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I really like Jonathan Ross. I think he’s a funny, interesting, kind person, and an excellent interviewer. I also really like his wife… But let’s not get back into that.

Jonathan and his wonderful producer, Suzi, have been incredibly supportive of me and so when they asked me to write a song for their pre-Christmas show, I didn’t hesitate. It was the worst possible time to be writing a new song – I’ve been overworked and ill, was on tour, and was really feeling the stress. But I wasn’t going to say no… it’s Jonathan Ross! And my fellow guests were to be Tom Cruise, the divine actors from Downton Abbey, and the ace Inbetweeners boys.

So I got to writing. Being Christmas, I thought it would be fun to do a song about Jesus, but being TV, I knew it would have to be gentle. The idea was to compare him to Woody Allen (short, Jewish, philosophical, a bit hesitant), and expand into redefining his other alleged attributes using modern, popular-culture terminology.

It’s not a particularly original idea, I admit, but it’s quite cute. It’s certainly not very contentious, but even so, compliance people and producers and lawyers all checked my lyrics long before the cameras rolled. As always with these bespoke writing jobs, I was really stressed for about 3 days, and almost chucked it in the bin 5 times, and freaked out that it wasn’t funny and all that boring shit that people like me go through when we’re lucky enough to have with a big audience with high expectations. And if I’m honest, it ain’t a world-changing bit of comedy. Regardless…

On Tuesday night last week, we taped the show. I met Tom (he’s nice and quite laid-back off camera, and not very short) and the divine Downton ladies (swoon) and the lovely Inbetweeners chaps (yay) and I did my song and everyone laughed and Tom said it was great and when it was done I ran off set onto the back of a waiting motorbike, got from South Bank to the Hammersmith Apollo in 13 minutes, walked into the building, straight on to stage to sing White Wine in the Sun with Professor Brian Cox. Rock n roll.

Subsequently, Suzi and her team edited the show and everybody was happy. Suzi felt it had a nice balance of big-ticket celeb action, local talent, and a nice bit of that cheeky, iconoclastic spirit for which Jonathan is known and widely loved.

And then someone got nervous and sent the tape to ITV’s director of television, Peter Fincham.

And Peter Fincham demanded that I be cut from the show.

He did this because he’s scared of the ranty, shit-stirring, right-wing press, and of the small minority of Brits who believe they have a right to go through life protected from anything that challenges them in any way.

Yesterday I wrote a big rant about comedy and risk and conservatism; about the fact that my joke has no victim; about sacredness (oh God, not again!) and about the importance of laughing at dumb but pervasive ideas. But I trashed it because it’s boring and takes it all too seriously. It’s hardly the end of the world.

But I have to admit I’m really fucking disappointed.

It’s 2011. The appropriate reaction to people who think Jesus is a supernatural being is mild embarrassment, sighing tolerance and patient education.

And anger when they’re being bigots.

Oh, and satire. There’s always satire.

Anywaaaaaaaaaay… the fun news is that I already had the footage of the song when they cut it. Yay. And so you can decide for yourself how offensive it is! Yippee.

Oh, and although I can’t think why anyone would have a problem with me posting this (Peter has covered his arse, the protection of which he is rather nervous about) but I suppose you lovely tech-geeks might want to grab a copy or mirror it, just in case I get asked to take it down.

I hope you enjoy my silly, harmless, accurate song of praise, “Woody Allen Jesus”.

And I hope you all have wonderful Christmases.


Below is a column I wrote for the latest edition of the New Statesman, which was guest edited by our greatest living evolutionary biologist, Richard Dawkins. It is about my daughter and Santa and belief. I hope you enjoy.

In the lead-up to last Christmas, when my daughter Violet had just turned four, she looked me in the eye and asked, “Is Father Christmas real?”

This was a problem for me. I had up until this point convinced myself that telling my kid a lie about the origins of her scooter was part and parcel of parenting – that denying a child the idea of Santa would be Scroogian in the extreme.

The trouble is, I have no memory of believing in the physics-defying fatty myself. One of our classic Minchin family tales is of Christmas eve 1978, when I was 3 myself, and my mum asked me in an excited voice, “Who’s coming down the chimney tonight?!” To which I replied, after a brow-creased pause, “Gran?”

(It is also part of Minchin lore that I was a very boring and quite dim kid.)

Regardless, our Violet had seemed quite excited the previous year when we had left a mince pie and a beer by the blocked-up chimney (Violet: But there’s no hole, how will he get down? Me: That’s the least of his worries…), and I’d felt great when she’d squealed with glee at five in the (fucking) morning upon discovering the comestibles had been consumed and that a reindeer had left hoof-prints in the icing sugar by the piano.

But now something in the assertion of the existence of this bearded philanthropist had given her pause, so she’d come to me for clarification. I wasn’t surprised – earlier in the year I’d overheard a conversation she’d had with her friend Alice as they sat by a lake in a playground in Melbourne:

Violet: If you fell in there, you’d die.
Alice: Someone would come and pull you out.
Violet: Yeah, but if the grown-ups weren’t around, you’d die.
Alice: (Pause) When you die, you go somewhere lovely.
Violet: But how would you know it’s lovely? You wouldn’t have your eyes and ears.

… an incomplete but still pretty damning analysis of the infantile idea that we (to quote my editor) survive our own deaths.

She’s always been obsessed by what is “real”. Figuring out what truly exists seems to be the way she deals with her fears. Most of the time when she asks if something is real, she’s hoping it’s not; trolls, dragons, witches have all been happily relegated to the fiction bin, and she sleeps pretty well in the knowledge that they’re not going to crawl back out and attack her in her bed.

And so I face a dilemma: I had sold her the myth of Father Christmas in the spirit of allowing a child her sense of wonderment, but I felt that lying to her face when she asked me point blank about the veracity of my claims was a step too far. I fumbled around a bit before opting for:

“Father Christmas is real… in the imaginary world.”

This didn’t really satisfy her, and nor should it have. Like so much language in theology and philosophy, that sentence has the odour of wisdom, but is a load of old bollocks. Quite nice as a phrase, but pure sophistry, like a lot of the stuff I say on stage, and like nearly everything religious apologists have ever said. It is the stuff of obfuscation – words to divert, like the passive hand of the magician – not the clarification Vi was seeking.

But I think it was the right answer. She went along with the story last year and I reckon she will again this year. By offering her the paradoxical notion of a non-real real, I allowed her the opportunity to just “go with it”, and hopefully she’ll happily do so until her friends find out it’s a myth, at which point she can quietly slip back into knowing what she suspected all along. There’ll be no crushing blow of revelation seven.

Weirdly, I have felt no compulsion to obscure answers to the more serious questions. Vi was very young when she asked what happens when you die, and I told her, “You just stop”. I see no problem at all with that answer. Not only is it demonstrably true, but it also has the wondrous quality of not eliciting a whole lot of further annoying questions.

I was asked recently how I reconcile my reputation for promoting a naturalistic world-view with the fact that I have co-written “Matilda” – a musical based on a Roald Dahl story about a girl who is preternaturally gifted and, eventually, telekinetic.

What an odd question. Do people really think that living a life unencumbered by superstition necessitates the rejection of fiction?

I adore stories. Our version of “Matilda”, even more so than the original Dahl, is a story about stories. About the importance of imagination, and of fiction’s ability not only to educate and enlighten us, but to free us; to set our minds soaring beyond reality.

My daughter will grow up reading stories, and I hope she will have a rich and lifelong relationship with the imaginary. But I will not try to train her out of her clear instinct to define for herself what is real.

I adore Christmas. The fact that I know that Christianity’s origins lie more in Paul of Tarsus’s mental illness and Emperor Constantine’s political savvy than in the existence of the divine has no bearing on my ability to enjoy this age-old festival of giving, family, and feasting.

Our lives would be empty without stories, and the story of this Jesus character is quite a nice one. One that – in theory, and sometimes even in practise – promotes compassion and humility and wisdom and peace.

Jesus is real… in the imaginary world. A five year old could tell you that.


Michael Dawson on 12th of May 2013

Great song Tim. It would have gone down great with the British public in the main. Yes it’s cheeky, but it’s sarcastic and sarcasm is on of the greatest British traits. If you can’t take the Mick out of something then something’s not right. Keep up the good work. Fab.

Candycan on 20th of February 2013

I like you Tim and I love your songs and seeing you perform in Melbourne was amazing but I don’t like your song about Jesus simply because it is saying inadvertantly that Jesus was a fraud and this is offensive and given that it is not OK to broadcast offensive material towards other religions/lifestyles, Christianity shouldn’t be an exception.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion. It just seems that nowdays it’s often OK to broadcast your opinion about God or Jesus being not in existence in a mocking way on TV but it wouldn’t be OK to do the same about any other religion other than Christianity.

Likewise it wouldn’t be OK for Christians to make mocking jokes about homosexuals on TV, even though it is just the belief/opinion of some Christians that it is wrong given that they may believe in the bible being God’s word and it says that in it.

I suppose I would be most accurately described as an agnostic bisexual so it’s not that I think it should be OK to make fun of any lifestyle or religion. I for one, am happy this song was cut. For once it’s nice to see a bit of equality in the standards of what is considered prejudice.

I don’t think I’ll ever understand why so many comedians feel the need to have their Jesus rant when it’s obviously going to offend people and cause pain in those who truly do believe in Jesus but also enjoy a good laugh. It’s like having someone make fun of your mum in front of you. You know that person is just a dick but it still makes you want to punch them in the face.

Julianne Evans on 23rd of October 2012

Dear Tim

I have to admit to a shocking ignorance of your work before J C Superstar. I think I had caught you once or twice on stuff like Buzzcocks but other than that was unaware of your range or your beliefs. Having seen you in JC recently I casually Googled you (as one does these days) and found your New Statesman column. I was fascinated by your description of how to deal with the concept of Jesus and Heaven with your children. Having done it myself I can attest to the fact that, although I am a complete unbeliever, being a biologist an’ all, I have unashamedly allowed my youngest child to believe that there is a heaven and that we will be reunited there – because it makes him happy. My eldest has never had those doubts – she knows that there is no God and has held that belief since she was six (along with Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy). Does this make me a bad person? I hope not – I hope that I have nurtured both the realism that my daughter requires of me and the hope that my son requires of me and therefore as a parent that I have done my job.

Best wishes


Rosa on 22nd of September 2012

Loved the song..so random woody Allen and Jesus…perfect match! I’m christian and LOVED! I’m sure Jesus would love it. I thoroughly enjoyed your article about your daughter as well. the imagination is so important in a child’s life. your answers to her questions were nice and open. your daughter sounds wonderful. I am still young and have no children but I always ponder about how to answer such questions in the future. I myself want to allow my children to choose what faith or whether they want to follow a religion in their life. fact, Jesus is a real person historically like Mohammad etc but it is up to them if they choose to believe in all the miracles he made. for me I believe and get so much joy from it. true stories can be just as thrilling as imaginary. Santa on the other hand…I was terrified of him so my mum had to tell me he wasn’t real…I was sooo relieved that a fat hairy man wasn’t coming into my house that Xmas .. belief…funny thing..unique to all.

Thanks Tim you bring up such wonderful topics of discussion :)

Edd on 25th of June 2012

I heard this song for the first time at the Eden Project on Sat night, and it was awesome. Not offensive in any way. Heyho, your a fkn excellent song writer so I’m sure next Christmas you will write something just as good, and maybe this time it will get aired.

Sian on 11th of June 2012

A bit late, but as an atheist, realist, humanist etc I see no reason why anyone would be offended by Woody Allen Jesus. You’re not taking the piss out of Jesus, Christianity or any other religion. It makes me annoyed that people are so afraid of the reaction of a few religious people that everybody has to miss out on a few things. Just because someone believes in something, doesn’t mean that their views are any more important than the views of those who don’t share their beliefs… if that makes sense. I’ve rambled a bit, but I think my view got across. Outraged from Leeds and slightly annoyed from Berwick on Tweed, (sorry couldn’t resist) would bow down before my angry letter writing.

Chinaren on 26th of May 2012

I think you’re looking at this the wrong way…

Perhaps they were not worried about Jesus, but about *Woody Allen*? I mean, Woody, or his estate (is he still alive?) has lawyers and all that, but I’m fairly sure that Jesus has never been known to sue* anybody, at least in person.

Anyway, I enjoy your work Tim, keep fighting the fight!

*As far as I know, I’m not in the legal profession, having some pride left.

Val on 8th of May 2012

well, you DID push the boat out a bit! But I expect you’ll walk across the water and land safe. All best for your Judas role

Roadbum on 4th of May 2012

I’m closing in on 60, and (joyfully – not my bag) never had any kids. But if I’d had a son, I’d want him to be just like you. Your parents must be so proud.

Roadbum on 4th of May 2012

I’m closing in on 60, and (joyfully – not my bag) never had any kids. But if I’d had a son, I’d want him to be just like you. You’re parents must be so proud.

Andrew McGinnigle on 25th of March 2012

Ooooh oooh I’ve just won a comedy comp for my sketch about an unemployed Jesus at his local job centre…eat that cynics!


Antic the Fearless on 19th of March 2012

Pardon me for being really REALLY far behind the curve and only getting up to speed on this issue recently. In all, I have only two things to say about this entire issue. One, this really sounds like something that would get pulled here in the US, not in the UK, where it appears (at least via my tiny BBC America window into the UK) the country is much more liberal and open-minded. You got robbed, Tim, but I’m glad you were able to post the song so that we could enjoy it. It’s really pretty funny. It’s going on my Christmas CD mix along with “White Wine in the Sun”. Second, am I the only person to be overwhelmed by the irony of the fact that Tom Cruise thought the song was really good? This is the guy who threw a major shit-fit when South Park made fun of Scientology, threatening to pull out of his promotional obligations for Mission Impossible III if Comedy Central had the audacity to rebroadcast it (which they didn’t because they are a network of very little backbone). So, what Tom is saying is that it’s okay to poke fun at OTHER people’s religions, just not HIS religion. Ah, the irony. or cynicism… or something.

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Tom on 25th of February 2012

Paolo, it was ITV doing the censoring – not BBC.

Paolo on 20th of February 2012

It continues to amaze me that things like this are censored by the BBC when shows like ‘Old Jews Telling Jokes’ and ‘Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents’ are given the green light…

Paula on 17th of February 2012

I can’t see the issue with Woody Allen Jesus. You were pretty polite about Christian beliefs and compared them to every day “realities/legends”. Our world is becoming way too PC. By the way, very funny song, you clearly do well writing sick, tired and overworked!

Gavin Stockley on 15th of February 2012

Absolutely brilliant… Can’t believe the Beeb canned your song… Typical! I don’t know where your ideas come from, lest of all how the hell you remember all the lyrics… Pure class! X

Kendra on 7th of February 2012

Loved the song, best take on Jesus since the Life of Brian

Paul Weldon on 5th of February 2012

I saw that video on youtube. I didn’t know it was cut from the show. As a fellow rationalist, humanist and atheist I thought it was very enjoyable. On a side note, if that was cut Tim should have just done “Ten Foot Cock and a Few Hundred Virgins” (that’s one of my favorites)

Spike on 5th of February 2012

Was a bit dubious when I read the post but have to say…. phenomenal!

Well done for a beautifully crafted piece of musical comedy.

Kim on 3rd of February 2012

Well I’m jumping in and asking you NOT to take it down because it DOESN’T offend me and I think I might have just as many rights as religious folk… maybe?? ;)

Sue Knox on 31st of January 2012

Tim, I love your music. Whether it is funny, contentious or just a short phrase repeated over, and over, and over… To be honest, the real drawcard for me is your style and watching you play the piano. I love whatever words come out. Sometimes my mouth pops open – but I am so proud of a fellow Australian who is not afraid to “put it all out there”. Congratulations on your recent tour and keep pushing everyone’s buttons. I will see you in concert next time you are in Melbourne.

David Icardo on 30th of January 2012

Hahahah Tim great job! I´m a spanish fan, you always make me laugh, even when I feel down. When do you come to my country? I´d like to improve my poor english only for enjoy your songs! And yes, you´re right, you are so fucking rock!!

Suzanne Olson-Hyde on 30th of January 2012

Here am I telling everybody on ThinkAtheist how secular and tolerant both UK and Australia is. And all this rubbish happens. What the!!!

What happened to ABC being neutral???? The DVD should be on sale.
Who vetoed this? This is censorship and it is intolerable.

Jere Kilpinen on 30th of January 2012

I think that’s complete, absolute, utter oxfeces. The song was one of the most intelligent interpretations of Jesus I’ve ever encountered. I’ve always admired your big brains, and your way with words, and I was laughing my ass off when I watched the video, thinking that you are dodging all the bullets and still getting your message through with this song, and then I read the rant and found out you were cut out anyway… I knew British people (especially ones working with telly or politics) were uptight, but I was not aware that they carry clusters of bananas stuffed up their asses.

It’s funny how Christianity, in all it’s randomness has gained such an chokehold on …well, everything. After all it’s nothing more than a misinterpretation of one jewish fellow, who probably never told anyone he’d be the only son of god, let alone starting a new religious cult in his own name (at least according to what I’ve read about this fellow, it would not fit the profile.) He was just misfortunate and surrounded by stupid people. I believe he was one of the many anarchist, humane fellows of his time, but after his martyr death things blew out of proportion. Without Romans there would not have been Christianity for the past 1700 years, it would have withered and died, but because it survived to the middle ages and was the last solid Roman ideal, it was preserved… Well, I guess you know all this, but my point is, that it’s just random luck that brought Christianity to it’s current state, and they just dodge this by relying on their fatalist faith, saying it was meant to be.

I think it’s just so fucking irritating to see such cencorship in the “western civilization”, which are all about freedom of speech and liberty on the paper, but something completely different when the reality hits the fan. Saying we’re better than Chinese does not make us better than Chinese. We’d need some shit to back that accusation up, and cencoring a song like this does not really do the trick.
Keep up the good work, come to Finland and I’ll buy you a cheap glass of red wine and we’ll discuss these and all other things. You made my day, but stupidity of TV executives already ruined it. I’m off to write some angry music.

July on 28th of January 2012

I heard it over and over again bevore I even read your note… I was absolutely convinced, that it was played at the show and never would have imagined, that anyone could be really displeased by it – obviously I was wrong… alas: time to write another hundred songs like this and keep getting on their nervs!!!
I love the wit and your creativity and hope you dont’t get discouraged by such things, especially if they are that little comprehensible!
By the way… time to stage a concert in Germany?

gibbers on 28th of January 2012

yea not bad, not bad at all

keep up the gud work

Les Stinton on 27th of January 2012

Why do we continue to take any notice of idiots who follow the writing of bronze age desert nomads! (Thank you Stephen Dawkins).

Tim should be made the musical director of the Royal Society, since his sharp commentaries are a breath of fresh air in a world polluted by the closed minds of god botherers.

Tim’s planned broadcast would have been a magical contrast to the normal December broadcasts.

Thank you Tim.

Sami on 26th of January 2012

That song is ace, people are way too quick to avoid situations which may be deemed as offensive by someone one day maybe. I got a torrent of abuse this week in my Biology class when (while discussing reproduction, evolution etc) I mentioned that there was research going on looking into the “gay gene”, apparently I made it up and is, according to one student, the most offensive thing she has ever heard. She must have lived such a sheltered life.

John Cheek on 26th of January 2012

Tim, you were fucked. This was a fantastic song that deserved to be on the show, and the fact that you were cut is a travesty. And this comes from an American who was raised in a church, and was smart enough to get out of it’s insane beliefs. You deserve much more praise than an imaginary construct out of our own minds. Don’t worry. You’re an amazing artist, and you’re hilarious. You have my support, friend.

Brian K. on 24th of January 2012

I think you should design and sell a t-shirt that has a picture of Jesus with all of the qualities described in your song. On the back of the shirt, you can have the chorus. Please make this for me. Thanks.

Gingefreak on 23rd of January 2012

I Think It’s Brilliant Don’t See Why They Cut Things Like This

Human Person Junior, Jr. on 23rd of January 2012

Tim Minchin, this note of true admiration comes from a dyed-in-the-wool conservative American. Your talents are major and huge, from composition to performance and the art of being, you really got it going on.

As you might imagine, I have forsworn the comforts of “taking it to the Lord in prayer,” and the possibility of having a “celestial, eternal home” waiting on me when I shuffle off stage.

Praise Jeezups and may God bless all oversexed clergy the world over, with their Holy Ghost-enhanced appendages.

But, seriously, I am a conservative. I don’t for one moment resent you for taking the other political stance, and I celebrate the HELL outta your bold (and hilarious) take on religion(s).

Esther on 22nd of January 2012

Love it…thanks for sharing!!

Matt Pritchard on 21st of January 2012

My assumption was that it got cut because “great power, great responsibility” is a line from Spiderman, not Superman. ;)

I was shocked and appalled at that!

Mazmac on 20th of January 2012

Fair call Tim, I can completely see why you were a tiny bit pissed at having your song cut from the final edit. How anyone could be offended by that is beyond me, but there you go – it takes all types! Keep up the good work, and as many have said before know that whilst you are creating a shitstorm, you are still doing fabulous work! Looking forward to seeing you soon, WASO round two!!

