC Comedy website!!!??

Damn, I wished I asked for more money for that DVD….. ;)

keep slaying ’em. I wish I was there.

– mick (my new name now I deal with Tradespeople most days)

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