Mark yates on 20th of January 2012

Sorry to hear the song got cut. I guess with the 40,000+ complaints (and media-furore) around the relatively recent Jeremy Clarkson incident ITV just got over-cautious! After previous Jonathan Ross incidents they’re also probably being a bit careful… but I imagine Jonathan wouldn’t have been impressed with the cut…. but it’s through his show me and the other half first saw you – and now we have all your DVD’s now :)
Oh, if you ever need a support act – there’s a small London 4 and a 1/2 piece band “Erin K and Tash” I love who also do comedy songs… they even have a blow-up doll song (Tim has one too). It’s called Olga – it’s as brilliantly funny as yours. You should be able to find a lot of their stuff on youtube. They have another song “There’s Not Really Something about Mary” that is brilliant too. They’ve done gigs from the 50-200 range in London pubs and venues.

Robin Hillyer Miles on 17th of January 2012

People need to get over themselves.

Love the song and your “Ready for This?” album.

I discovered you via The Bloggess (www.http://thebloggess.com/) she put up your other Jesus song around the winter holiday.

Richard Campbell on 17th of January 2012

As I think Bertrand Russel said: “…And if there were a God, I think it very unlikely that He would have such an uneasy vanity as to be offended by those who doubt His existence.” [or by your song}.

So why should those who have God as their imaginary friend be offended? When you stop pissing people off you know that you haven’t done your job.

Robin Nagy on 17th of January 2012

I am a recent convert to Minchinity having apparently missed you as we crossed the globe in opposite directions at about the same time. Curiously I now live in Sydney having started off in the UK. Anyway, just wanted to say that your eloquence and eruditeness in your writings and songs is like a drug to me and I find myself becoming increasingly addicted and soothed by your morphine! Try not to be pissed off by controversy and censorship – it is a good thing as it means you are hitting the mark. Attitudes do change but the transition is very slow and people like you are an incredible catalyst. As a card carrying gay atheist who now works in a senior pastoral role at a boys’ Anglican school in Sydney (that could be one of your song lyrics!), I am constantly struggling with the hypocrisy of my situation, but it seems that the various religions have a strangle-hold on Australian private schools in a way that they don’t in the UK, and I’m buggered if I am going to martyr myself to working for $20,000 less in the public sector and not get the holidays either! (). Anyway, the reason I say all this is that we all get pissed off about censorship, but at least we live an honest life and one of integrity – I am probably one of the only – nay, perhaps the only ‘out’ gay atheist in a senior position at a religious school in Australia and even though I do not have a voice in terms of my opinions about religion, I feel that I can influence the next generation in many other ways and indeed I am encouraged by their ambivalence and antipathy towards religion and God. Keep writing, keep laughing and keep it true! Thank you from the audience!

Sam on 16th of January 2012

Absolutly loved the song as always tim, i must confess i am a bit obsessed with your work and this song is certainly no exception! keep on doing the wonderful job you’re doing and remember no matter what people say, you’ll always have the heart of a 16 year old australian (insignificant as it may seem) i cant wait for Tim Vs. the orchestra round 2, i love you! :D

jon on 16th of January 2012

Dear Tim,
(or whomsoever reads six thousand posts on this page)
Though I disagree with some of your conclusions,
and the butchery of the time signature, especially in the chorus,

I would have aired the program and left it up to the viewers discretion.

I’m a Christian who believes in free speech.
I appreciate the effort you put into the song,
despite my differing conclusion.
Ever cover any Beatles tunes?
I’d like to hear ’em.

Amanda P. on 16th of January 2012

Hi Tim, I think that last comment is just confirmation of why we all need your song, which really was a masterstroke. It was just perfect for Christmas, which after all is a time to be enjoyed by everybody. This includes those who believe that the mythical/ magical figure of Jesus was born on 25/12 and those who realise that the Jesus myth is just that and that the 21st century is an age of great enlightenment and an understanding that the earth and the human species are not the centre of all things – far from it. Your song was gentle, witty, truthful and inoffensive. It had something for everyone – believers and non believers alike. CLEVER!! You are definitely a man of the time – it is brave to stand up for what you believe in, but the world needs people of good sense and intellect who can really tell it how it is. Shame on ITV for being such total wimps – this was their loss and our gain.

jon on 15th of January 2012

Tim, you’re not a bad singer, and your zombie hairstyle (praise Jesus)
is indeed fetching. There are some nice intelligent comparisons in your tune.
Too bad all your deep thinking is in areas which keep you from the real Jesus.
by the by, the real Nazarene was a carpenter in an era without power tools.
If Jesus chose to… He could hurl Woody Allen at you with one hand,
and knock the eyeliner off your face, or further imbed it more deeply.
Of course if He could redeem your hair, that would indeed be a miracle.
Then would you believe?
I’m joking of course, my hair is even less promising than yours,
yet I don’t flaunt it.
Do you ever tire of George Smith platitudes, Dawkin’s imitations
of a Monty Python bishop….
or Hitchen’s strawmen?
I think you are smart enough to enjoy this brilliant man http://www.rzim.org,
or do you care?

Johnson on 14th of January 2012

Liked your song, i thought it was creative as always.

Nige on 14th of January 2012

What a piece of shit for not letting it be on your show. What right does he have to decide what britain finds offensive and what they do not, hopefully he goes to hell seeing as he believes in it.
Love you Tim.

Nicola and Martin on 13th of January 2012

that was great and me and my brother don’t think there was any think
agents it. this all so explains your absence on the show so yaaaaah!!

RogueTimeLord on 13th of January 2012

Typical of British TV to bow and scrape to the Daily Mail mentality of some viewers! The song is fantastic and if that’s the kind of quality Tim produces when he’s ill, tired and pressed for time, there really is no hope for anyone else to compete.
Personally, I think ‘White Wine in the Sun’ is the best Xmas song ever written, but this is a close second, glad we got to hear it despite TV producers making decisions for us about what we can watch.

Annie on 13th of January 2012

I could understand the objection if you had sung it on Songs of Praise, but the Jonathan Ross show???

But then I’m an atheist and you make me laugh more than anyone’s God is ever likely to.

Monti on 12th of January 2012

Brilliant. As always

paul on 12th of January 2012

That was just pure comedy brilliance,
Tim you really need to do this at a show

Holly S. on 10th of January 2012

Albrecht Durer Jesus.

Teresa on 10th of January 2012

Shame they cut it .. i thought it was funny as feck! love uuuu Timmy *muaahh* ;)

Chris Chambers on 10th of January 2012

Aww man, that is rather annoying. Never mind though, your legions of fans will undoubtedly see this song anyway – I already linked it to facebook. Also, there is already a thread on Angry-Feet about it. Additionally, I shall cover it, as it is that good.

Legendary as always Tim.


Nicola on 10th of January 2012

I was really disappointed to find out that Tim was cut from the show. I had it set to record, and didn’t find out about it until the day after I watched it. I thought to myself ‘when is the decent bit coming’. Being a big fan, I started screaming at the TV. I did also write a very strong letter to ITV but knowing them, they wouldn’t have read it. TIM IS FUCKING BRILL!!!!!

Cooper on 10th of January 2012

I being an atheist thought the video was shedding light on the fact and realism of Jesus christ in any matter Tim s song is fun to play and hear maybe in the future it could be aired without everyone getting angry and saying it’s being intolerance to their beliefs Happy Winter Solstice

Jonathan on 9th of January 2012

That Guy is a Fucking DICK! i really was looking forward to the show! I hope u get revenge!!!

Gadge on 9th of January 2012

I’d expect that from the states, but I’m ashamed it happened in Britain. I think most people love it. Praise be to Tim!!!

Stuart Brindle on 8th of January 2012

many years ago the legendary satirist Bill Hicks had his pre-approved, scripted performance cut from the Late Show with David Letterman (it turned out to be his last as he died a few months later).
Once again we see the fearful producers censoring the free speaking, sensible satirist by bowing to the assumed wishes of a superstitious minority. No one deserves treatment like this. Certainly not a rare and prolific talent like Tim. Sad and stupid but at least we have YouTube and blogs to get the message out there. Hurrah for Tim, champion in alternative media! Loving your work.

FRASER on 7th of January 2012

I don’t see anything wrong with this atall, It is as every song tim does hilarious!!! should not have been cut from the show. . . the majority of people that would be watching the show anyway would know what to expect

P.S !!!!TIM RULES !!!!

Cazz on 7th of January 2012

Oh Tim that is wonderful, I REALLY enjoyed reading this as it just says really 1) the truth & 2) something wot most of us have ALWAYS wanted to say but just didn’t have the balls, & that’s you to a t! It’s about time someone stood up & spoke the truth, it’s just about time more people would listen to wot you say instead of dismissing it as something sac religious. Keep it up Tim cos those of us who believe in you and love your work, ALWAYS will. X

Mimi Bowron on 6th of January 2012

Well it’s obvious, Peter Fincham is just jealous he has no attributes that can compare him to Jesus.

Jay on 6th of January 2012

I have just very recently become a very big fan of Tim. Tim, if you’re reading, bravo. You are 3 of my favourite thing, music, humour and secularism, weved beautifully into one big ball of entertainment chowder. Well, if you were in fact a tasty food like a dill pickle, and also a big breasted heavy set woman who enjoys having sex with me and loves dill pickles in every meal i prepare for you, THEN, you’d be all of my favourite things. and probably a slightly bigger ball. Thanks for the entertainment and being another champion of my number one cause of spreading reason with laughter and music.

To those who feel your (Tim’s) song was inappropriate for a christmas show, I ask how aware the producers were of who they were booking in the first place. I’m reminded of the controversy of when other well researched producers decided to book Stephen Colbert to be the guest comedian to roast George W. Bush. As you can imagine, it was a little edgier than good spirited. In each case, the performer was simply doing their trademark act that made them successful in the first place. The problem was never Tim’s. The problem was producer’s expectations of being different than what anyone else would expect from Michael Moore being asked to speak at an NRA convention or Cheech and Chong for an anti-drug school assembly.

For my money, you’re good medicine for all occassions Tim. I look forward to catching one of your shows in toronto some time.

PatrickKanne on 5th of January 2012

for those of you who think “what does he mean ‘the real deal’?” about my previous comment. Here’s an old (1810) print of this St. Nicolaas figure:

note in the (dutch, left) text he is referred to as: Sancte Claus.. Not a coincidence…

PatrickKanne on 5th of January 2012

hahaha… LIES!!!
Your editor is pulling your leg!! It was Father Christmas who forced him to cut it!!!
That media hungry drunkard was jealous there wasn’t a Father Christmas Jesus in the song… Geez, it’s SO obvious, can’t believe you missed that…

On a more serious note… I would’ve send back the lyrics way before shooting.. You can do better then this and it would be a shame a if large new audience would get to know you through sub-par material. Don’t get me wrong, I totally get the why and how behind it but these are, and you know it, excuses.

I liked the song because it was you and I could grasp what you were saying. As I listen to the reactions in the audience, they obviously did not.
Some of the comparisons you made were funny because of what it did with Jesus’ name, the link with the preceding explanations weren’t always obvious to an unsuspecting audience and little time was given to make that connection before the next moment of hesitant laughter. But this is MY “humble” opinion…

As for parenting… I’m in pretty much a similar spot, with as added bonus we got the REAL deal here (Holland) with St. Nicolaas (google it). We didn’t grow up with Father Christmas here, but Sinterklaas (as we affectionately call him) has been a children-party for centuries here in Holland.
Subsequently there’s this triple-fold problem: we cannot escape from the one (St. Nicolaas) since it’s baked into in our culture. We do also have to deal with the whole catholic part of Christmas (also part of our heritage).
But this Father Christmas..?? (TM) by the coca cola company?? Insane..

So, indeed, I/we try to teach our children that believing in something can be a pleasant thing, but it is also a choice. And that truth is out there for those who are done just believing. And they pick up on this very well… Thank Go.. err.. Me, Us.. the human mind.. :)

Oh, and the biggest dissapointments in that area as of yet? That Pokemons don’t exist (no, you cannot keep a monkey in a tennisball) and that StarTrek wasn’t real (no, we cannot go camping on the moon). :D

Amanda on 5th of January 2012

Hi Grovin Thewer, just sayin, but I think you are being unfair. I don’t think that Tim M. actually has an angry bone in his body. He is, by all accounts a gentle, kind-natured soul (my cousin played in one of the Australian symphony orchestras with him and could only sing his praises). He had had a huge year by the end of 2011 and had been doing lots and lots of charity performances. And then this on top of it all – I have no doubt he was feeling worn out, tired and probably a bit emotional. But angry? No, I don’t think you understand him at all, even though you claim to be a ‘huge fan’. Let’s be charitable and cut him some slack. He seems to place himself under a lot of pressure to do the best he can and be the best he can be – and after all, he’s only human. He rose to the occasion, even though he was feeling under the weather, and then ITV just dropped him. I think anybody would feel justified in being annoyed by that. I couldn’t let the ‘angry’ comment just sit there without saying something.

Grovin Thewer on 5th of January 2012

Dear Tim,

while a huge fan of yours, I do not really understand why, if you’re looking for confrontation, you start ranting if you finally get one?

I am pretty sure they are happy to broadcast your Woody Allen Jesus any other time of the year and I am also pretty sure it will be a great success.

But in a Christmas show? No matter if you are believing in a Christian Christmas or in good old Yule Tide, nowadays Christmas is supposed to be a jolly feast of love and understanding, all celebrating together and not trying to make fun of someone else’s belief.
Or don’t you drink white wine in the sun with all your family instead of harassing your religious old auntie (I am sure there’s one in every family)?

So please stop complaining or you’ll risk looking like the schoolyard bully who starts crying as soon as the little kid’s hitting back.

Happy New Year, Tim, I hope all this anger in you one day will be replaced by peaceful wisdom ;o)
Well, no, better not, that would be boring.

P.S.: I am an Agnostic and I am also refraining from making fun of your unprovable belief.

Vatna on 5th of January 2012

And you got fired for this AWESOME song?… world’s mad…

Dave Evans on 5th of January 2012

once again a song that makes you laugh and makes you think and makes you marvel at the way that this man’s brain works!!

a fantastic song and a real shame that people feel the need to censor comedy on behalf of the masses………………..

Jason Hunt on 4th of January 2012

Amazingly funny song, political correctness is a complete joke itself now, nobody is allowed to express their views in case it offends some jumped up idiot. If people don’t like it then switch bloody over! Plus if religion or other cults can’t take a bit of satirical humour then it’s not one I would want to be involved in. If people choose to believe in a divinity he must (or she) must have a sense of humour to explain all the weird stuff we have been given (or evolved). Why give a bloke nipples from a Devine design it’s rubbish from an evolutionary process it does make sense, plus periods what mor can you say he was (or she was) having a bloody laugh!

Archie H on 4th of January 2012

Hi Tim enjoyed your live at the Apollo 2009 or 2008 on tv over Xmas the best thing on over the holiday keep it up man
Ps what do you think of Yurts ?
Archie H

Alice on 4th of January 2012

I’m a Christian and I don’t find it offensive, but then I’m of the liberalist side of the faith so… anyhow, I love Tims work, I have even managed to convince my mates to us MAS instead of LOL! And if anyone sees Peter Dickham, tell him from me that he needs to loosen up, we’re not all animals!

Sheila on 4th of January 2012

listened to this a bunch of times and still cracks me up…plus the piano playing is great!! Will it be on itunes?

MG.C on 4th of January 2012

I have read a great deal of fiction in my time but cannot claim familiarity with either testament so will steer clear of commenting on the religious aspect.

“Father Christmas is real… in the imaginary world.” Everything is real in the imaginary world; it would be a pretty poor imaginary world if only real things were allowed.

Amanda on 4th of January 2012

Your song is wonderful and has led me to read a whole lot of material on the “Jesus Myth”. I was interested to see that scepticism had already begun to increase in the 19th century, but that the two World Wars and the Cold War halted this trend towards reason and caused human beings to return to the ‘faith’ of their fathers. So many young lives lost – and for what? Surely there must be a higher power to turn to for consolation. But of course there wasn’t and isn’t. I sent your song to my sister – nervously, as we had both been brought up in the church. She roared with laughter – thought it was wonderful – and told me that she hadn’t believed in the Jesus myth for years, but had been reluctant to tell me. Tim, you are a legend for making scepticism honorable. The more I think of the words of your song, the more of a masterstroke it becomes. It is clever, witty and all true – and doused in kindness, as your work always is. It certainly has as much place in any Christmas special as a musty old carol. Now, just how did you manage to write it in only 3 days??!! I’ll bet the Monty Python lads are drinking your health and are glad that common sense and reason are being given centre stage. (And you have put me onto Prof Brian Cox too – I have just gone and bought his DVD’s. The wonders of the universe are so much more exciting than old myths and legends). Bravo, Tim, Bravo! I think ITV have done us all a massive favour – even though the man who banned your song must be a fool.

Gin-g-a on 4th of January 2012

It’s amazing to me how people can be so afraid of any kind of freedom of speech. This song doesn’t hurt anyone. But people will allow so much cruelty to continue in this world and never speak up.

jim on 3rd of January 2012

The guy who cut it is clearly a pussy! Britian has been enjoying satire for hundreds of years and we can even think for ourselves( i think). Personally, i think its brilliant and quite light hearted entertainment. Was awfully nice of them to do Tim the favour though as i had never heard of Tim untill this happened. The pope song. Incredible! One of the funniest things ive ever seen.

Laura Mckie on 3rd of January 2012

OMG!!! i wondered why you weren’t there!!!! i only was gonna watch it because you were on it haha and that song is AMAZING!!!! cant believe they never put you on..
your the best TIM x

Joe Bartlett on 3rd of January 2012

When i read this on youtube I couldnt believe it! Brilliant song and by no means offensive, may as well have used the g word… fun sponges.

Try and have some chill time Tim :)

Marcus Swail on 3rd of January 2012

All the hassle and stress was worth it Tim – fun song, great sentiment, and intelligent as ever in the content and delivery. It will probably get more exposure than if it hadn’t been cut also!!

Stifan Purple on 3rd of January 2012

The word parthenogenesis slipped un-noticed into my vocabulary during the week before Christmas 2011, but I’m not sure exactly when. But I think it happened when I first heard WoodyAllenJesus, so I’m pretty damn sure I was among those who also heard it at the Apollo. Nobody seemed to dislike it. Some clearly enjoyed or even adored it. Even if Peter Fincham is clearly not in touch with his audience, maybe he should get in touch with AN audience, like the 3,500 captivated by TM at Crisis at Christmas at Hammersmith. I wonder how Wosser’s former (pay)masters at the Beeb would have reacted to WAJ. Better than Fincham, I hope. Not a great fan of the Beeb either, but I suspect they’d at least have the maturity and experience to understand that the ranty, shit-stirring, right-wing anal retentives are a very small minority indeed, and shouldn’t be allowed to usurp disproportionate power the way that Fincham has permitted them to.

Andrea Anaya on 3rd of January 2012

I totally agree with you. I also support your song and love your sense of humor. It’s a pity that some people are too narrow minded to get it, but it’s great that we got to listen to it anyways (thanks to you!).
About the “father christmas” thingy, I grew up never believing in the existence of some old guy who brings presents, and I was a truly deeply happy child and am a deeply truly happy person. When I have kids I’ll raise them with the value of truth and lots of love as I’m sure you raise your kid (or kids, I don’t know).
Pardon my not-so-good-but-rather-rusty English.
By the way, I’m from Mexico, me and my friends LOOOOOVE your songs and some day we’ll travel to the US or UK to see you perform live, just keep doing so at least ’till we get that chance please! :)
We love you Tim Minchin! you are kind of our hero (ish) :D and you play piano like a god! (at least an hypothetical one that plays piano as good as Tim Minchin, which means that he’s actually pretty good at it).
Ok… that’s it.
Lots of love from Mexico

leolabeth on 3rd of January 2012

Thanks for the song. Thanks for blogging about the mini-drama. It’s helpful to read about what boneheads administrators can be.

Headed to London this summer to see “Matilda” with my 10 year-old son thanks to recent Minchin Madness. Love your work. Glad we’re on the planet at the same time.

Trust you’re feeling better.

Elena on 3rd of January 2012

I kneel before your Infinite wisdom.. LOL… You are soooo good at what you do that you could with very little effort create the “Church of Minchin”… Just saying… :)
I am so sorry I missed you when you came to Seattle Washington… I didnt find out until after you left.. ~ which is my life.. missing everything cool~
Will you be coming back, PLEASE.??!!..

Tina L on 2nd of January 2012

Tim, that was a hilarious, intelligent and original song, and I can’t believe it was cut from the show – well, actually I can because it would seem we are no longer allowed to be exposed to anything that challenges the dumbed-down, ‘safe’ comedy that is now part of mainstream broadcasting! The fact that it was cut should be regarded as a compliment. Those who appreciate your talent will seek you out, thanks to the internet. Isn’t it better to be loved by a few rather than being merely regarded with indifference by many?

Minchin fumes after ITV cuts song | Articles Blog on 2nd of January 2012

[…] “It’s not a particularly original idea, but it’s quite cute,” wrote the comedian on his blog. […]

Alan on 2nd of January 2012

Huh. Most of the critical comments I’ve read about Woody Allen Jesus seem to be on your site. Elsewhere many dogs seem to come from shovel-wielding geeks pointing out you applied a Spidermanism (“With great power comes…) to Supermannery. Although, really, maybe I didn’t do enough research. Hardly a meta-analysis. And maybe the Christians are still recovering from the Boxing day sales. They’ll weigh in heavier in the coming weeks. In the meantime, I found on YouTube the ‘I Like Christmas song’, which was surprisingly sweet. I like Christmas, too. It’s when people stop acting Christian and start acting like pagans. Taking trees indoors, being nice to each other for change, looking forward to Wodin landing on their roof with his eight-legged horse/reindeer to leave shoes full of straw and candied fish heads or whatever for the children.

Jay on 2nd of January 2012

Great blog Tim! I love the song and I can just see progressive premature types using it to praise Jesus with the young’uns in their care! ( which will be great ’cause it will lead them to the Tim minchin philosophy of life and then they can choose for them selves)

Re the Santa question – I remember my dilemma at speaking the out right lie, and ended up by explaining that it was all pretend, but that everyone had a great time all pretending together!

On the question of the Christmas story – “Mum, did all that reall happen? Is it all true?” as we drove home from some after school Christmas event, I answered (I thought) evasively “well, some people believe it really happened”, but Emily, aged about 7, knew instantly that I didn’t believe it!

Now she is 17 we discuss my inability to lie about Santa and Jesus, and I think she felt a bit cheated out of the magic of the Santa bit! If she ever has kids I can’t wait until she has to face this decision! I’ll get her to read your blog then!

Happy new year to you and all your family

Tim Minchin – WoodyAllenJesus « 5ecular4umanist on 2nd of January 2012

[…] annoyed, Tim Minchin blogged about this and put a recording of his performance up on his YouTube channel. He asked people to mirror the […]

Mark Edwards on 2nd of January 2012

We recorded the Jonathan Ross show specifically because we read that Tim was going to be on it. Luckily we had recorded it rather than watching live (20 minutes of Tom ‘The Midget’ Cruise? No thanks.) After fast forwarding through the entire show and wondering ‘where’s Tim?’ we came here. Thanks for uploading your song here Tim. As usual it was witty, intelligent, catchy, melodic, thought provoking and thoroughly entertaining. ITV’s loss. It would have been a shining light amongst the normal drivel that they broadcast.

p.s. Just watched Tim and the Heritage Orchestra on DVD. Same genius, bigger sound. Brilliant.

David Buck on 2nd of January 2012

Excellent – ‘edgy’, post modernist, secular fundamentalism at its best (?) – surely flattering it was not aired? Otherwise it would have slipped into the category of the lazy racist humour of yesteryear?!

Philip Wallis on 2nd of January 2012

Tim. As a fellow muso, despite your obvious skills, sometimes I think you try too hard, but…at least you try…and often you succeed.

As for ‘Woody Allen Jesus’….three words…Lenny Bruce…Bill Hicks…Robert Schumann (8 June 1810 – 29 July 1856)!

Okay! I know Schumann’s comedy isn’t as well known as the others…But I swear you all have something in common!…Nobody got it!..

As Robin Williams once said…’Joke em’ if they can’t take a F*&#!’ You keep doing what you’re doing…someone’s got to shake it up…and people are listening!

Isn’t it strange,…it’s a joke for God’s sake? ..folks are debating whether this is/isn’t your best work…and you’ve already fessed up!

…I Dunno! Welcome to the 21st Century… (I’d joke about tweeting you about it later…but I bet some people already are….)

Comedy is too serious to think this sort of shit is important!…

…Thank God for http://www….

P.S. …I suspect that was more than 3 words…but I know a person such as yourself, would never pick on someone who can’t count…Yet!…? (…Isn’t English a marvellous language?…)

Steve UK on 2nd of January 2012

How stupid and limited are they to take off the funniest and cleverest musician/social commentator of our age? They should be poked harshly for they are spineless toads worthy only of our poking. Not even that – not even poking.

Happy New Year to you! Maybe poking to them. Maybe none.

Chris on 2nd of January 2012

That footage from the Jonathan Ross show was spectacular. Should have gone out on the show for sure.

Kevin Phillips on 1st of January 2012

Nothing wrong with this. Usual fantastic standard. Keep at it Tim. I am hoping to catch you in concert at some point.

G.Pearce on 1st of January 2012

The spineless ITV controller was obviously worried about losing his job, and fell into the trap of trying to please everyone without realising that to do this you lose fresh and original content. Tim, dont lose the ‘edge’ on any performance – you rock!. ‘Woody Allen Jesus’ sits right up there with Fairytale of New York! Hope to see you perform it on your next UK tour.

Catherine Everett on 1st of January 2012

Im a baptised Catholic and I thought that song was brilliant.

rini6 on 1st of January 2012

Well it was no “Pope” song (which delights me to no end.) It’s enjoyable and I think it’s hilarious. I thought perhaps you guys were a little less neanderthal than we in the U.S. are. I guess not. Although, maybe we still beat you with GOP candidates that are pretty much gunning (almost literally) for a theocracy.

Still, we do get to listen to it. Thank you, internets! :-)

Mun on 31st of December 2011

Absolutely disgraceful that they cut it out. It was fucking hilarious too.

Ruth on 31st of December 2011

Tim, I want to thank you for giving me Christmas back. After listening to White Wine in the Sun (after hearing your interview on NPR last summer), I can enjoy the caroles and the spirit and ignore the dodgy lyrics with complete peace of mind. Now, I can’t get enough of Woody Allen Jesus! Yes, it’s a ditty, when compared to White Wine in the Sun, but it is still brilliant.
I have 3 of your CDs and Ready for This on DVD, and I made a special trip to London to see Matilda–which is an absolute theatrical dream.
Thank you for speaking, I mean singing, your mind and sharing your weird, wonderful take on life.

mike on 31st of December 2011

Praise be to thee O wise one, tho’ having seen it now, I can understand why the repressive retards were scared of it. I guess being censored is better than being circumcised or crucified.
I shall never watch ITV again unless there’s something good on, so not much chance there then.
My mum says we are related in the distant past to aussie Minchins, so happy new number changing day cousin Tim, come on round and change my water into wee(d).

Rob on 31st of December 2011

Heard the song, loved it, laughed and marveled at how clever it was, told everyone I could about Tim Minchin. Got a DVD of a Tim performance and had more laughs than I’ve had since first discovering Eddie Izzard. Hell of a musician as well. Would hope to hear you live some day!

AnonymousDraco on 31st of December 2011

I found it hilarious.

Doesn’t matter if you believe in God or not. If you can’t have a laugh you might as well jump off a cliff.

Very good song.

Jenny C on 31st of December 2011

Inspired!! What is WRONG with people?!?

Sam on 30th of December 2011

When this first happened I felt so flat and unhappy for you, Tim, because I it all seemed so unfair. But people aren’t stupid and I am so glad to see the well of support you have received from far and wide. We thought the song, written in just 3 days, was a stroke of genius and have passed it on to all our friends. I know you are very supportive of Jonathan Ross, but we won’t be watching his program again, knowing what they did to you. What a bunch of cowards! We hope you have a great New Year and that 2012 is a wonderful time for you and your family. We’re proud of you here downunder.

Synonymous on 30th of December 2011

I have to wonder whether they have avoided a greater backlash from those who revere Jesus, than the torrent of complaints at their heavy handed censorship. The phrase “Damned if you do, damned if you don’t!” springs to mind. With censorship, in my opinion at least, it is always best to publish and deal with reality!

Tim Walker on 30th of December 2011

I was introduced to your brilliant talents thru a Facebook post about the censorship of this bit by ITV thru a UK friend of mine.

As a US citizen, I find I am often drowning in the bigotry of right wing arseholes, and might never have found your amazing stellar satire, talented music and comedy without this YouTube video protest!

I am so very thankful that I did indeed discover your fantastic performance, and have since viewed so many more courtesy of the Tube.

I find this such a refreshing and intelligent performance, that I will now go buy your DVD’s, even after having seen most of them now online, simply because I feel I MUST support such a profound talent as yourself!!

Your work is so F’ing funny!! Amazing musical skill, intelligent, and present to the social systems we find ourselves in, and perfect biting satire of same!! You are easily the most refreshing comedy act I have seen in my 50 years on the planet! Not since Monty Python have I been so entertained and at the same time nourished with clever thoughts and ideas!

All praise Tim Minchin!! By the trinity of the power of the holy humor, the father of musical delight, and the son of satire!! Praise you my son!! :-D ROFL while LMFAO!!

Roisin on 30th of December 2011

Amazing Tim. You’re a highly intelligent human being, with incredible pano playing skills, and I envy you on both of those points. Good luck to you and if you’re touring in Ireland sometime soon I will be in the audience somewhere!!

Mike Calneggia on 29th of December 2011

I can’t add much more to the supportive comments other than to say that I enjoyed the piece very much (on YouTube) and this has probably done more for your profile than if it had of run on the JRS. Just another demonstration of how the tradtional media are losing the self-interest protecting censorship war. Well done.

Miah (aged 9) on 29th of December 2011

I love it!

Angie (and fellow Ginger from West Texas, USA) on 29th of December 2011

Bravo Tim! Loved the song! Support you 110%. Also love your mind! Wish we could clone you and send you out amongst the populus 50 states and maybe open some minds or at least make them think.

Caz on 29th of December 2011

Hmm – I’m sorta pleased they pulled it, cos I probably wouldn’t have seen it otherwise, unless by accident – on the other hand, I have despatched an email of complaint to ITV to tell them how pathetic this is. Enjoyed your song, Tim, and will also be paying much more attention to what you are up to in the future.

Casa_Ali on 29th of December 2011

Frustratingly couldn’t get this to play earlier but have just had the pleasure and can’t for the life of me understand where any perceived or actual offense could come from! The lyrics are clever, humourous (as always with TM) and basically just… factual. There’s no profanity or vulgarity – it’s really tame in that respect so seems well tailored for entertainment not scandal. Will watch the rest of the show later but don’t believe TC or other guests would have influenced the censorship as it’s simply not needed. Think this is just another example of over-reaction by “know it all” authority figures who can’t understand that we might have more than one brain-cell and either be able enjoy intelligent comedy or find the standby button ourselves.

duffster on 28th of December 2011

loved your song, really funny and has introduced me to your talent. I’m wikiing your work to hear more. Hope you dont get too much backlash. I believe in JC’s love and Godlyness and fully believe he will have found it funny too
Thanks x

Ja on 28th of December 2011

I ripped the song off YouTube, converted it and then loaded it on to my iPod, so I could have it playing whilst we ate our Christmas dinner. I felt guilty not paying for it, so bought “White Wine In The Sun”, from iTunes to make up for it. My Mother-in-law loved it, as did my wife and my 12 year old son, they also loved “White Wine In The Sun”. (I feel like I’ve broken into song!)
Come back to Southampton some time (I know the sound system is shit in the Guildhall, but please come back anyway!)

rachelle on 28th of December 2011

whilst it behoves me to feel that ITV were, in their action of cutting Tim Minchins’ song from the Jonathon Ross Program, in some way trying to spare ITV the small plethora of Christian complaints from the small plethora of Christians that might have complained, had the song actually been aired, it also behoves me to remind you of how small-minded, timid and absolutely chicken-shit this “prevention is better than cure” answer to a question no-one ever really asked, really is. Apart from the fact that the song was about as offensive as a pair of water-wings, and apart from the fact that on one web-site alone some 787 messages were made in support of the song and its lack of any real offensive potential, I am now making a formal complaint to ITV because it cut the song “Woody Allen Jesus” from the program: and I’d bet you a pound to a penny that the complaints piling up because you didn’t show the song would by now have far outweighed the complaints you would have got had you shown it. This has to be one of the most pathetic and spineless displays of “complaint-phobia” ever exhibited by a television company, given the above and the fact that in the modern, forward looking world, church and state were known to have been separated several centuries ago. In literal terms this means that for the vast majority of people, we laugh at dumb-assed, persistent pervasive ideas, regardless of what the Catholic war-criminal Anthony H Blair might say, or for that matter the current Prime Minister, or for that matter any group of gun-toting fanatics that don’t like cartoons. If a person has faith and intelligence they should be able to weather any tirade of “fun-poking” by the breadth of their faith. It was a piece of comedy, and it was made in good taste and in light of the fact that religion is purely a belief system and has no provable grounds in science or reason save that we just might, you know…we just might – survive our own death? What? These people are running backwards to stand still, and ITV appears to be in the business of protecting them from offense. These people should not be encouraged, they should be pilloried.
The nature of, say, Christianity is to forgive, and I feel sure that any “Christian” watching would have forgiven Tim Minchin and ITV. And if they didn’t, well they should all just learn to live with being offended. I am offended every single day of my life by the mindless stupidity that is caused by people “believing” and yet I do not seem to be represented as a worthwhile entity because I do not have faith. Day in, day out there are mindless acts of incredible violence made by one faith against another, or one sect within a faith, against another sect within that faith. Look at that poor little girl who gets spat on by those orthodox jack-asses when she goes to school, all because a misogynistic religious group asserts that she is a slut or a harlot for not covering her arms.
I am offended by the hour because of religion and apparent freedom of religious expression; bombings, shootings, massacres, disguised paedophillia, dissuasion of contraception against a backdrop of unwanted children in an ever expanding population, and quite frankly I am sick and tired of being offended by questions and prepositions that are NEVER going to be answered by or through religion. Christians, Jews, Muslims, Scientologists, the bloody lot of them should learn to live with being offended. Why the fuck should my tolerance have to put up with their intolerance any longer? It’s a sham. Religious belief is not and should not be a free-ticket to the land of Dontoffendme, and it’s about time that ITV and Peter Fincham understood that fully. For all the protection that you afford these people, you spit on people of broader minds and greater practical reason. You can say what you like about pulling the item because “editorially” it didn’t fit, but we all know you pulled it because it might have offended some Christian. Well now you’ve offended someone because you pulled it you morons, as you can probably tell by the “tone” of this letter. Quite frankly, I hope a ripple of offense goes through you when you read it – I hope you feel offended by my offense at not being able to watch inoffensive Tim Minchin singing a song that was completely inoffensive, and in case you aren’t offended enough by now, fuck you and the horse you rode in on, you spineless piles of puss. Rachelle

rachelle on 28th of December 2011

Dear Timbo, got wind of the song and the “furore” a little late, however, it’s brilliant comedy genius and about as offensive as a pair of water-wings. My granny and I were in hysterics over the song and equally as amused by the comments made in support as we were bemused by ITV’s reasons for pulling it. Catering to the moral minority in their quest never to be offended is one of the reasons people in general feel a sense of disenfranchisement from mainstream media. It’s bloody nonsense and I’ll take someone’s initiative from the blogs above and complain to [email protected] after I finish this – it will be interesting to see how many complaints they get for NOT showing the Woody Allen Jesus song! In light of Peter Finchams past record with the likes of “Brass Eye”, it all seems extremely retrograde. The whole thing reminded me of a slice of ancient Monty Python, in which Michael Palin stands on a box and says: “I think that all right-thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary decent people in this country are fed up with being sick and tired – I’m certainly not, and I’m sick and tired of being told that I am…” I for one Tim, am certainly sick and tired of being fed up. LOL from Rachel and Granny!

Gogs on 28th of December 2011

Good on you for posting this mate!
It’s funny and clever not to mention damned right! If those of a religious persuasion feel threatened by this then religion is bang in trouble.

Lucy on 28th of December 2011

ITV are massive idiots… But whatever, let’s not dwell.
Couldn’t Tim replace “rude” with “crude”? I don’t know, to me that would make more sense. I feel like a heathen for saying it.

Pat Beardmore on 28th of December 2011

At midnight on the 24th Dec, myself and my wife went throught the fraud that is Santa. We partially ate the mince pie and left some crumbs, we unwrapped the box of chocs my 8 year old had left for Santa, we drank the glass of milk and chewed the end off of the carrot. A forensic scene worthy of CSI. But I felt dreadful, almost sick with guilt. Children should have at least one person in the World that they can turn to for the truth, someone they can ultimately trust. Once a child realises that their parents have not only lied but the whole of society has conspired to create a massive fraud, who do they trust after that? Perhaps we are teaching them a valuable lesson: trust nobody, not even those who love you the most, they all lie to you. What a horrible and shocking way to learn such a hard lesson.

Praised be the Woody Allen Jesus (by Tim Minchin) on 28th of December 2011

[…] the Jonathan Ross Show tomorrow night (23rd December 2011), but at the last minute ITV cut it. [… read the rest of the story […]

Faris on 27th of December 2011

Wonderful song, lovely post.

It is disappointing, especially considering Fincham’s association with classic satire like The Day Today.

It’s reminiscent of what repeatedly happened to Bill Hicks on Letterman. Although Bill was a lot angrier.

It always feels like we are on the cusp of evolving as a civilisation, but somehow can’t bring ourselves to step over the brink.

Media seems so much more relaxed now then even a few years ago, but somehow this country still maintains archaic blasphemy laws on the books.

And it was damn funny mate, but not damnation funny ;-)

Keep on Rockin’ On.

Brad Steele on 27th of December 2011

Fuck’em if they can’t take a joke!!!

MrsGrey on 27th of December 2011

I despair — on many levels. Why is there so much fear of offence? Not that this carefully funny song could be offensive to any but the most intolerant and dermisically-challenged…Please don’t be too downhearted Tim and I hope you have a good and enjoyably Christmassy break with your family. Btw I do agree about the real/unreal and the importance of stories. My four-year old son asked, after my mother died, “Well if dead people are not in their bodies, why don’t we just eat them?” That did not stop him from sending the first bit of writing he did, on a helium balloon up to Granny, to find her on her cloud. Another way to answer the Santa/Jesus/heaven/hell questions is to say “Some people believe that. I don’t, but some do.” That gives the OK to any comforting thoughts that might be temporarily helpful, and you can answer further questions about what you DO believe. Both mine turned out atheists after that approach, Granny clouds notwithstanding — he’s doing a PhD in particle physics.

Uncle Ian on 27th of December 2011

He’s not the Messiah, he’s just a very naughty boy.

Daniel Prado on 27th of December 2011

This song is abso-fucking-lutely amazing! And thank legba you shared with us! You are an fantastic artist Mr. Minchin, and the world definetely needs your words and music!

I LMFAO with this song, as usual. Especially the Derren Brown and the Komodo Dragon part!

Regards from Brazil

not-so-grinchy on 27th of December 2011


Patcher on 27th of December 2011

Merry Christmas, Tim;

Thank you for sharing WoodyAllenJesus with us.

Craig on 27th of December 2011

Regards previous comment. My humble apologies! My beautiful post is still there in all its pristine awesomeness. :-D.

Craig on 27th of December 2011

Tim. My last comment has gone missing. That’d be tantamount to censorship. I was merely being opinionated. Something you’re allegedly passionate about.

Fight the power! ;-)

Debbie Rotman on 27th of December 2011

I could not understand to whom your song would be offensive – of course, I might not be the best judge. I expect people to be open-minded when it comes to humour.
Your song is absolutely hillarious. It was a strangely accurate analysis of Jesus. I enjoyed it very much.
When are you coming to Israel? I believe you owe us a peace anthem…

Merry Christmas!

Rob W on 27th of December 2011

Ding Dang a Ding Dang Dong- A Peter Fincham Special Song?

Rose on 27th of December 2011

Somebody post six more comments, then it’ll be 777, the beast’s mate who lives half an hour away.

Rose on 27th of December 2011

Yeh, I have literally just spent the last half hour going through comments on the web page of one major part of the ranty, s**t-stirring right wing press known as the telegraph and feeling a strong temptation to kill the bloke who wrote the article.

Cathie on 27th of December 2011

When I lost my faith after 46 years of it being real, it shook me to the core. I was angry and anti-Christian for a long time. But this is not an anti-Christian song, it actually celebrates what we have all accumulated through the Christian stories- the myth as I now see it, in a gentle humoured way. And the second part of your blog puts it into context so well. Let’s hope in 2012 the song will have a deserved wider audience….

Philip Patston on 27th of December 2011

Loved the song, Tim. Typical small minded tv types. I kind of met you in Aotea Square Auckland New Zealand a few years ago with a friend who had said wouldn’t it be funny if Tim Minchin came and sat down near us. Then you did. Fancy. I’m sure you remember me. I was wearing a wheelchair. We came to your show and laughed a lot. Ok I’ll stop now.

MissyFL on 27th of December 2011

PS – I am very upset with you!!!! “White Wine in the Sun” made me cry!!!! (Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Peaceful Kwanzaa, Blessed Solstice, and Joyful Non-denominational Winter Holiday to all!!

MissyFL on 27th of December 2011

Oh, for Pete’s Sake!!! It’s entertainment. If you don’t find it entertaining, change the channel. (Personally, I think it is very clever and funny. You are certainly in touch with, well everything. How many songs can you name that work in Jesus, Woody Allen, and Zombies? Honestly, if it offends one then one is taking thing MUCH too seriously!)

And now for the important question – You are coming to the United States (and specifically, Florida) when?

Daniel 'mavrick' Lang on 27th of December 2011

Merry Xmas Tim! Re-uploaded as requested :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txfpfMvOYC4

Jason on 26th of December 2011

I wonder if you are going to plow through 764 comments, but this is a real possibility for what happened:

Tom Cruise gets a lot of criticism here in the States about being a Scientologist. Scientology, as you know, is popularly accused of being a superstitious, made-up, mythological belief system. Tom Cruise frequently throws his weight around (figuratively speaking) and uses his publicists to strong-arm media outlets into portraying his beliefs as acceptable (and bartering for future coverage), and your brilliant song cut way too close to the bone for Tom Cruise. So it is within his past behavior to demand that his people, who deliver other prime Hollywood clients to Ross’s couch, ensure he’s not associated with such a secular, anti-superstition song that could bounce back on him.

Ross and ITV didn’t want to lose on future high-powered movie star bookings. That incredulous look on Tom Cruise’s face was Tom Cruise thinking of how many minutes he’d have to wait before calling his high-powered publicist and making sure he wasn’t associated with such satire that, quite logically, could be doubly applied to him.

Kathy on 26th of December 2011

My condolences. I had hoped that Britain was more civilized than a lot of the people I know here in Texas , but apparently we both have the “ranty, shit-stirring, right-wing press, and … small minority. . . who believe they have a right to go through life protected from anything that challenges them in any way.” Sorry you got cut from the show. Please take a small comfort in the knowledge that I am going to spread the video!

Debsmart on 26th of December 2011

I love you Tim Minchin! And White Wine In The Sun with
Brian Cox was too good for words. I cried. And Jesus is another magnificent creation that only those worthy will seek out. Please continue to be oppionated for many years to come.

Rachel on 26th of December 2011

Tim the little clever old fashioned mate like to play tricks :P

Joshua Billingsley on 26th of December 2011

Listened to the song and thought it was spot on! This spawned over an hour of Tim Minchin time on “The Youtube” This then sent me on an internet journey to get the albums and songs I have enjoyed for free all this time.

Thank you Tim for making my Christmas great!

Blongy Momma on 26th of December 2011

Brilliant song.

Carys Eleri on 26th of December 2011

Drinking red wine in the rain. (Wales) Thanks for another wonderful year of your musings and insight. Both this blog and article evoked so many reactions within me, as I’m sure your future blogs, articles and songs will.

Much love :)

Ruth on 26th of December 2011

I am a minister in the Church – just did a whole lorry-load of services for Christmas & had a great time. I also have a sense of humour: I think this is great & I am not at all offended – just amused. Thanks. Happy Christmas – and here’s to a more tolerant New Year! Cheers!!

Hannah Hunt on 26th of December 2011

your work is clever, funny and iconoclastic. To me, that is the formula for perfect comedy, but to others, not so. The guy who cut this song needs to understand you can’t please everyone, but the laughter you get from other people makes up for that you don’t get from the haters! Merry christmas xx

Lynne barker on 26th of December 2011

Dear Tim, PLEASE do not let insecure people take anything away from your wonderful song. I’m a very committed church goer who loved your song. You captured the essence of Jesus beautifully and concisely – better than most of us could have. I think followers of any religion should hang on to their sense of humour and enjoy the insights gained when the sacred mixed with modern culture is viewed with a smile. Well done! Christmas blessings to you and your family x

Trevor Rose on 26th of December 2011

…personally i thought it was brilliant… and if that’s the kind of songs you can write when you are tired, overworked & stressed… then you are truly a genius :-)

Patricia on 26th of December 2011


That was amazing . You are amazingly talented. How are you getting on with that water to wine thing……………….

Statistiker on 26th of December 2011

Hello Tim,

Greatings from Germany. Great song. Wonderful. I sent it to all my friends. And ITV: Do they know the “Barbara-Streisand-Effect”????

Katherine on 26th of December 2011

We are (my teen children, ex-husband, his wife, and fabulous me) new devotees of you and your immense talent – WoodyAllenJesus was the first clip I viewed of your work last week and our family has been viewing Minchin Marathons everyday since. How very unfortunate that you are being censored – I thoroughly disagree with that cowardly choice. I promise to share the clip far and wide along with so many others. Though you provide laughs, you also provide healing – I saw my teen daughter tear up with a couple of your pieces – giving her a sense of validation in your words on more than one occasion. For that and more – you are so valued in our family. (PS: We are from Austin, Texas – a wonderful artistic universe hovering the state of Texas itself)

Marijke Tromp on 26th of December 2011

Very clever, there must be something in the water in WA, to have such fantastic artists.

Daryl Mckenzie on 26th of December 2011

Tim, I’m a fellow Dawkins and Hitch admirer. I love you . You’re billllllliant. Re your comments on Violet’s musings and the importance of imagination,and fiction’s ability: Reality is infinite and not necessarily confined to the temporary arrangement of an individual’s atoms. Some things you can see with your eyes closed and Beethoven heard music when he’d lost the use of his ears.

Jen on 26th of December 2011

This may have been mentioned before (I’m too lazy to read through all 700+ comments) but technically, that should have been
Magic, Woody Allen, Zombie, Spiderman, Komodo Dragon,Telepathic, Vampire, Quantum Hovercraft, *Me* Jesus.
It was Spiderman who had the “With great power comes great responsibility” line in his movie. But that’s really a petty detail, and doesn’t detract from your awesome song.

…wait, I know why they cut your song from the show! It was so they wouldn’t anger all of the comic book movie fans!

Aripyanfar on 26th of December 2011

On Santa Clause: “You know how you like stories? Even though they are not real? They are fiction. But they are still very fun, and they can teach stuff. And when I read you a story, I feel happy and close to you.

Well, everyone in our entire Country has a few stories that we like to tell each other at the same time, at the same time of the year. It makes us feel closer to each other. It can be a lot of fun, and make us all happier, even though we know it’s (fiction) make-believe.

In America everyone likes to all tell a ghost story on Halloween, and everyone dresses up, and the kids get to be naughty OR nice, depending on the rules of the story.

(And when you are older, you’ll probably meet a story that goes: “Once upon a Time, in a Galaxy Far Far away….”)

kirsty mootz on 26th of December 2011

brilliant!! As always. Not nearly offensive enough to be removed from Tv in the “free world”. Bunch of wallies@ ITV obviously.

Gott Mit Uns on 26th of December 2011

From the Christian fundamentalist perspective Jesus is for adults what Father Christmas is for children.

Tim, don’t worry mate… I have an idea for your new song:

“Attention unemployed priests, popes, Christian broadcasters & theologians.
Local shopping malls have a number of vacant positions as a Santa Claus.
Good working conditions. Double pay on Saturday/Sunday. Costumes and fake beards provided. (Only male applicants may apply)
-Good fable-telling skills
-Basic acting skills
-Clearance from the local child protection authorities.
Also on offer are numerous working positions as an Easter Bunny for 2012. Costumes are provided. “

Kim on 26th of December 2011

Thank ITV. Their actions will move a lot more CD/DVD’s than the original ad.

Sally O'Neill on 26th of December 2011

Hi tim I am writing from melbourne Oz n am a big fan. I read in the melb paper on Xmas eve that your song had been pulled from the show. I watched it on YouTube n loved it so much that I posted it on Facebook as a Xmas card. Don’t worry, that footage will get out there through the magic of Internet. You are a philosophical theological n comical genius n never forget how loved you are here back home. Keep up the good fight and merry Xmas.

Lorraine and Chris on 26th of December 2011

We love your Xmas song, and have listened about ten times! ITV are the pits! I wonder if the Beeb would have been braver?

Rick on 26th of December 2011

Not one of your best but still good. A lot of people seem to have come here specifically to slag you off, clearly not fans to begin with. ‘I like so-and-so instead of you’, ‘not funny’ – comedy is subjective. I can say without a doubt Tim is the best musical comedian around :gasp:, but there we are. I’m not going to email Bill Bailey to slag him off, he seems nice, and much of his material is brilliant.

‘I’m so offended…’ Well don’t watch his other stuff then, trust me. Keep rocking Tim.

Tim Carrier on 26th of December 2011

This is good stuff, you could make a living doing this. I love it

Andrea on 25th of December 2011

So pleased to have read this as I have been deliberating myself what to tell my bright 3year old about the man in red. Having had two children already, the younger of whom was utterly devastated when finding out ‘the truth’ and (quite reasonably) asking ‘how could you lie to me like that?’ when in all other aspects of life I actively duscourage deception, I’m loathe to put another child through that heartbreak for the sake if maybe three or four nights of excitement. I think you have provided me with the answer; one which neatly skirts the issue and leaves the child to draw their own conclusion. Thank you. :)

kraig on 25th of December 2011

Tim, you’re a legend. Your work is fantastic and because some people are afraid of a little bad press, don’t let it get you down. Your a very talented realist with an ever growing fan base. Happy Christmas to you and the family.

Ricardo on 25th of December 2011

Tim, you are funny, others are not. Please send them the works of Christopher Hitchens for a little enlightenment!

This is water off a duck’s back, you will always face small minds.

M King on 25th of December 2011

Disgusted Tim wasn’t on Jonathan Ross he was the only reason I was going to watch it. TV has gone mad

Claudette Sutherland on 25th of December 2011

Whenever I have written a “fan” letter, (author Michael Cunningham and poet Jack Gilbert) I find myself making an effort to be original enough or quirky or clever so I won’t look like a fool and so that the recipient will fall over backwards stunned by my insights and good taste.

Woody Allen Jesus had me cheering from my chair on Christmas morning. Then I watched STORM and frankly, found myself moved to tears.

I sent both off in emails and as I addressed them I realized I was being very circumspect as to who I sent them. Realizing THAT, it occurred to me that none of my acquaintences (NONE) who pepper me with missives trumpeting their own belief systems, (Jesus, God, prayer, soul’s salvation in the after life) hesitate for a mili-second considering whether I will be thrilled or offended. There is this blindingly cavalier assumption that I, like them, will be part of an array of souls who have the lock on the answer. I would rather stick pins in my eyes.

To censor your brilliant and hilarious Jesus piece is, well, indicative of exactly the people who deserve an eternity in heaven. Together. So this is a long way of saying that I can’t get enough of your work and your sensibilities. Happy holidays, no matter what they say. (Brian Cox the actor??? Pal from a long long while ago.)

smith on 25th of December 2011

Get over it…

Being censored by ITV is far cooler than appearing on ITV, and, lets face it, it would most likely have been Cruise’s management than would have gotten cold feet about your Jesus themed amusement – ITV have taken many greater risks than that. Or perhaps YOU censored it yourself to garner some kind of insurgent kudos?

Trust no one!

Pat Parrott on 25th of December 2011

Some people are afraid of cleverness, or anything that makes the audience think.

Alice Heanue on 25th of December 2011

What assholes,that was awesome!

Georgia on 25th of December 2011

I liked that song and I don’t know why it was edited… (My dad showed me it on Youtube, I think.) Hope you go back on the Jonathon Ross show and they decide to keep you in. Wish you a merry Christmas! Best wishes, Georgia x :)

Eva on 25th of December 2011

Will you be releasing this song? Finally, a Christmas carol I won’t get tired of.

2wheeler on 25th of December 2011

Excellent, sad to think people really have no sense of humour, you made us laugh in this house as you always do, keep up the great work Tim! Merry Christmas

Aripyanfar on 25th of December 2011

Dear Tim, Don’t worry, Peter Fincham yanking your song is one of those “best things that could ever have happened to it” bannings/protests. I linked “White Wine in the Sun” to all my Facebook, Skype, and gaming site-Off Topic friends as part of my Christmass messages to them all. (Most of them are American, and always curious about what a Summer Christmas is like, and what an Australian Christmas is like. White Wine in the Sun just captures it perfectly. Mostly about family love, secular, cynical and simultaneously sentimental, yet nodding to the nice bits about the Christian narrative. The one Aussie I linked WWITS to got “misty eyed”.) Anyway, one of the first replies I got back this morning was Woody Allen Jesus. It was such fun. WItty arrangement of words, and divine (heh) piano, as always. By the end of the day I’d posted it around to a few friends I’d been chatting with, and had the tune on auto-replay in my head like the good little MEME music often is. It was only late in the day I noticed it hadn’t aired at ALL on TV and dropped by here to say that even if you put a heck of a lot of effort in in a really bad time for you, it in no way has it gone to waste. I think the You-tube views are in the millions already on one link.

Saw you live in Melbourne, and was dying to yell out “one day you’ll be as good as Elton John”, but I was at the top of the Gods and didn’t think you’d hear. Rock on, Philosophe.

Andy on 25th of December 2011

I’ve viewed it now. I can’t for the life of me think why anyone would be offended by it. It’s gentle and lighthearted.

I also can’t see why anyone would find it funny. Diff’rent Strokes I guess.

I’m probably biased though as an Atheist and someone who has never found Tim funny.

Sir Liberal on 25th of December 2011

“The appropriate reaction to people who think Christians are stupid is mild embarrassment, sighing tolerance and patient education.

And anger when he’s being a bigot.”

Cassie on 25th of December 2011

Bwahahahahhaa – they really missed out on this one!!

peter on 25th of December 2011

funny, i always thought it’s a left-wing invention, this political correctness that everybody in this overprotective magic united kingdom is scared shitless not to uphold. and you pin this on the right-wing christian conservies :)
anyway i have played woody allen jesus like 100x in last 2 or 3 days and i still can’t get enough of it, it’s just brilliant :))

Amanda Stone on 25th of December 2011

Listening to “Black Christmas” by Poly Styrene come out of my radio (BBC 6Music) and sending waves of love and fellowship to Mr Minchin.

If the sun does break through today, here near London, we’ll get a white out.

Have a White Christmas everyone.

Janet Hope on 25th of December 2011

Tim I love everything you do. Your ability to gently send up widespread beliefs using a combination of intellect, knowledge and humour, to rhyme so well and to sing beautifully with every word enunciated so I can hear it, continues to astound and amuse me. I hope your Christmas song gets far more viewers via the internet than it would have on TV, and I hope ITV gets so many complaints it eventually shows it!
Lots of love from Janet in Canberra – sunny 29 degrees followed by an afternoon storm. (Saw you in Wollongong and the Sydney Opera House)

paul stanton on 25th of December 2011

jesus did not exist so there is nothing wrong with writing a song like woodyallenjesus i hate when tv producers a&m folk try to destroy pure creativity as a songwriter i understand that every song written has a lot of creativity, time, blood sweat and tears they could of respected you enough to put it on after you putting time in your busy schedule with your tour matilda and especially your family i must admit it is a hilarious and well written song and i as a fan am proud of it i cant stand to see things like this be it tv producers record labels and agents putting a cap on what you can and cant write its a breech of you freedom of speech
Merry woodyallenjesus…apparent birthday
enjoy the white wine in the sun

Mark on 25th of December 2011

Tim the statement “Weirdly, I have felt no compulsion to obscure answers to the more serious questions. Vi was very young when she asked what happens when you die, and I told her, “You just stop”. I see no problem at all with that answer. Not only is it demonstrably true,” is also a purely conjectural and “faith” based statement as there is no evidence of it, so say it is a fact is wrong.
You are put forth as an intellectual, clever and witty comedian, mock and ridicule is neither clever or witty just easy and lazy, your beleifs, ( which is what they are, as there is no evidence to prove them) are as valid as any others.
I believe it is good to make people think and evaluate their beleifs but am disappointed you didn’t even really try this approach, just appealed to the lowest common denominator.

Dave, Perth on 25th of December 2011


All the best to you and yours this season and always.

If your not home I’ll have a white wine (or shearer’s champagne) in the Perth sun for you.

Much ado about FA. Bright side; publicity (as if you need it), strong show of support (I read may comments but only a small %).

I speak for myself but know there are a multitude of believers (Timminchians): YOU MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE! Keep challenging us and making us cry with laughter.

AnonymousDraco on 25th of December 2011

FFS what is it with people worrying about causing offence all the time. How does the old rhyme go..sticks and stones?

Peter on 25th of December 2011

Without in any way wishing to deify Tim, nor to answer Jonathan Ross’s question in the affirmative, if a religion is a system of beliefs by which to live your life I am increasingly tempted, when asked, to declare myself not a Christian, nor a Muslim, Atheist, Agnostic – but a Minchin!

Tim, thanks for making me think, yet again.

Rich on 25th of December 2011

Minchin. What a champion.

Franko on 25th of December 2011

Hi Tim. It’s Christmas day in Perth. Blue sky, sunny, starting with a foolish easterly breeze. The water at Cott is brilliant, aqua green and clear. It’s easy to get a parking space as everyone here seems spooked by sharks. They spot them everyday because they go looking for them. Sharks are real but they are usually not bothered with people unless they are hungry. So we get to share the beach and that wonderful, warm, enveloping weightlessness of a Christmas morning, summer swim. I’ll be having a glass of wine later. Yup, in the sun. Thanks for being part of my Christmas. You made it to the local paper. I wish the headline read, “Christ! It’s Tim Minchin”. You are the story telling philosopher thought provoking miracle mixer contemporary Jesus with a piano here on the beach this Sunday morning.

Kit Lawson on 25th of December 2011

What a pity. I’m not surprised though after watching a Channel Ten (Aus) review of famous 2011 deaths; no mention of Christopher Hitchens. Probably not considered suitable for the time of year.

Cathy Creswell on 24th of December 2011

“Christianity’s origins lie more in Paul of Tarsus’s mental illness and Emperor Constantine’s political savvy than in the existence of the divine ”

Genius!!! You know I have true dedication to express a comment when I have to come the the FUCKING WAY DOWN HERE to post it!!! So Tim, good on you!!!

Steve Hindmarsh on 24th of December 2011

I knew something was tugging at the back of my conscience when I saw the Ross show? I was sure I’d seen your face being touted? I subconsciously played my E4 recording from the Apollo London tonight then went looking to buy some of your material, doh! – how pleased my mind was to have the missing piece of the jigsaw rammed into place by your wonderful song so thoughtfully and caringly placed on your website!

May Hitchens rest in peace, god bless im, long live (2x) the Minch!

Love ya!

James on 24th of December 2011

Shame that ITV pulled the plug on it as it was funny but can’t see how it would have caused offence to anyone.

Still at least because it was chopped lots of people online have made sure it won’t be forgotten!

Chick on 24th of December 2011

Well what can you expect Tim. Fancy getting Superman and Spiderman mixed up. Blasphemer!

Lucy on 24th of December 2011

I have sent my complaint to ITV viewer services. I hope more people will do this to show what they think. Tim you are amazingly clever and talented so you must keep pushing the boundaries! It is people like you that make this world a more interesting place.
Can’t wait to hear a musical take on this saga!

Merry Christmas to you and yours xx

Liz on 24th of December 2011

Have a great Christmas, Tim, and for heaven’s sake look after yourself!! Unlike Schrodinger’s feline (in your song), you can’t be everywhere at once and it sounds as though you are wearing yourself out. Your managers need to take better care of you. You’ve done so much for charity recently, and of course that’s great, but you clearly need a break. Jumping onto the back of a motorbike to get from one place to the next when you are already exhausted sounds like madness. Stop and think of yourself for once. Leave all of January blank and have a holiday. Warm felicitations for the festive season!!

Alan on 24th of December 2011

Probably not your best – but many times more humorous and intelligent than most material put out on mainstream broadcasting. The really great thing is that ITV have really shot themselves in the foot and made this song much more sought after online that it might otherwise have been. Maybe Mr Fincham had worked out that pulling the song would make it really popular so this was his special way of saying ‘thank you.’ I may well have missed it had it not created such a furore … so cheers ITV!!!

Alan, Scotland.

Garry Evans on 24th of December 2011

Also disappointed not seeing you on JRoss Show, here in Oz, ABC after promoting your appearance failed to deliver, now we know that some foolish dh responsible. Keep up the profound profanities & how about a regional show in the Shepparton locale when next in Oz.

Nikki on 24th of December 2011

Knew you were Jesus!!
Haha I thought that was awesome, shouldn’t have been taken down!
Merry Christmas or “Happy Birthday” :P

Scott on 24th of December 2011

Very funny. Small minded management should be ignored.
Being a recovering Catholic it is nice to see someone else point out that Jesus was a philanthropic zombie. Found this on the Youtube trail after being brought to tears by ‘White Wine in the Sun’. Living in Singapore for 7 years with two daughters (one born here) and not going back to Perth for Christmas really brought this home. Thanks. Will subscribe.

Donna Wilkes on 24th of December 2011

It’s such a good song. They should never have cut it. Madness. Thank you for sharing it with us!

Brian Ashton on 24th of December 2011

Sorry to hear you’ve been run down Tim. Saw you perform the excellent song at Brighton for Uncaged. Marvelous!

Wishing you a chilled Yule to recharge your metaphorical batteries.

ITV… Shame on them.

amanda on 24th of December 2011

love the song – love the article. love the smell of gasoline but only from a distance. is that weird?

Tim on 24th of December 2011

All through the week I’ve seen ads on ABC1 (I’m an Aussie…) for Jonathan Ross’s Christmas special featuring you. Then when it starts, Jonathan makes no mention of you.

Shame on Pete Fincham – he’s not worthy in any way to censor a satirical poke in Christianity’s ribs, which EVERY decent Christian (yes, possibly an oxymoron) would struggle take offense from.

I read somewhere that some of the best publicity you can get, worth WAY more than your appearance fee, is that which you’ve received. You stepped to the line, Pete pushed you over it by cutting your song and deeming it controversial.
If the song had aired, there would be a few religious peoples talking amongst themselves about how you brought shame to yourself by likening Jesus to all manner of other things.
But it didn’t air, and now we have over 700 comments on here, and the Daily Mail running a story. That’s WAY better on the publicity stakes if you ask me.

Keep stepping up to the line and let someone push you over it every time, Tim. Your comedy is VERY clever and should NEVER be censored by anyone.

Chris Fleming on 24th of December 2011

Cheers Tim, your a true star x

philippa on 24th of December 2011

I saw you perform woody allen Jesus at the hammersmith and as a born and raised catholic I found it… hilarious. Some people are just stupid

Adrian on 24th of December 2011

If this had not been cut from the show I might not have heard about it. I don’t watch ITV ever. So the “controversy” brought the video to my attention, I watched it, I enjoyed it, went to my girlfriends and showed it to her, then we watched some more of your videos on youtube. All in all I have spent at least an hour watching your stuff since then. Last night me and da missus have agreed we’ll come and see you do a show sometime. So there you go Tim, you got two new punters out of all of this, so it ain’t all bad :)

Peter Howells on 24th of December 2011

Only an idiot would be offended by this.
Did Hitch die in vain ?

Barbara on 24th of December 2011

if it had been included it would have been, at best a 3 minute segment which would have been forgotten in a week or two, now the fallout will last a lot longer

dave jones on 24th of December 2011

I’m a christian. listened to your song Tim – not really offended by the song – you’re only exercising your right to guide others in a free-speaking democracy. I presume the line ‘praise be to Jesus’ is sarcasm – or have we missed the point completely and you actually are Christian?

As you say – Christians believing Christ to be a supernatural being need ‘gentle education’ – as you so clearly understand – Christ is a living ‘person’ – which doesn’t seem to be understood by many.

Thanks for the ‘gentle education’

Steve on 24th of December 2011

I’m with Rebecca. The ABC actually advertised the fact that Tim was on the show tonight, knowing full well he’d been edited out. Maybe there’s a song in there for you Tim.

Sandra on 24th of December 2011

absolutely brilliant, of course, and spot on. this song needs to be heard more, not less, you twats at itv!

Luke on 24th of December 2011

Just when you think things might be slowly, slowly turning……….

Rebecca on 24th of December 2011

Pretty annoyed the ABC advertised the show as having Tim on it and I sat through the whole show and it wasn’t on. Outrageous. I watched the clip and, once again, very clever and funny.

max on 24th of December 2011

funny song!
imo, santa myth is the first social contract that we impose upon our children to accept obvoius fallacy in exchange for gifts.
sets them up for the future…

Alex on 24th of December 2011

Hi Tim

Keep up the good work, saw you live last year and loved it and hope to hear this song next time I do … love the song, making me chuckle heartily and I can only presume that the thought police were having to be especially paranoid because of Wossy’s BBC exit and all. Still a pathetic bit of censorship though!

Have a great festive season.

Loraine on 24th of December 2011

Hey Tim, I just watched the video. I think the song is brilliant! I also think you are brilliant and extremely talented to think of the lyrics in your songs. Christians however are a sensitive and insecure lot and maybe are offended by the thinking minority ….or is it majority. Keep on doing what you do… more power to you and happy holidays!!!

PS I also love The Pope Song.

Kathryn on 24th of December 2011

I was expecting something offensive… really? What is offensive about that song?? Sorry, but finding it hard to see why that would get cut but other much more anti-‘christian values’ stuff gets shown. Hypocrisy, led by fear. So sorry it was done to you Tim. It is getting people talking though, which can only be good. Will complain to ITV.

Chris, Bradford on 24th of December 2011

Awesome! Really poor that it was cut. Very clever song that theists could surely take as a song that shows how a god-less society obsessed with celebrity would make people cynical about a second-coming and miss the chance of redemption (and a ride on UFO)? Whilst the rest of us have a little chuckle. :) Keep at it Tim, you make me smile every day. Merry Christmas!

David Allslop on 24th of December 2011

Why not have a go at insulting Islam and Mohammed or is that a little bit too scary

Peter on 24th of December 2011

They should not have asked you write such a song, knowing your views. But having done that, it was really poor form to cut it from the show.

Clive on 24th of December 2011

Tim, thanks for another great song. Not your best IMHO but topical, funny and with spot on observations as ever. Your daugher’s questioning of Santa reminded me of a 7 year old in my class who explained to another (muslim) child: “Of course Santa’s not real, you never get any presents from him, just from your parents…” Can’t fault that logic.

kev_s on 24th of December 2011

LIked the song but you did look very tired. Take it easy man!!

Joseph Nobles on 24th of December 2011

Getting down a blocked up chimney being the least of Santa’s worries is one of the best bits of this post. I’ve always been a fan of the throwaway line.

Erica on 24th of December 2011

I’m in my 50s and was raised to think of Itv as the home of the bland,boring,unchallenging and frankly a little dumb. Seems there are some still there who want to keep that reputation. Tim Minchin and Downton on one show -a winner-didn’t watch it on principle. ITV retaining its place as the Nation’s sedative. Keep up the good work !

Peter Van De Verg on 24th of December 2011

As a parent of young adults, I can say that it will be OK in the long run. We love your verse and music. The English seem to be into censorship these days. The BBC recently apologized for a DJ in Belfast playing Christie’s “weekend in amsterdam” which I thought was brilliant. In the internet age, being censored can be golden.

Phil on 24th of December 2011

It’s obvious… shame on us all for missing this.

Tim, release it next year and we can make it a Christmas number one.

(Please can I play guitar on the track though).

Rich on 24th of December 2011

Peter Fincham is the new Phil Daoust

Rich on 24th of December 2011

I paused Jonathan’s show and watched your song after the Inbetweeners. Fantastic.

James Alders on 24th of December 2011

Rejection Tim, ’tis a bastard. Imagine how Jesus felt!

Dan Chan on 24th of December 2011

Song was clever – absolutely – but your after-the-fact condescension (“patient education”) of Christians for me changes it’s tone from gentle ribbing to thinly-veiled hatred. Sorry.

Happy holidays

Hubert Rady on 24th of December 2011

Peter Fincham did us all a favour by cutting your great
song. He has turned it into BIG NEWS, thereby ensuring that many millions are going to check it out on YouTube and will get to see it, not just the UK television audience.
Loved your New Statesman article too.

Katherine Wilkinson on 24th of December 2011

Tim! Your refreshing, clever and humourous Jesus Woody Allen song has made me damn proud to call you a fellow Perth – ite. Crazy to thing that Clive James etc had to go to London to pursure their art and now the UK media gets more in the way than any Australian cultural cringe hurlde – was even in the west today as you probably know ! Look forward to hearing more.

Christina on 24th of December 2011

Personally I think it is a disgrace that Mr Minchin was cut from Jonathan’s show. This song is so funny considering how quick he wrote it! Itv should be ashamed, they don’t even deserve to have Minchin on any of their shows.
Minchin is God.

Paul Flack on 24th of December 2011

Thank you Tim, I hope you have a lovely Christmas too

Tex on 24th of December 2011

You’re preaching to the converted darling. Love the song, you’re hysterical! And I love Wossy too.

Carol But Not A Christmas One on 24th of December 2011

Upon consideration, amidst controversy and tension, I find I’m not offended by Tim Minchin. I am a Jesus Person, (I thought that I should mention) but I’ve no wish to take part in a gang lynchin’. The only beef I have, as a Deaf head, slightly sad, is that your vids do not have words to see. But by reading of your face, and your lips so filled with grace, I can get by. Oh well, good enough… for me. Tim, I luv ya.

bobby cavanagh on 24th of December 2011

screw itv woodyalan jesuse was amazing i watch the jonathan ross show hopeing you would be on there because i missed ready for this last night and now i found out that they block you not many people a relguse any more well exept the amricans but what d they know ginger and everloution all the way

Kevin meilak on 24th of December 2011

Hi Tim, sorry to hear that you were cut, at the end of the day it is a sad indication of our PC neutered society that one man was too frightened for his job to play it!
Yes, you would have offended some (I personally found the zombie / vampire remarks uncomfortable) – but surely you should have the chance to offend!
We are supposed to be a liberal society, if you want to experience true sensorship, then write something about MOHAMMED! :-P
GOD BLESS, Kevin <

Melliodora on 24th of December 2011

I thought your tune was mild and really quite gentle on Jesus. If people find this offensive they probably find themselves outraged by most things in life – what a boring existence.

Steven on 24th of December 2011

Funny. I never watched the Jonathan Ross show so I might not have seen this if it never got cut. Then again, I down peruse the circles in which “NEW STUFF FROM TIM MINCHIN” does come up.

Cheers and Merry Christmas, Io Saturnalia and all that jazz.

Uzume on 24th of December 2011

I am so (fucking) annoyed at the censorship of a song just because it has ‘Jesus’ included in a non-traditional religious way. How (fucking) crap is that? The tripe they allow in a song (who said Rhianna?) which allows the mind-numbingly mundane, mediocre and……. (hmmmmm) mawkishness (alliterative re-sult) to pervade also oppresses the thought provoking and fun digs at what many people consider an over saturation of pap and power from the religious right. With the sad passing of Christopher Hitchens, we are one rational voice down and need to fight for the right to speak of atheistic matters with the same gusto, respect and freedom of those who believe in god, jesus, unicorns, pixies, whatever the fuck. I have no problem with religion, until it treads on my freedom to challenge with no recrimination…. then it is dangerous!

T Sharpe on 24th of December 2011

Really… People take so many things you do both out of context and literally, do they have no real imagination in this world the poor people, I would pray for them but that against my religion ):-) . Secretly hoping this is an ironic story but alas fear it is not. Well the real funny part is how far down this page I had to scroll to leave a message, you gotta love censorship and then the Internet to balance it out.

Merry Woody Allen Zombie Christmas ;)

Mel on 24th of December 2011

Personally I didn’t find your song offensive at all, but I can see why the powers that be on ITV got nervous about showing it. There are “some” people out there who would have had a right old rant if it had been aired…although (if he was alive and kicking today) I think the subject matter would have found it very amusing. Maybe you should write songs about Atheists, Agnostics, Buddhists etc. etc as well as Christians…could get an album out of it flower…I’d buy it!

Antonio Lozano on 24th of December 2011

You enlighten us (lacking a more appropriate term), Oh Prophet of the Atheists for the sake of humanity! (they don’t know yet, though). Keep on rockin’ and makin’ us laugh so much!

Damon on 24th of December 2011

Perhaps it was too soon after his death… I mean, it’s only been over 2000 years ;)

James Moon on 23rd of December 2011

“It’s certainly not very contentious”

Comparing Jesus Christ to a zombie? At at Christmas? LOL

That will offend some people. If it’s not in bad taste than it’s bad timing, perhaps? On balance I think your song was a little in bad taste.

It is a prime time tv show too. On Channel 4 at 11pm and I doubt it would cause a fuss, but on prime time ITV, can’t blame ITV for removing it. They don’t want to offend people even if it’s a tiny amount.

Alecia Jammes on 23rd of December 2011

What on Earth is up with these people, that was in no way offensive it was bloody fantastic and hilarious!!!! I think you are great!!

Tricia Bertram on 23rd of December 2011

Loved it. To cut this wonderful witty song is p c gone mad. So glad you posted it here. I’m off to itunes to purchase White Wine in the Sun. Thanks for the joy, laughter and comtemplation your work brings to me.

Crabbo on 23rd of December 2011

Very funny as per normal. Can’t bel….actually no i can beleive it was censored. I saw you on the advert couple of days ago so i tuned in for not much other than watching tom’s face and wondering how annoyed he really was at jonathan’s comments
complaint to pete fincham in the post

Dan McMichael on 23rd of December 2011

Enjoyed reading your bonus material! At the risk of hijacking my own credibility… I couldn’t help but be reminded of the South Park three part episode titled “Imagination Land”. The last one in particular culminates in a satirical discussion on whether the Imagination is real or not. Well worth watching if you haven’t already.

Merry Xmas and all that shiz x

Steve c on 23rd of December 2011

Excellent write up and excellent song…. Bollox to the pen pushing scared bigwigs at itv.

Bob Hawke on 23rd of December 2011

Well done Minchin you seized to the opportunity to expose Jesus as just another feeble looking Jew. In Australia Jews are very low profile and have to be as it was the largest Nazi safe haven in the world after the second world war not South America as most people believe. You have captured the true Australian spirit and humour in your songs.
It should not have been censored it captured the farce of the Jesus myth and the popular image of the contemporary Jew all in one . Now that you have expressed your feelings about Jews and Jesus can you be as blatant and daring about Islam during the Miranda festival.

Clare on 23rd of December 2011

I can’t understand why Itv cut this song. I love Tim’s work and find him very entertaining. I don’t think that this is his best song, however, given the circumstances that it was written, I think it was a great song for the show, particularly as it was the Christmas special.

Tim Minchin has always been very clear about his beliefs and has written numerous songs about them and so ITV should not have been surprised about the content of the song. If they were feeling a bit cagey they should not have asked Tim to partake in the show in the first place.

I say this all as a Christian. Although I have a different religious viewpoint to Tim I still find him very funny and entertaining. We do not live in a Christian state (although many would still like to believe that we do). We live in a multi-cultural society that contains many religious and secular viewpoints. Last time I checked we were also a country that advocated freedom of speech. Tim had every right to sing that song and for that song to be aired. If Christians had been offended by that song in any way then they would have the right to complain. It should not fall to one man to make the decision to cut it. No matter what your belief, we all need to stand up for the freedom of expression!

Great job Tim!

Martin Graham on 23rd of December 2011

…and it was very entertaining!!

Liz on 23rd of December 2011

Thank you! I love your comedy and your intelligence I adore your slant on life it’s joyous and makes me happy. And Peter Fincham is an arse I’ve Christian beliefs and I thought your song was fabulous … However my parents, my mother especially, staunch Christians and daily mail readers would have been horrified but in all honesty they wouldn’t have been watching Jonathan Ross’s show anyway. Also I think it’s good to shock especially the daily mail readers they are too far up they’re own arses.
Again thank you ! Love you!
PS. Violet sounds wonderful and I totally agree when a child asks a direct question you tell the truth … however I do tell my cynical 17 & 15 yr old sons at Christmas “those who believe receive … ” A bit of magic is needed sometimes. X

Danielwd on 23rd of December 2011

One of the comments in this vast sea of opinions, asks the question, “Why don’t you do a song about Mohammad.” The answer is obvious, you are high-profile and probably quite easy to track, and in the religious ideals of Islam, dying a martyr’s death is the ideal, so to kill you for insulting what I assume is some sort of savior, (I know quite little about Mohammed, seriously, I don’t even know what he looks like) would be very honourable for anyone who believes in that particular faith.
So basically the answer is “Because you would get fucking nutters chasing after you trying to kill you.” (I feel “nutters” is appropriate here because people who murder other people for their beliefs are just that)

You have however used a slightly less explosive way of using Islam in your comedy though, just to point out to the people who assume that your too scared to insult Islam, you have an absolutely lovely song called “Ten Foot Cock And A Few Hundred Virgins” The style of this song is a stereotypical reminder of the middle east, which is stereotypically where Muslims are. So you do quite clearly make the point.

Also, you’re a very talented man and I would like it if you were to carry on doing what you do. Have a lovely Christmas.

M Roberts on 23rd of December 2011

Genius. Pure Genius. Oh Fincham if everyone who knew you told the stories of you you’d be censured too. What a bore to us all.

Tim, didn’t particularly like you before. Now I think you are a genius.


Martin Graham on 23rd of December 2011

When it got to the slot on the show for your song…turned it off and watched ithe song online

Olivia Jacobs on 23rd of December 2011

Great song – as always. Amazing just how many people worldwide have heard it. Nice work. Merry Christmas O xx

chris on 23rd of December 2011

Oh my, I didn’t realize the BBC censors were from Texas.

Very funny and clever song.

Cath Lawson on 23rd of December 2011

Tim you say the song wasn’t original or contentious, but obviously on that score you were mistaken. I’ve just been reading about the 13 days Lenny Bruce was in Sydney in the early 60s and the ensuing shit storm his performance created. I commented to friends “Hey this horrid shit couldn’t happen in 2011/12. Glad those sad old, bad old days are over.” I also reviewed the Bill Hicks performance that was cut from Letterman, as well as Lettermans subsequent public apology to Mary Hicks. I wondered if that kind of mind numbing censorship of comedy could resurface now. I generally think in 2011 comedians are too soft cock to take on religion or the politics in any serious way, other than in bite sized portions that advertisers can chew on.
Then I open the Sydney Morning Herald to see you cut from Jonathon Ross. For fucks sake on the basis of a funny pisstake on Jesus, and it didn’t happen in the US, but in fucking London. To be honest I haven’t seen all that much of your performances or followed your career as a comedian/performer, but I do know deliberate censorship of satire when I see it and the price of that Tim is eternal vigilance.

Markus on 23rd of December 2011

Hi Tim,

I liked it a lot. I felt it was an hommage to Jesus. I watched it during one of the commercial breaks while Jonathan Ross was on. I thought that was somehow the right thing to do ;)

Phil Spivey on 23rd of December 2011

I have stopped watching the Jonathan Ross tonight as you were the only reason to tune in, pathetic the fact you can see your right shoulder and hair as they zoomed in on Cruise.

Brilliant performer and an incredibly intelligent song, it’s a shame the cowards at ITV won’t show it. Political correctness gone mad.

Keep up the good work Tim, you are a legend and we love you. Saw you on Royal Wedding day at the Hall and you were amazing.

David on 23rd of December 2011


Don’t let the idiots bring you down (especially at Xmas).

My wife and I though the song was hilarious, as I’m sure 99.99% (give or take) of the audience would and should never have been cut out by a man who appears to display the talents of a self preservation obsessed, scared little jobsworth……but the plus side is that only people that matter get censored (apart from raving loonies, but i’m sure that doesn’t include you….or me….unless it’s both…scary thought).

Anyway, thought I’d write and share my support.

I hope you and your family can move beyond this unnecessary slur and have a fantastic christmas.

Jon Rankin on 23rd of December 2011

Just found White Wine in the Sun recently and loved it.
this song should not have been censored from the show I will reward the producer: I will not now be watching the JR show.
I am beginning to think I now live in the Middle East where such attitudes are rife.

B. on 23rd of December 2011

Hi Tim… Royal Christmas Lecturer here
Bit by bit.
You’ll win in the end and be validated

Sam on 23rd of December 2011

Hey Kev, it seems that this might be a revelation to you, but you don’t need a religion to be ethical. People who can think for themselves, who have a strong moral code and who really do care about others and the sanctity of human life are often found among the ‘non believers’. These people have worked it out for themselves. Of course there are good people among believers, but too many humans use their own version of ‘God’ to justify bigotry and appalling behaviour. Isn’t it time in the 21st century we were advanced enough to realise this?

Ethics are important – hugely important – but come from the intelligence and hearts of men (= human race). This song was written by a good man – it’s a pity some people are heaping such vitriol on him because he wrote a light-hearted ‘alternative’ song, which actually says good things about Jesus, if only people would listen and not shut their ears in their outrage.

Leading an ethical life is something we should all try to do – without relying on the supernatural.

loulou on 23rd of December 2011

as always very funny!! i was really dissapointed when i realised this wasn’t on tonight…. I for one see this as our next big christmas anthem!

much love Mr Minchin..

and keep em coming

Matt on 23rd of December 2011

I enjoyed the clip – you sold it short, Tim.

I am convinced that far more people will see it now – it’s news!

Its your take on Jesus. No drama – many people will agree.

I guess the issue is that when we censor this view, we also ensure that edgy prophetic and profound Christian views are not aired. Just a nice Jesus – a bland, inoffensive, Kenny Rogers style Jesus.

Your not-so-secret fantasy to BE Jesus, Tim is actually what this is about. You actually acknowledge that – clearly he was one who challenged the pappy middle-of-the-road PC view of his contemporaries.

Go on. I’m glad you acknowledge Dawkins as a great biologist. I think he is also. But he’s a shit philosopher – don’t get confused.

In short, Tim. I liked your clip – and I’m an ordained minister of the Anglican church.

Jane Fosbrook on 23rd of December 2011

BRILLIANT song. Will boycott ITV for the rest of Christmas, well, ever actually. I think we all know where Jonathan Ross really stands re free speech now. Sad people. Loved you at Green Man Festival and the Comedy Prom. So refreshing to see such real musical and comic talent and not just an inflated ego. Will make sure my now infant grandchildren hear it as much as Away in a Manger in years to come!

Kev on 23rd of December 2011

“Kev, I know you won’t see this way down here, but I thought it needed to be said that atheists – not even those like Richard Dawkins – ‘shove’ non-belief “down other people’s throats”.

I did see it, Peta, thanks for your comments. It’s good to discuss these issues.

No-one has a right to force their views on others, whether secular or religious. When religious people try to do this, they are regarded as fanatics, but when scientists and atheists do it, it’s the voice of reason. Somewhat double standards, do you agree?

Fanaticism is not welcome, whichever side of the fence you are on.

I do take your point about horrible things being done to others in the name of religion, this is completely wrong of course and shows that those people are not religious as the purpose of religion is to give peace and happiness. Science is also capable of atrocities, such as nuclear, biological and chemical weapons. Take for example the recent experiments to make bird flu into a highly infectious weapon – isn’t this highly irresponsible? There is now a danger that the experiments will now be published for any political fanatic to create a terrifying weapon to use on society. Such horrors cannot be visited on others by religion but irreversible dangers exist because of nuclear physics (I have a degree in physics), genetic engineering and so forth. These are scary times because it seems that our collective wisdom is not developing as quickly as our technological advances. There is a danger of making science our ‘God’ and not questioning the ethics of these activities.

Dave Henniker on 23rd of December 2011

Thankyou. That’s all. Just thankyou.

lilly on 23rd of December 2011

Everything makes sense now. Tim Minchin is God! how beautifully ironic.

JS on 23rd of December 2011

Shocked by the amount of people who have a lack of respect for people who have a faith, and the aggression which so many people have used in a response to this song. In today’s modern society you think people would be through trying to burn Christians at the stake.

Some people believe different to you guys, stop being so intimidated by that, and maybe try accepting people for what they believe.

Respect to Peter for having the guts to pull the song.

David on 23rd of December 2011

I find it very odd that ITV has cut a song about Jesus from one of its Christmas specials. I mean, what did they think you were going to sing about?

Christians are used to getting things censored because someone ‘might be offended’, and the song is pretty tame compared to some of the stuff that’s been on TV (Jerry Springer: the Opera, for example). I wish we could be a bit more grown up about this. I’m guessing they won’t commission you to write a song about Mohammed any time soon.

Roger Newman on 23rd of December 2011

An excellent song with classic intellectual lyrics as always. If viewers don’t like it – turn the fucking TV off!! Or just say, “I don’t like this.” and leave it there.
ITV producers need to see the bigger picture – there’s more to TV than them, there are the viewers with open minds who can see Tim Minchin comedy for what it is – COMEDY. Your live shows are fantastic, and the producers know that, hence the reason why they invited you to write the song.
A great song – who needs Jonathon Ross?

Alison Damiano on 23rd of December 2011

watched the clip. not offended, just entertained. It made me laugh and I think that’s the idea of comedy. Please keep making me laugh out loud Tim and let’s not worry too much about the easy to upset brigade.

Laura on 23rd of December 2011

What else where they expecting when they invited you on the show ? Really pleased that it has been rescued so that we can all view !!

Keep it coming, I always look forward to seeing new work from you.

I watched your show on tv last night and your christmas song about your daughter was beautiful !

Tina on 23rd of December 2011

I would just like to point out that athiests get similar reactions from christians: sighing, mild embarrassment and (not always) patient education. I and a lot of my friends who are athiests have listened to many sighs and frustratuons from christians. So surely athiests have the right to feel the same?

Martin McCarthy on 23rd of December 2011

“The appropriate reaction to people who think Jesus is a supernatural being is mild embarrassment, sighing tolerance and patient education.”

Oh dear. Now that’s cringe-worthy. I’m atheist but got over myself around the age of 21. I respectfully suggest you should think about doing the same.

And maybe have a little similar pop at Muhammad if you have the courage of your convictions. Maybe a whole show or album of equal opportunity blasphemy: Now! That’s What I Call Blasphemy 1

I’ve enjoyed your comedy to date and will again I’m sure whenever it’s on TV. I’d just prefer if people like my parents weren’t ridiculed by people who think they know better or people who know better or people who should know better.

Peace and happy Christmas to one and all.

Catherine Johnson on 23rd of December 2011

I believe it is time for a UK poll to find out just how many believers and how many atheists there are.
I believe……………………..
that there would be far more of us atheists around.
Keep at it Tim. You’ll have far more viewers on You Tube anyway.

PaulC on 23rd of December 2011

I suppose it’s a bit too late to get this to No.1 in place of X-Factor fluff.

I think the best thing to do is to share the hell out of this on Facebook etc. and get more youtube hits than people watching the Jonathan Ross show. That’ll learn ’em.

Youtube link:

Smartcat on 23rd of December 2011

Tim Minchin,

I think it is the Mary part that got these Christians jumping. People have been making jokes about jesus – Openly, but not on Mary(although any clear minded people who have not bought into the religion would have figured out what really happened. When comes to the juicy bit on Mary and poor Joseph, nope not many in my memory that people brought out to talk about … only heard once in Bill Maher’s talk show.

Anyway well done. Keep it up.
Like you and like all your performances.

stopstopstop on 23rd of December 2011

@Craig, if I may direct you to YouTube to search for the keywords ‘Dara O’Briain Why I Don’t Do Jokes About Muslims.’ I’m pretty sure Tim would have similar defence.

Sarah Kelly on 23rd of December 2011

How extremely narrow-minded of ITV. Obviously protecting JR from any more ‘controversy’. This is hilarious, don’t stop!

devulgari on 23rd of December 2011

I am disappointed as well. I really enjoyed this song.

I do have one quibble with the paragraphs preceding the video, though– which, I’m aware, were clearly written during a time of some duress.

“The appropriate reaction to people who think Jesus is a supernatural being is mild embarrassment, sighing tolerance and patient education.”

That’s the tack a lot of Christians take with atheists– or it’s the tack they think they take, that they claim to take, while atheists discuss amongst themselves being condescended to, prayed for, or treated with embarrassment and bewilderment by their families and friends. Why can’t it just be tolerance, full stop, followed by “And anger when they’re being bigots?” And satire, of course. Satire, I would argue, is the best form of patient education.

It’s just a thought– though I am not a Christian I would not, myself, presume to gently educate faith out of the gentle and kind people that I am lucky enough to be surrounded by this Christmas, just as they don’t attempt any education on me, unless they consider their gentle example as education. Which is fine– I enjoy a good candlelit service as much as the next heathen.

All that being said– I really am so sorry. From my perspective your/Tim’s personal successes have been so immense over the last few years, but that wouldn’t make the personal and political blow of this deletion from the show any less, I imagine.

Leon on 23rd of December 2011

Ok so we all know that you like promoting your left ideology, religious-political views etc … But this makes no sense at all, why would you even attempt to make fun of Jesus especially during Christmas??? What next a minchin looney tune of mohammed during ramadan?!

DoctorDee on 23rd of December 2011

That song could quite probably have definitely made me into a Christian. But now I’ll never see it I will be damned to remain heathen. Curse you ITV, I wanted my place in paradise.

hyperdeath on 23rd of December 2011

You know what sucks Craig? Angry little men who throw tantrums from behind their keyboard, and argue from a position of complete ignorance. Try looking up the song “Ten Foot Cock And A Few Hundred Virgins”, and then think carefully about what a silly little boy you’ve been.

N Baker on 23rd of December 2011

I hope this is released so I can buy a copy. My sons and I laughed until tears came to our eyes. I’ve been a big fan of yours since I saw you at the first TAM UK two years ago.

hyperdeath on 23rd of December 2011

Caspar Last, was that parody, or are you just very very stupid? Try looking up the song “Ten Foot Cock And A Few Hundred Virgins”.

Craig on 23rd of December 2011

You know what sucks Tim? You wouldn’t have the balls to bag out the Prophet (fair’s fair right?) Momo but Jesus and Christians? You could do that all day long. You’re a fucking hypocrite. Contemporary Art/artists, those that dabble in expression of ideas (in whatever form) regurgitate boring jokes on Christianity. That’s a safe bet to get a laugh out of smug white folks. But then what the fuck are you about anyway? Got something to say? At least be original bro.

Disclaimer part. I’m not Christian, not religious and I don’t hate Muslims. But if you’re going to pay out religion, ‘God’, at least be equal opportunity about it. Let’s see some satire on Islam then. It’s still 2011…

MArt on 23rd of December 2011

It seems to me that it wasn’t cut from the show because it would be offensive to viewers, but because some high powered exec took personal offense. I find his decision offensive and will strive to ignore every piece of middle of the road crap he ever works on again.

anne on 23rd of December 2011

i have expressed my views to itv this was the only bit of telly i was looking forward to apart from the kings speech. absolutely disgusted at the lack of guts.

TC on 23rd of December 2011

While I think ITV’s decision was silly and I agree with Tim’s commentary, could a comedian write a song ridiculing (even in a nice way) Mohammad, or Islam and have it broadcast on British TV? Would Tim write a song ridiculing Mohammad or Islam? If no why not? If you can’t ridicule one religion, why not all? It has to be the same rule.

Dot McQueen on 23rd of December 2011

soft stuff.where’s the problem?

ruth on 23rd of December 2011

i heard you perform the jesus song at uncaged monkeys in brighton last thursday and thought it was very funny. I agree wholeheartedly with your comments about people who think j is a supernatural being & comedy and think it is quite disgusting and very disappointing that the song was pulled from the show

play on….

btw, I didn’t know of you before brighton (don’t watch too much tv, and have obviously not being paying much attention to R4!) but am now an instant fan and, were there time, would put your cds on my christmas list!

Anita on 23rd of December 2011

Speaking as a bit of a Jesus fan and also a massive Tim Minchin fan, although it’s not one of your all-time best songs, it’s bloody good and you can do no wrong as far as I’m concerned!

SammySatine on 23rd of December 2011


I watched the video of your song which you put up and have read the above.

The song is great. It’s exactly what it was meant to be and a great Christmas treat for us fans. I think ITV’s decision to cut the song from the show was disappointing. Would have been nice to see it on my TV instead of on the internet, though I am grateful I got to see it at all. So Thankyou.

I loved your article for The Statesman too and your post above. Eloquent as always. You never seem to waste words. I also love the depth and the thought you put into all your songs and your writings both online and in print.

Merry Christmas and a happy 2012 to you and the family. Hope you are better soon.

See you in February!

Much love and hugs.



Blulu on 23rd of December 2011

Oh Tim-Tim, what have you done now? Said while wiping tears of laughter away. You shouldn’t be angry with them over this. Take it as the compliment it is. They can’t quite handle you yet, which is super-cool, it is because you are innovative, and your songs are so challenging. To me you are quite simply the new Tom Lehrer – and I can’t offer more praise than that. My fave song of yours so far is the song for peace in the middle east – hey that almost rhymes. Hope all this stuff wins you the publicity you deserve – in a good way, and can’t wait to see what you write next. Best wishes. Louise

Berick Tomes on 23rd of December 2011

Hey its not all bad. I’d have never watched the Jonathan Ross show anyway. And somehow, I’d managed to never hear of Tim Minchin… (which says a lot more about my sad lonely solitary isolation than it does about his appeal)

How have I missed this guy. He is a genius. I love this, and and spent most of the last few hours watching his other stuff on youtube (and no kittens).

That DVD is coming my way, as will tickets for the London Show once payday permits. Thank you anally retentive LWTV execs, you’ve brought a little joy into at least one life.

Steve Lewis on 23rd of December 2011

A brilliant bit of work my man – without doubt the hardest Ive laffed at Xmas for a long time.

Also gutted that “the normal” viewing people” wont get to see it on the Woss show.

Its spread all over the net tho and will be bigger for it being cut no doubt.

Too many people are worried about offending each other these days. The British have always had a sense of humor about religion otherwise how would we get Father Ted, Vicar of Dibley? Pythons best stuff or any other thing.

These days tho its getting scary how some are trying to reaffirm ANY religious belief as demanding respect at all costs.

You are just too clever and too close to the truth for the people who are worried we wont take Religion seriously.

Why should we?

I hope for irony that your song is played in churches over Xmas throughout the country and the world then added to the list of songs we are forced to listen to every year while shopping.

Please release as Xmas single and give the proceeds to the Church if you have to – download on itunes? or free.

THAT would be funny

Keep on rocking and dont let the bastards get you down..

Catherine on 23rd of December 2011

Definitely time for a Peter Fincham song wouldn’t you agree?!

Paul Jorgensen on 23rd of December 2011

I hadn’t seen you until watching this, knew your name but that’s it. Amusing song and in my opinion anodyne (in the nicest possible way) so if the deluded were to be upset by it then that’s their choice. We don’t have a Taliban in the UK so censoring you seems an over-reaction.

John Dewhurst on 23rd of December 2011

Could be the making of you, Tim. The Pope might issue the catholic version of a fatwa against you. Look what the Ayotollah did for Salman Rushdie’s career. The down side is that you’ll be living at secret locations for the next 30 years! All the best, don’t let the buggers grinfd you down.

RobS on 23rd of December 2011

You know, the worst part about all these commenters saying, “I can’t wait to hear Mr. Clever Britches do a song about Mohammed, and sing it in Iran…[wink,wink]” is that they seem oblivious to the implication: They are tacitly agreeing that death for commenting on another’s holy book is a legitimate punishment, while at the same time being unwilling to act on that belief themselves!

It’s like the Christians who make such comments are willfully sub-contracting the murders they wish they had the nerve to commit, to the Muslims.

The sad, sad takeaway here? Given the choice between siding with an atheist’s right to express an opinion, and a Muslims “right” to enforce blasphemy punishment, up to and including murder… the Christians here choose to side with the murderers. Believers stick together, pinch their noses and agree that, as much as they hate each other, “we really can’t let those who disagree with BOTH our faiths get any traction!”

Goocha on 23rd of December 2011

Thanks Tim, that song made my Christmas. Particularly happy with the Dawn of the Dead reference. Nice job!

Frown on 23rd of December 2011

Great work and sound thinking, don’t stop.

James Austin on 23rd of December 2011

*sigh* I just love the “You wouldn’t do it to the muslims” arguments people start throwing about any time someone insults the anglicans and it’s assumed that they only insult the church that hasn’t yet introduced Eddie Izzard’s “Cake or death?” punishment system due to fear of reprisal.

Between “10 foot cock and a few hundred virgins” and the Koran/Harry Potter speech from the recent orchestral tour (I’ve only seen the sydney live broadcast one so far, so I assume that well thought out use of props made it to the dvd version) I’m amazed Tim hasn’t got a bunch of fatwahs on his head already.

Even Kevin Smith pulls his punches when islam is concerned because of fear of reprisals against his family (this is his stated reason why he hasn’t made a sequel to Dogma, as he knew he couldn’t do it without getting islam involved) yet Tim has gone out specifically picking a fight with these folks multiple times, on top of his general commentary about religion that isn’t specific to one form.

Mike Lambert on 23rd of December 2011

Think of it this way, like many other people, until you were censored I had never seen you. Now, you have a legion of new fans.

Peter Catleugh on 23rd of December 2011

I loved the song! Keep up the good work man!

David Williams on 23rd of December 2011

I like Jonathan Ross about 95% of the time. I find his challenging of stereotypes quite amusing , but we have to remember that he was sacked by the BBC while he was the highest paid man on TV for colluding with Russel Brand in some unpleasant radio antics. While on JR’s Radio 2 show they made a jokey phone call that became a disturbing phone call to Andrew Sachs (Manuel from Faulty Towers). They got his answer machine and proceeded to make more and more wildly unpleasant remarks including Russel Brand telling the world that he had had sex with Andrew Sachs’s granddaughter.
Jonathan was suspended and didn’t appear on TV for quite a while. People in senior positions in the BBC are very nervous of guests on his shows causing offence and maybe that’s why the song was pulled.

quintin pink on 23rd of December 2011

– Pity it’s been cut though, so people can’t judge for themselves

liss on 23rd of December 2011

I was at the hammersmith gig when this was performed live. I like the majority of the audience fell about laughing at what i consider to be a very funny, very silly, harmless song. I’ve been singing it none stop with my house mate who also went to hammersmith and frankly think its a disgrace its being cut just to pander to 9 thick daily mail reading, gout ridden, imbred, fundamentalist, Tory…glad you’ve posted it sir, I’ll certainly be singing it this christmas

quintin pink on 23rd of December 2011

Sadly Tim it’s not that funny – I mean funny/humorous, like eg Bill Bailey or Frankie Boyle – who are both funny/weird/outrageous and humorous – whereas you’re just a bit … weird – you’re trying too hard and you’ve not got it – it’s a bit embarrassing, I’m afraid. Sorry, you’re not the big comedy hero you would like too be.

P.A.C. on 23rd of December 2011

When is he going to prove he is a real cutting-edge entity and sing about Mohammed in Iran?

Surely he is not just trying to be crass and shocking but has something original to say.

Sean Jeffery on 23rd of December 2011

It’s ridiculous that in the 21st Century this song has been censored.
BTW, just left posted a comment about my band (Hitchhiker) on your Facebook page – thought you might find us worth listening to as I write a lot about the whole science / religion debate but, hey, apologies if it wasn’t appreciated.

John Blakely on 23rd of December 2011

That’s a great song! i.e. tune, lyrics and piano finger work :-)) What more could an audience want? Obviously ITV disagree. No such thing as bad publicity though, just a pity the majority of the great unwashed won’t get to see it :-(

NorthernJim on 23rd of December 2011

So, there I was just thinking things about the Universe,
Of how the plight of humankind has gone from bad to worse.
I’m feeling sort of lonely here, my confidence is low,
My self-belief is waning too, perhaps it’s time to go.
And then I hear from Hawking,
A fact that makes me weary;
Omnipotence and Grand Design’s been ousted by M-Theory.
And what along with Dawkings,
Who says I’m a delusion,
I find that I just can’t escape the natural conclusion.
It’s time for Me to exit, hang up my lightning rod.
It’s up to you to sort it out,
I’ve had enough …

Bye … God.
X : )

Clancy on 23rd of December 2011

Copy posted on youtube, torrent created and going live tomorrow (when I can seed for a good few days non-stop). Rest assured tim, the tech-geeks have your back

Rex wade on 23rd of December 2011

Nice one Tim your right “the worlds gone mad” great song, shame about the jobs worth ITV not showing it!! Its only a matter of time till ITV start calling it “The Holidays” as not to upset someone!! :-(

Gaz on 23rd of December 2011

I’m so sad to hear this was cut, it was a really tongue-in-cheek bit of humor and I for one enjoyed it.

amanda on 23rd of December 2011

Pure genius! I would much rather hear that as piped music in the shops over the festive period instead of the bland drivel that gets repeated every year …

woody allen jesus « Crutch Of The Weak on 23rd of December 2011

[…] information here on the horrible thing that happened to the artist. Video   Humor, religion      Free Home value estimations » […]

Sam on 23rd of December 2011

Anyone who says you haven’t done material on other religions clearly hasn’t listened to the whole range of your work. People should make sure they are well informed before they criticise. Typical! This is a magical song, which I have to admit, has the younger members of our family in stitches. In fact, our son is threatening to sing it to the gathered throng at Christmas lunch…. It is such a shame that in our ‘modern, free spoken society’ censorship like this still reigns. I know the Brits have been good to you, Tim, but I hope you can put this all behind you. We are waiting for you out here in Oz for your New Year tour. You will be warmly welcomed back here at ‘home’. Have a great Christmas and try not to stress out too much about all of this. It is quite clear that many people support you and your intelligent, fresh approach.

Crys on 23rd of December 2011

I will definitely be mirroring this tomorrow. Hilarious song!

Paul Pearson on 23rd of December 2011

Brilliant! Nuff said?

Lucy on 23rd of December 2011

Ahh I Iove this! It’s just a bit of harmless fun and I can’t belive this ridiculous over reaction. I was really looking forward to seeing Tim on Jonathan Ross, but I have no reason to watch now this has been cut – guttered!
The British sense of humour (or lack of!) astounds me sometimes!
Merry Christmas xx

Jennifer Bridge on 23rd of December 2011

“sighing tolerance and patient education” probably describes how Christians think about your certainty that there isn’t anything after death. Surely the only true position is agnostic? None of us really know.

Thanks for posting this. I stopped watching Jonathan Ross after the Andrew Sachs saga.

Marilyn on 23rd of December 2011

I listened to your song and I thought that it was really original, funny and harmless. I totally agree with all that you’ve said. Have a great Christmas and a wonderful 2012!

Tim Sutton on 23rd of December 2011

Well crafted and well performed and, unlike a lot of Christmas ITV entertainment, mildly thought provoking. Perhaps Peter Fincham wants us all to live in his little world of Downton Abbey where everything is so safe. Very poor decision.

Dan Daley on 23rd of December 2011

Hi don’t know if Tim reads these or not but just wanted to say what a bunch of dicks, I shall not be watching Jonathan Ross, because of this and in my opinion the Peter Fincham’s of this world are already a bunch of cultists so when is the suicide punch arriving

Jim Spriggs on 23rd of December 2011

For me the most interesting part of your post is the use of the word ‘Brits’, have you had your birth certificate altered? Is there a huge hole by junction 15A of the M1 where Northampton used to be?

Why didn’t you cut to the chase and post the song directly on here and not bother with the awful ITV and woeful Ross?

A Merry Christmas from everyone in Northampton.

bobette on 23rd of December 2011

Well, i, like many others, don’t watch Jonathan Ross, so paradoxically, the censorship of your piece as in fact probably brought it to a much wider audience that it would have otherwise reached.

A Hymn to Jesus (WoodyAllenJESUS) « Vridar on 23rd of December 2011

[…] But do read Tim Minchin’s own take on his experience in producing this song @ I’m Not On The Jonathan Ross Show. […]

Steve on 23rd of December 2011

Will we be hearing an amusing item about Allah to fit in with Ramadan? My guess is no. Until people have the guts to poke fun at every religion they shouldn’t get heap laughs by poking fun at a religion who’s followers don’t take action against those who do.

Ray Brown on 23rd of December 2011

Fantastic song that, ITVs loss.

Sam on 23rd of December 2011

Terrible decision to cut this! How did such a weak-willed, sniveling, idiot-apologist get such a high-paid job, which has used to exact his spineless agenda of editing out mild controversy. I’m pretty sure he also sits there editing out Jonathan Ross’s farts, in case they also cause a stink…

MattW on 23rd of December 2011

“we felt that the song didn’t quite work editorially”

If that were true, which it isn’t, but if it were, doesn’t that make the editorial team a bunch of idiots? Given that they already knew the song prior to shooting, and being (presumably) experienced in the art of editing, you’d expect that they’d have some idea of how the whole thing would work, editorially.

Good job it’s not true then really.

Tim Purdon on 23rd of December 2011

Clever song. Funny? Not to me. Then of course while some can doubt the existence of God or Jesus I can freely chose that which I find funny. I don’t need to be shocked out of my comfort zone to be amused. There is a lot of clever humour that does not rely on shock for effect. As a Christian I have my doubts so I cannot question others. What I do find interesting is that when Jesus only ever preached love and forgiveness and then died a horrific death,some of us deride the whole concept and resent Jesus. Why? Why is Jesus so frightening? I will be a Tim Minchin fan when you use your undoubted talents more constructively.

Kimberley Shorley on 23rd of December 2011

Dear Tim, watched the clip and yes it was good, and as a Christian I am not offended. But after watching your Ready for this? on E4 thought your I Like Christmas was much better and really sums up the thoughts of Christians and non alike: that love is the best gift of all. (You can look that up in a Good Book too John 3:16)
Hope you and all your family have a wonderful Christmas!

Steven Boyd on 23rd of December 2011

World has gone mad! Genius as always Tim. Merry Christmas to you and your family

Simon Williams (@greatbigbadger) on 23rd of December 2011

Complained to viewer [email protected]. Received this reply:

Dear Mr Williams

Thank you for your recent email regarding The Jonathan Ross Show.

I can confirm that your comments have been noted here at ITV Viewer Services.

We often make changes to programmes before transmission and on this occasion we felt that the song didn’t quite work editorially

May I take this opportunity to thank you for taking the time to contact us here at ITV Viewer Services.

If we can be of further assistance please do not hesitate to contact us.

Kind regards

ITV Viewer Services

so replied:

Hi Ann,

If you call the intervention of a senior manager in the content of an individual program an editorial decision, then there’s something wrong with the independence of the editorial team. It’s a bit like James or Rupert Murdoch spiking a guest column in the Times by Jonathan Porritt, because it extolled the virtues of wind farms. An intervention which, to give them their due, they’ve never made.


Simon Williams

chris lucy on 23rd of December 2011

You gotta love t’internet….

nice little piece of comedy that will now be seen, discussed and elevated as a consequence of ITV’s decision to cut it from the show! Genius.

You oughta send an email to Peter Fincham thanking him for this opportunity…

Suzie Scott-Wilson on 23rd of December 2011

Brilliant! Don’t ever change x

Bruce Nelson on 23rd of December 2011

Dear Tim Minchin,
I have just finished watching your show with the SSO.
It has been a highlight of my Christmas, so,
I have endevoured to capture
With an element of rapture
The spirit that you enlist
Without a publicist?
Your message so ably put
Without your mouth avec foot.
In my Christmas message to all
I am, dear sir, enthralled.

Thank you.
Happy Christmas to you and your family.
Bruce Nelson

David on 23rd of December 2011

Inspired by the chap above I wrote this to [email protected]

Dear Sir or Madam,

I’m writing to protest that the Tim Minchin performance was cut from the Jonathan Ross show. It may have been a valid commercial decision but I think that it was a weak editorial choice. The comedy I most value is that which provokes thought and which nudges us to question our orthodox views. I’m genuinely surprised that there is no place for challenging comedy on the Jonathan Ross show. I have regularly watched Jonathan Ross but regrettably I’m much less likely to do so now that I know how safe you’ll be playing it.

Kind Regards and Season’s Greetings

Keith Taylor on 23rd of December 2011

As always, Tim, your performance was funny, smart and adorably cheeky. It’s a shame the song was cut but, as I’m stuck a few thousand miles from home this Christmas and couldn’t catch the show anyway, I’m glad I got to see it from your upload on YouTube.

Merry Christmas, best wishes to you and your family, and keep up the good (fantastic, hilarious, perfect and heart-warmingly lovable) work.

Sarah B on 23rd of December 2011

Oh for goodness sake. I’m a Christian and I fucking loved that! It was informed, witty, beautifully articulate and didn’t say that anything was or wasn’t true. Such a shame that was pulled, Tim, but trust that your fans will still love you and eventually ITV will grow some halls and air harmless content like this without a second thought. Until then, keep doing what you’re doing!

Stefan Isendahl on 23rd of December 2011

A lovely song and a love piece of writing above – now I feel even more privileged to have seen you perform it live.
I can’t remember if it was one of the guys at Uncaged Monkeys of Nine Lessons who said that a good was to deal with religionists is just to feign ignorance of their bizarre “beliefs” thus forcing them to explain them OUT LOUD – some comedy just writes itself.

Jules on 23rd of December 2011

Tim, what a beautifully written, succinctly put piece. It is sad that this sort of censorship is not only accepted but expected by the Daily Mail-ites and their ilk. I can imagine how stung you felt upon hearing that something about which you have fervent beliefs and had found seemingly non existent time to create, had been cut. I’m sure you’ll never read this; that makes me sad. It is your moral integrity as much as your talent for which I, and so so so many others are grateful. You (fucking) rock. Have a great Christmas.

Anna on 23rd of December 2011

I’m a Christian, I believe in Jesus being a supernatural being (as well as being human), I didn’t find this offensive… sorry? Does it make it easier for you Tim if I do ;)

Karen Hurley on 23rd of December 2011

I really like it Tim, and as Christian I am not offended at all. Very clever, and how you managed not to trip up over those lyrics at the end I don’t know! But.. It is spiderman and not superman I think your talking about ;)

sue barden on 23rd of December 2011

I think this is just another example of the dumbing down which seems to be infecting all the independent TV channels. Tim is probably to intelligent to fit into ITV’s mission to not upset anybody, which is impossible. Thanks so much for the song though.

Phil on 23rd of December 2011


The song is fine. God came to me in a dream last night and said he thought it was good.

We can relax and be happy, and enjoy the divinely created wit that is embodied in His work here (Tim Minchin was also made in His image).

On a separate, but perhaps related point, God also happened to mention that He doesn’t exist. Such is my faith, I feel obliged to take Him at His word.

Bugger: don’t know what to do instead of church on Sunday now. I am considering worshipping Peter Fincham: He seems to have a great moral framework that we should all aspire to share.

MB on 23rd of December 2011

Excellent, shame they aren’t going to show this. Small minded idiots.

Sarah on 23rd of December 2011

I loved it :) Merry Christmas to you and your family. :) Pity the TV Execs are too afraid of complaints and lawsuits when someone satires a fictional character, it would have been a great show! xx Sarah

Rusty on 23rd of December 2011

Thanks Tim – great piece of comedy and I really enjoyed your thoughts on the cutting of the song. Extremely well put and fair by you I would say! I also very much enjoyed your Dawkins edited article on Santa!

ITV have seriously lost the plot is all I can really say!

I was at my son’s Christmas play/presentation thing at his primary school on Tuesday. Funnily, I was mildly offended by the non-stop barrage of “baby Jesus” Christian mythology that was being rammed down the audiences throat (and therefore the kids at school). Each to their own and all that, but I was very disappointed with the force-feeding of an imaginary friend to the kids – it’s just plain dishonest – an no, he is not at a “public” faith school, he is at the local council primary school here in Scotland.

Like your description of your daughter, my son is rather practical in his approach to things. When he was 7, after a series of pre-Christmas Christianity lessons, we were on the bus, and to the great mirth of an old fella sitting behind us, he was contemplating the deeper meaning of religion and whether it was “real”. All by himself, he came to the conclusion that “it must be real, because why would there be so many and things if it wasn’t?”.

I guess my point is that both my wife and I left the school Christmas performance having endured an hour of preachy shit and feeling mildly pissed off. Your comment about “mild embarrassment, sighing tolerance and patient education” really hit the mark mate!

Keep up the good work – have a great festive period!


Phil on 23rd of December 2011

I think it’s probably about time for a Peter Fincham song… : )

JRD on 23rd of December 2011

Excellent work.

What has Jesus got to do with Christmas anyway? If it was about Santa Claus, I could understand why a lot of people would be offended. Santa brings joy to millions every year. What has Jesus done for the past twenty centuries? He is therefore ripe for ridicule, the slacker. With all those powers as well.

Ann s on 23rd of December 2011

Woody Allen Jesus
Wonderful thanks for your openess and honesty!
From Melbourne just booked to see u in adel no tickets here ;) meeerrry Xmas x

the kidd on 23rd of December 2011

Anyone who bothers to look into Mr Minchin’s back catalogue will discover that actually, he has done quite a bit on the Koran and Islam… but maybe it wasn’t exactly seasonally in-keeping with, y’know, CHRISTMAS. If someone is offended by Tim’s work then they should ask their deity of choice to strike him down with a nice lightning bolt or something. And if that doesn’t happen then either god doesn’t really care about a daft/funny song or he doesn’t exist.

Jingle Balls | Fox Tales on 23rd of December 2011

[…] Tim Minchin recorded a song on the Jonathan Woss show this week but it was culled before broadcast because it might offend some supernaturalists. If they’d cut it because it’s not a particularly good song – at least by Minchin’s standards – that would have been reasonable. And, given it was cross-examined word by word before he was allowed to perform it, why not cut it then, rather than letting him sing it – and then blog about them cutting it? Duh. […]

James Steven on 23rd of December 2011

Hi Tim,

First at foremost I am a Christian.

Can I start by congratulating you on a very witty and enjoyable song.

While I applaud your work I cannot welcome the timing of it.

Whilst not being offended by the song – I think having it aired days before millions of believers like myself will be celebrating the birth of someone we believe changed the world for all the right reasons, was wrong.

I welcome the decision by ITV to remove the song but think you are perfectly within your rights to put it on your website for those who will appreciate it to see.

Your comments about people having a right not to be challenged – I personally don’t think are fair.

Many Christians welcome debate and actually enjoy the banter thrown at us by non believers.

What we do ask though is in return you respect our right to celebrate one of the most important days in our calender.

I do enjoy your work and would encourage you to keep pushing boundaries but getting that right balance of not actively looking to offend.

I look forward (tongue in cheek) to the next song bening about the Prophet Mohammed during Ramadan!

Phil Kingsbury on 23rd of December 2011

TPTB @ ITV need to grow some balls. You should have offered them the Pope song as an alternative.

Andy on 23rd of December 2011

I don’t think I would have heard about this awesome song if ITV hadn’t dropped it.

Andy on 23rd of December 2011

Really harsh the TV Nazi’s have cut your song after you’ve been good enough to put all the hard work into writing it. Shame on them! keep up the great work

Benjamin L. on 23rd of December 2011

Dear Tim,

Thank you very much for making this heartwarming christmas song available. I thoroughly enjoyed it and I think it will stand the test of time as classic christmas song alongside “Last Christmas” and “Do they know it’s christmas time”.

I wish you a merry christmas and I am looking forward to you bringing me my presents this year (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christkind)

All the best


Colin Bown on 23rd of December 2011

Another great comedian – Bill Hicks – had his ‘set’ pulled by faceless executives afraid of any chance the material would have the remotest affect on their precious advertising income – suckers of satan’s cock (his description) .
Bill’s material didn’t have the luxury of being aired – tapes are still ‘missing’ – whereas Tim’s material will reach far further than the few million nervous viewers of a talk show hosted by an over-the-hill personality.

Charlie on 23rd of December 2011

Hi, I am catholic, not radical mad etc… Just like it! I am also a scientist- biochemistry… I love this song, in fact as one of the very people you could be offending, I’m not in the slightest offended it’s hilarious! Happy Christmas x

Tom on 23rd of December 2011

Love it Tim. Stupid ITV man.

James Roper on 23rd of December 2011

You get mildly embarrassed when I say I think Jesus is a supernatural being? I apologise for any embarrassment I’ve caused, it was entirely unintended. That aside, I thought it was a very funny act and am very disappointed that they cut it. I reckon Jesus would have found it funny too. And if he didn’t, God certainly doesn’t need my help to defend himself.

Simon on 23rd of December 2011

I’ve just read this entire piece Tim. The good news is you can freely say this here and point out the absurdity. The second bit of good news is that it’s still gone out anyway. Viva l’ Internet…

I really like what you’ve had to say here. I like the fact that you have calmly and collectedly written about it, combing through thoroughly.

Thanks so much for your insights. Have a good Christmas.

Craig on 23rd of December 2011

Tim, we saw this in Brighton last week or so. It was great. Fuck ITV.

Barry Swayn on 23rd of December 2011

Brilliant, so was Tom Waits “Chocolate Jesus”, Tim is hugely clever, just like Jesus was, all those years ago and we’re still spending time singing about him?
Oh I don’t believe in GOD unless it’s delivered with an Oh My.

Tim Minchin song cut from Jonathan Ross show: 'silly, harmless' lyric comparing Jesus to Woody Allen on 23rd of December 2011

[…] to Woody Allen Jesus." "It's not a particularly original idea, but it's quite cute," wrote Minchin on his blog. "Being TV, I knew it would have to be gentle." Jonathan Ross said on Twitter: "Really gutted that […]

Liz on 23rd of December 2011

Oh dear, how disappointing. Great song – of course some people will be offended; but what’s really offensive is that the BBC should be so scared of those people they don’t dare broadcast it. Merry Christmas!

Tim Minchin’s “Woody Allen Jesus” Christmas Song | Prometheus Unbound on 23rd of December 2011

[…] segment was taped for the Jonathan Ross Show, it didn’t actually air. It was nixed as too controversial. But Minchin, given a copy of the segment before the decision to nix it occurred, put it on […]

Stephen Marter on 23rd of December 2011

Good on ya. Keep it up Tim.

Jo Turk on 23rd of December 2011

Have to say I will NOT be watching Jonathan Ross for this reason. He should have fought harder for you Tim! What nonsense. Why is “not believing” such taboo?! My kids have chosen to follow us in our beliefs (actually, what science have proven to be true, but let’s not go there!) and they are often criticised for this by their peers (9 year olds, telling them they MUST believe in god). If we could have a more open debate surely we could all be more accepting? And let’s face it, are people with faith so easily swayed that alternate views not allowed, just in case they “turn”? I like to think that I was quite a supporter of Jonathan Ross during all the “Brand-gate”, but what has happened to him now? Why are people soooo scared?

Kizza on 23rd of December 2011

Hypocrisy live and well in 2011 – Bill Hicks must be rolling in his grave.

Robin Rinzler on 23rd of December 2011

When my kids were little, I simply said, “Santa is just for fun.” I was determined to never lie to my kids. They had just as much fun as any kid that believed he was real. For children, the fun is in the gift, not who brought it.

Kelly on 23rd of December 2011

It’s FANTASTIC and put your name into my world! Looking forward to checking out the rest of your work, thank you ;)

Cody on 23rd of December 2011

I enjoyed it, thanks for posting the music / video.

Bizzaro. on 23rd of December 2011

Reminds me of what they pulled on Bill Hicks with Letterman so long ago. Thankfully you have the power of the magicwoodyallenaseriesoftubes-internet to get this out to the masses.

Damn the man.

Bill Baggins on 23rd of December 2011

This whole post was full of awesome. Thank you for saying what is in my head. I have dealt with the whole issue of whether or not to try to convince my children that Santa is real – when its exactly the same ‘faith’ that will later on make them believe in some other imaginary guy in the sky. I have pretty much handled it fairly similarly.

And to “Tom” who said:
“I do have one question. Do you, Tim, believe in nothing that you can’t rationally define? Most of my atheist friends leave a little corner of their minds for something magical – even if it’s only love, or hope, or art. And if you believe that there isn’t anything else, just big bags of DNA moving at the mercy of natural laws – and love, hope, or creativity are just other forms of mental illness that’s fine but I’d be genuinely interested to know.”

I don’t know about Tim but I find nothing magical about love, hope or art. I quite adore all three but am not at all in awe of their existence. Magic is an easy out for things that don’t make apparent sense. And much like a magician’s act, if you actually bother to investigate more you will eventually reveal the string and the trap door.

Gary on 23rd of December 2011

What a fascinating instance of where we are in the Western World i.e. who cares who we offend no matter the season…all’s fair in the name of satire…..and the decision to cut the piece by no one connected to the Church as far as I can tell, then becomes a basis for opening up the hateful heart that spawned the piece…not satire but barely disguised hatred…just read his comments flowing from the “cut”…there is the real heart of the man in regard to what is precious to Christians.
Christians know that society now feels emboldened to ridicule of this kind…so we can expect more of this sort of stuff and our challenge is to remember what Jesus said “If they hate me they will hate you”.
May this advent season cause some to respond more positively to the wonder of Bethlehem…of Jesus.

Ian on 23rd of December 2011

Thanks for this. My kids are grown up ( whatever that means) and my wife and I got through the minefield of Christmas with really just a sense of joy and wonder that there was so much love in the room wherever we happened to be. People giving, receiving and generally having a good time just enjoying being with each other. I saw your gig with SSO on the telly last week. I loved it. First time I’ve really come across you. I hope you will take this as the compliment i mean it to be Thanks for making my life a bit better.

Tabletop Transitional – “WoodyAllenJesus” by (the scandalous) Tim Minchin on 23rd of December 2011

[…] This is part of what Tim wrote both below the video on YouTube and in a blog post: […]

SarahB on 23rd of December 2011

Damn. I don’t know how you came up with this at short notice, even if you do say it is not an original idea. Your talent is exceptional.

I’m not generally one to listen to songs about my mother’s imaginary friend in the sky, but this one, I could sing along to. Thanks very much. I will share it with a selection of my siblings who would also appreciate it.

Kind Regards,
Seasons greetings,
Happy holidays,
Happy Hannukah,
Happy Saturnalia,
Happy Solstice,
Happy Festivus,
Merry Xmas,
Merry Christmas,

Philip Hunt on 23rd of December 2011

Well Tim, I’m a Christian AND a Tim Minchin fan. I guess the main prerequisite is a decent sense of humour.

smars on 23rd of December 2011

From those of us state-side: Rock on, Tim!
So sorry to see one of your pieces cut like this. More power to you to put it on the web anyway (though I’m sure it won’t make up for being on the same talkshow as Tom Cruise-man that sucks!).
I don’t know if you ever actually read these comments, but what the hell, I’ll just put this out there: Your other Christmas song, ‘White Wine in the Sun’ is amazing. It has brought my partner to tears. So, I dunno if it helps feeling screwed over in this particular instance, but I hope you can at least know that for those who do get your stuff and what your performances are about, your stuff has a serious impact.

broInChrist on 23rd of December 2011

I am deeply praying to Jesus Christ our God and our Saviour to enlightened you and will use your God given talent to serve Him.

Jocelyn on 23rd of December 2011

Two things:
1. I find Tim’s hair and makeup more offensive / old than the song.
2. I worked out Santa was real in 1982 when I was told there are 24 hours in a day, obviously ample for the ‘fatty’ to get all the kids in the world their presents…


Wilfred on 23rd of December 2011

Well, I thought it was funny.
And I really liked the description above of Richard Dawkins being a “radical atheist”. Ha Ha Ha. How is it possible to radically not believe in something.?

Observer on 23rd of December 2011

Go on Tim, stop being a bigot and dare yourself to write a silly, harmless, and quite cute’ tune about Muhammed. ( Don’t hold your breath on this)

Tom on 23rd of December 2011

Firstly let me be open about my beliefs, I believe in God. Secondly I’m not offended by atheism, even when as ignorant of millennia of thought, art, and scholarship as you seem to be. “it’s 2011 and I know better than you,” is an arrogant and unworthy point if view but it’s so primitive it doesn’t begin to scratch at faith. And I’m sure you weren’t trying to change minds. I don’t think anyone has stopped believing in God after reading Dawkins – although if anyone has I’d be happy to be proved wrong.

I do have one question. Do you, Tim, believe in nothing that you can’t rationally define? Most of my atheist friends leave a little corner of their minds for something magical – even if it’s only love, or hope, or art. And if you believe that there isn’t anything else, just big bags of DNA moving at the mercy of natural laws – and love, hope, or creativity are just other forms of mental illness that’s fine but I’d be genuinely interested to know.

Russell on 23rd of December 2011

“The appropriate reaction to people who think Jesus is a supernatural being is mild embarrassment, sighing tolerance and patient education.” … hmmm, I’ve always felt that way about those who aggressively assert that Jesus is NOT a supernatural being. And as for Paul’s “mental illness”, I think he beat you to that one himself – but he does seem pretty self-aware to me. Still, have enjoyed your work, albeit limited exposure to date.

Yoni on 23rd of December 2011

Great song – and a delicious iron boost from the glimpse of Tom Cruise’s bewildered expression!

JackFlash on 23rd of December 2011

Have to agree with those who thought it was probably not that funny.
What is funny though are all those fans for whom anything you do is… well funny. Sort of like blind faith don’t you think?
I like some of your stuff but wonder if your avoidance of doing a piece on Muhammed around Ramadan is a bit transparent. Is it a case of self censorship?
Go for it! We’ll hide you!

Joel on 23rd of December 2011

You’re right about it being harmless… what oversensitivity on the part of the director. A shame it was cut from the show but great that you still got it out onto the interwebz.

Keep up the fantastic work!

Minchin fumes after ITV cuts song | Entertainment News on 23rd of December 2011

[…] “It’s not a particularly original idea, but it’s quite cute,” wrote the comedian on his blog. […]

Maurice West on 23rd of December 2011

Sorry bro…just another uttering from an anti It is so much time for people who can rise above this shallow ‘not-funny at all’ crap. Time for people who realise what is depicted in the mythology that underlays religions. You are as off the mark as all these other ‘smart-asses’ who try to score points, who came to assumptions before knowing their stuff…from Nietzsche to Dawkins and the rudies in between who want to show that they are so much smarter than the ‘ deluded ‘ people who are religious of nature. How vain is this better species! This on-going taking concrete of the symbolic religious/biblical stories by all athiest or not shows nothing more than the shallowness of perception and understanding of modern-collective- man.Is there anyone who actually knows what the virgin birth and the crucifiction means? No?, than use your own head and don’t stop until you have the only answer-take it as a Zen koan -the answer will break open all religion and reveal the true nature of the human being.

David Sharpe on 23rd of December 2011

I have to be honest, it was probably cut because it was not that good. You work in the entertainment industry, so you must be aware everything you do on a prerecorded show is like an audition; and you didn’t get the part.

I don’t know if you have noticed but modern audiences laugh at most things they are told are funny; gone are the days when performers are booed off stage, and that certainly would not happen on the set of a chat show: you had your fans in the audience, and they just took the rest of the crowd with them. The perfect example being the first woofer is where you sing “Woody Allen Jesus”; I am sorry that is just not funny, and to get that kind of reaction from the audience is just weird and signifies that they were told you were funny and were just waiting for an excuse to laugh.

(In most representations, both ancient and modern Jesus is portrayed as tall, or certainly average height, so the Woody Allen thing just falls on its face.)

Don’t let any of this spoil your Christmas though, you have got a lot of publicity out of this, and I am sure it will improve your ticket sales; I certainly hope so, although I don’t like your act I am certain it appeals to lots of people. Have a Happy Festive Season, and a wonderful New Year.

Tracey-rm on 23rd of December 2011

Love the song. Royaly pissed off it was cut. Perhaps you should do a song for Peter Finchman…..

As for Santa, we don’t do that with our kid. It basically came about because I hate lies, even “happy” ones and I hate fucked up reality and confusion (which I spent most of my childhood in a constant state of).

Have you heard of the elf on the shelf? That is utterly bonkers.

I prefer to amaze him with facts such as “you were inside me for 8 (born prem) months” or by whisking egg whites or pouring vinegar onto bicarb than with santa, toothfaries, easter bunnies and the like.

Why do we need the unicorn when we have the narwhal?


ps Merry Christmas, Tim x

Nic H on 23rd of December 2011

Screw you Minchin. Do you have any idea how long I’ve been trying to write “parthenogenesis” into a song? You’ve just gone and Done it!… D**k. Been kicked out of P*******e yet? Sad times…

Rachel on 23rd of December 2011

As it happened has guarantee a much better outcome now Tim, 14 hours after your upload, see ITV indeed did this a favor, making headlines now in UK, the cut off Vid goes viral : )

Peta on 23rd of December 2011

Kev, I know you won’t see this way down here, but I thought it needed to be said that atheists – not even those like Richard Dawkins – ‘shove’ non-belief “down other people’s throats”.

The thing is, we’re all in a discussion and after a lifetime of being brought up in a society where the figureheads prefer to protect a belief in an un-provable imaginary being, non-believers aren’t simply smiling and nodding anymore.

Atheists have every right to speak out against religion when confronted by it, just as much as religious people have every right to propagate their own beliefs (as they long have and often still do).

I feel that the reason many religious people have interpreted this speaking out as ‘shoving their atheism down other people’s throats’ is because there is no verifiable knowledge they can use to rebut it in discussion and that makes them very uncomfortable – perhaps even questioning.

I do have a hatred of religion, this does not equate to a hatred of the religious. I’m not an unreasonable person – though the steadfast grasping of beliefs and religious institutions is one in the same. Consistently, especially with the Abrahamic religions, this approach to belief is encouraged and even expected.

As a result, war, the spread of disease, the halting of scientific endeavour, public stonings and the discontinuation of the potential for social harmony has been caused. This is a horrific consequence of “Everyone has a right to their beliefs, whether they appear to based on logic or not.”

Religion doesn’t create all the problems in the world, arseholes do. Unfortunately a lot of those arseholes use religion as a motivator, an excuse and a justification to cause harm. To me, as an unbeliever, I blame religion as well as the people who wield it to cause pain and injustice.

It is the same as in a massacre, me blaming not only the assailant, but also the gun and legislation that allowed him/her to have it.

Chiff on 23rd of December 2011

Wait so you were cut but fucking TOM CRUISE wasn’t….

What the hell is the world coming to.

Nigel on 23rd of December 2011

The decision to cut this from the show is, quite frankly, f***ing weird.

Patti on 23rd of December 2011

I watched the video. I loved your song! I don’t understand why it was cut from the show. I consider myself a Christian, and I was not offended in the least. I thought it was clever. Thank you for sharing.

Melanie Simpson on 23rd of December 2011

Fantastic article Tim. This will be in my thoughts when my nearly 2 yr old asks these questions.

Angie on 23rd of December 2011

I think people should call in complaints into ITV or whatever agency governs TV complaints for not showing the song. There is nothing offensive or crude about it. It’s funny, tongue-in-cheek, smart, and…oh wait. Smart. Now, I know why they cut it.

TJ from PerthWA on 23rd of December 2011

Never change what you do Tim, the world needs you now more than ever!!!!

Kev on 23rd of December 2011

You’re obviously an extremely versatile, clever and talented musician, comedian and performer, however I find your views about religion to be extremely stereotypical and simplistic. There is a danger with radical atheists like Richard Dawkins, who I know you admire, that they become the very thing that they rail against – blindly anti-religious, dogmatic and against reason, which is the very thing they purport to be representing – take Richard’s website for an example, which arrogantly proclaims that it’s ‘a clear thinking oasis’, as if anyone who disagrees with him could not possibly be clear thinking. Sadly, In reality, his hatred of religion has made him philosophically blind, angry and bigoted – please don’t follow in his footsteps. It gets tiresome to witness someone trying so hard to shove their view down people’s throats, just as it is tiresome for a non-religious person to have Jesus forced on them. Everyone has a right to their beliefs, whether they appear to based on logic or not. It’s wrong that religion creates all the problems in the world, as Dawkins and other secularists would have us believe. What creates problems is grasping tightly to one’s own views, believing that they alone are right, dogmatically forcing those views on others who believe something different, and out of intolerance, denying others the right to their views. Extreme views are always dangerous, whether they be religious or secular.

Tim, you don’t have to be an anti-religious evangelist. You’ve got a right to express your views, of course, but please respect others – there’s no need to aggressively reject their beliefs; doing this makes you the worst kind of atheist fundamentalist.

Patti on 23rd of December 2011

I’m new to your music. I have a few friends who are true fans who have told me about you. I found this song funny, and am very sorry to hear it was cut. Thank you for sharing the video.

Guy Curtis on 23rd of December 2011

Jesus Christ, that sucks! But at least now the song will get a world-wide audience on Facebook, Youtube, etc. Merry Christmyth to you and yours Tim!

Thomas the Cat on 23rd of December 2011

What a wicked little song, its gone straight to the top of my fave Tim Minchin songs. I dont understand why they cut it from the show? as others have pointed out, you were comparing Jesus to superman! And to those bashing Tim on his subject choice, its CHRIST mas. He picked his topic perfectly. I for one are fed up of christians, as well as other religions, having free reign to preach and push their believes on the world. Having the rights to say atheists and non believers will burn for eternity when judgement day comes! I mean, come on, i for one as an atheist find that a little fricking aggressive and offensive. We have the right to say what we believe too! religion is the king of double standards….
I digress…

Well Done Tim, Keep it up. Your a legend and good on you for staying true to your personal beliefs instead of picking and choosing your morals from an ancient story book…
oops… Slight Dig.
Thomas. x

Sally on 23rd of December 2011

Tim, your humour is fantastic! This song is a seasonal spoof and very, very, very funny. As always, based on facts(?) it evokes the thinking humans amongst us to contemplate and question our beliefs not in a disrespectful way but using the best medicine in the world – Laughter. Well done !! I can’t wait to see you live in Perth in 2012. :)) xo
PS: Bah Humbug to Peter Fincham (whoever he is) who actually thinks he may be Jesus and stopped others from enjoying the clip…

Norm on 23rd of December 2011

Bravo! It was very funny, it was not boring, I loved it. I’ll be singing it throughout Christmas.

Archie Adams on 23rd of December 2011

Excellent performance Tim. It’s a pity about the timing of the recording, this could have been a great Christmas single (for the majority of the nation who aren’t uptight and enjoy a good laugh at the expense of the minority who still await the second coming). Maybe next year’s anti-X Factor campaign?

Holly Nettleton on 23rd of December 2011

Hey Tim! (firstly I’d just like to say that I love you and your stuff, and if your wife were ever to ‘fall off something high, or catch something bad’ I’m available as a replacement! ;)
I love your song! It’s such a shame it was cut from the show, I mean if Tom Cruise can like it (and he’s a bonafide freak!) then the rest of the world should be fine with it! I have to say, I think of myself as a ‘Christian’, not to the same extent as others I guess but I have ‘faith’… Anyway, I love your comedy. As far as I can tell, you are poking holes in the hypocrisy and bigotry of fundimentalist religion, and there’s nothing wrong with that, that is what good comedy and satire does, it points out the absurdity of the everyday. I can’t see anything offensive in the above song, or any others I’ve seen in your shows. Keep rocking! -Hollz x

P.S love your story about your daughter’s conversation about drowning, that’s so cute!

P.A.C. on 23rd of December 2011

Minchin is no coward. Just look at his Islam routine – pulls no punches.
Only cowards duck issues and pretend they are risky, cutting edge with something worth listening to.

Brett on 23rd of December 2011

Loved the song! I got linked through Penn Jillette’s twitter, and was fantastically glad that I was. Brilliant stuff.

Johjo on 23rd of December 2011

Tim Minchin you’re awesome! I love that you tear away the veils and debunk as you do in such an ambiguous and playful way. Media organisations often sing their tune to the toll of the massive middle of the bell curve. You know that. Don’t fear them, they can’t make or break you, just do your thing. I found this story on facebook and I’m spreading it like bird flu.

Dr Hansen on 23rd of December 2011

Just saw you singing white wine in the sun on E4 and cried like a baby. You made me so homesick for Perth and my mum and Christmas in the sun. Whoever said you weren’t deep was a dickhead. As are the idiots who cut you from ITV.

Merry Christmas!

David on 23rd of December 2011

Tim…I love you so much. Keep doing what you’re doing! One day atheists will stop being censored for speaking truths…

Andrea on 23rd of December 2011

Sadly there’ll always be idiots, keep doing what you do Tim and you might change a few minds…you can rely on your fans to support you!

Ian Paul on 23rd of December 2011

I’m really glad it was cut. I think your songs are very clever, but your attitude to Christian belief is really patronising and ill-informed. (You might say that the approach is mutual, but if it is so bad, why copy it?). I think it is fascinating that in the world of entertainment the worst sin–in fact the only sin–is to curtail someone’s freedom to insult others.

Grimbeard on 23rd of December 2011

Well, ITV is shit and rots your brain anyway so fuck ’em.

William LaBerge on 23rd of December 2011

This was my first introduction to you, Tim Minchin. Not my favorite now that I’ve seen the others a bit funny, but not nearly as fantastic as cheese, just saying of coarse, rightful to my opinion, I see the reason for taking it down (They fucked you like they fucked Bill Hicks on Letterman) but at the same time its the year 2011 and if people can’t take a joke by now people don’t deserve to laugh. Soon they will ban the internet and rid it of funny “he he ha ha” moments and the world will become what it truly is a grim piece of shit…unless your rich, then by all means, it’s probably quite nice.

At any rate! (what the fuck does that mean anyway?) You have inspired me. Thank you.

[chux] on 23rd of December 2011

Maybe I don’t get it, but something tells me Tim wasn’t actually saying Jesus was a Komodo dragon. He was saying Jesus shared some traits with a Komodo dragon. And Superman. And quarks. Which, according to the Bible, he did! There’s really no reason to be offended. But, I know, that doesn’t mean people won’t be.

Good work Tim! If that’s something you knocked up in a few days and aren’t all that happy with I’m sure your next tour will be every bit as great as we’ve been trained to expect.

Si on 23rd of December 2011

As a Christian I wasn’t offended at all by that sing along, but I also didn’t find it funny either. I haven’t got any issues with people using my faith as a source of comedy or jokes or taking the mic… but to be honest your act just isnt funny or intelligent or even profound.

You just come off as a guy with am agenda to attack Christians.

I saw you perform on C4 in the uk and sing your “I love Jesus..” song and I was expecting something really intelligent and witty and thought provoking. It just ended up as a 5 minute song about calling Christians homophobic and hateful.

I do think the BBC may have over reacted to ban that song from the airwaves, but I can also see why they did it!

The fact is that youve made a career out of humour, designed to attack Christians and provoke a reaction. It’s how you get publicity and obviously push your anti Christian views.

Which is fine and your choice, but you can’t bitch and moan when someone actually stands up against you and shows consideration for how it might offend. Your only angree because you have had an opportunity to provoke a reaction taking away from you.

But you’ve also got the massive publicity you no doubt wanted too.

Ultimately you started the entire issue by choosing to base your career on insulting a select faith… You can’t complain when that faith speaks out in defense. Not when you provoked it in the first place.

But for the record, you may want to actually research the faith your trying to insult first. A lot of the comments you make about our faith, in your songs, are so beyond inaccurate that it actually just makes you look stupid.

Hoodah on 23rd of December 2011

I really enjoyed the song – laughed out loud a couple of times. I don’t think it should have been pulled from the show either. I can understand some may take offense but I don’t think it justified the cut. They can choose whether or not to turn off.

I’m also a Christian, but not your typical one I guess. I believe in God. I’ve had enough evidence occur in my own life to convince me. I also believe in evolution. Not everything in the bible has to be taken literally to get the underlying message. I’ll probably alienate both sides with that comment but it works for me.

But that’s not the comment I came to make.

My beef, Tim, is with your second story. Yes, I understand about imagination etc…. but really compare the contrast:

“I’d felt great when she’d squealed with glee at five in the (fucking) morning upon discovering the comestibles had been consumed and that a reindeer had left hoof-prints in the icing sugar by the piano.”

“… But I will not try to train her out of her clear instinct to define for herself what is real.”

You have actively taken part in perpetuating the myth of Father Christmas, despite the fact that “Figuring out what truly exists seems to be the way she deals with her fears”. So when she finds out how you deliberately mislead her… don’t you think that’ll undermine her trust in you, and her ability to deal with those fears? Why should she believe you that monsters aren’t real when she finds out YOU put two dollars under her pillow?

The social pressures to lie to your children about Santa, the Easter bunny, the Tooth Fairy etc are enormous but I’ve made sure my no 3 & 7yo kids know “what is real” and what is not, to the best of my knowledge.

Don’t assume all Christians are fundamentalists. I’m not. I just felt compelled to highlight what seems to me to be a little hypocritical. Here endeth my sermon. :)

Louise on 23rd of December 2011

Pure entertainment and not the least bit offensive to anyone with an open mind.

John Carey on 23rd of December 2011

As ever an excellent piece of writting and entertainment. It is a shame that Peter Fincham feels as an audience we are incapable of laughing at ourselves and the world around us. Job well done Mr Minchin, look forward to more of your work.

Jane Malick-Nugent on 23rd of December 2011

The song was charming and funny. I was unaware that Jesus Christ was relatively short, so I suppose that makes Tim’s song educational as well! I am from the U.S. and behavior based on fear of the right wing rant is infuriatingly common . Sorry it happened to Tim.

hayls on 23rd of December 2011

No reason to tune in to JR now, trailers mentioning you was only reason was going to watch

Great to hear a new song, need more

hayls on 23rd of December 2011

No reason to watch JR now, the trailer mentioning you was the only reason i was going to tune in

Great to hear some new lyrics just wish for more

Hoolt on 23rd of December 2011

Not offensive, just genius!

Richard Affleck on 23rd of December 2011

Hi Tim
Me and my 14 year old son were in the front row (200 quid on e-bay no less!) of the Hammersmith Apollo gig you flew to from the studio after the JR taping and were knocked out to hear your new song. I don’t see my son much, as he lives overseas with his mum, but on this rare occasion of a special night together, we talked for days after about the meaning and perceptions from the lyrics, and in an odd way, gave us more to talk about for our brief time together than the usual, at this time of year (shopping, what to get for granny, whats on tv etc etc). You song changed that, for that briefest but treasured moment – when conversation, mutual rumination and a simple shared experiences came together. To hell with ITV and their PC schedules. We was there, and we share one treasured moment of its live airing to a very appreciative audience. My son’s left the UK now, but we’ll always remember your front row seats!

Lisa Christian on 23rd of December 2011

Love that about republics, we have a choice. Last time I checked Jonathan Ross was no longer on BBC government tv. Ross can now choose who he has on his show, he wins, you lose.

Vicky on 23rd of December 2011

Hi Tim, read the blog before going to bed last night (in Australia) and woke to find the Streisand effect in action and you splashed over the tory press. Probably not what you wanted when you are stressed and ill. Hope it dies down and allows you and your family to have a relaxed and happy christmas. Also loved the NS piece about your daughter and santa as I have a 7 year old who tells everyone at school that jesus doesnt exist but there is good evidence for santa.

Wont be long and you will be away from all those mail and telegraph readers and jumping into the Indian Ocean at Cotts or North beach!

Nathan from Leicestershire on 23rd of December 2011

Hi Tim,

Sorry to hear you’ve not been well recently, hope you’re feeling better now. As an ex-religionist I should be enjoying this kind of comedy but you know what, it just wasn’t that funny. I mean some of the rhymes were good, it wasn’t bad, it’s just that people such as Bill Bailey or Flight of the Conchords do what you do a whole lot better.

And since I’m getting things off my chest, could you lay off the Salvation Army please? They’re not all homphobic you know and, rumour has it, a lot of them actually help out some of the most desperate, needy people in society. I heard you slagging them off on Radio1 recently and I couldn’t help thinking “Jeez, a bit of balance needed here!”

Right, I’m going to get a very strong shield and hide in a cave because you obviously have a lot of fans who may possibly want to lynch me now. :o)

jen on 23rd of December 2011

Great little song, and yes, you MIGHT be Jesus, Tim, but talented though you are, you would have known it was pushing the envelope a tad far for a xmas show!?
Meanwhile congrats, I think it will be HUGE!!!!
Who needs TV to be huge?

Grazie on 23rd of December 2011

Hats off to Peter, best thing he could have done. Hopefully his action will make sure this song reaches a wider audience than he could ever have imagined, or wanted.

Billy-B on 23rd of December 2011

Tim I think you should appologise for mocking Jesus. The next thing you will be making fun of Batman, that nice young boy Harry Potter and heaven forbid Santa. Can you leave Santa alone coz I ain’t got no present yet and I sure as hell need some new guns in case them muslims attack us.

Billy Bob Wade
Virginya USA

Rachael on 23rd of December 2011

I very much enjoyed your article and song! There’s nothing wrong with a sense of humor, especially one that is based on truth.
I suppose whilst you are a child, there are both good and bad things that can excite or terrify you, as in reality as you grow older, there are real things which are just as wonderful that can excite and terrify you. Religion is not necessarily the problem, but the people who use it as an excuse to no longer seek truth and who are afraid to, because the idea of nothing controlling this world is too frightening. I personally like the lack of control (most of the time!) not knowing and seeking the knowledge is what gives life meaning.

Ashleigh on 23rd of December 2011

This is actually an interesting topic , and oh blimey i’ve never been on here before but damn this fellow can write aha :’)
– Ashleigh.xx

Sasha on 23rd of December 2011

Musical comedy genius. Storm-ing it on E4 tonight. 22/12/2011
;-D xx

chris on 23rd of December 2011

jesus FC why oh why was it cut! daily mail craziness! hopefully these people will die out

Becky on 23rd of December 2011

That really pisses me off.

And — brilliant song. Great job.

Anneke on 22nd of December 2011

That’s hilarious Tim! I would say that for the audience it is probably one of the more controversial of your songs. I mean, comparing Mary to a snail and Jesus to yourself- that’s definate blasphemy…. definate hilarious blasphemy.
Well done though!

Paul Friett on 22nd of December 2011

Well, I’m something of a fan, politically left-liberal and a Christan too.
Not offended by the song so much as the lauding of the world’s greatest living bigot, Dawkins, and your claim to “know” that my faith is wrong.
That disapponts me.

Abby, Lancashire on 22nd of December 2011

PS… Sorry Martin (Rothe) but TV these days is far from bland, inoffensive mush. I find Russell Howard’s Good News the most puerile rubbish I’ve ever heard. If I’m going to watch someone being offensive (and often cruel) I’d prefer Frankie Boyle any day, who is, at least, somewhat funny.

Abby, Lancashire on 22nd of December 2011

I happen to have a faith which is very unpopular these days but I do love a funny song by a clever and articulate member of the human race, so suspended ‘belief’ (ha!) to enjoy what is, after all, a pretty mild song. What REALLY shocked me was that FOR ONCE someone has edited an item on behalf of Christians. I would have expected deletion on behalf of any so-called offence that Muslims, disabled people or Jedhi Knights may have felt about a song but this is so damn unusual I’m surprised that there is anyone left in Britain looking out for Christians. Shame you worked hard on a song that wasn’t aired, Tim, but at least we get to see it on here!

Andy Summers on 22nd of December 2011

Hi, My name’s Andy. I’m a musician, Christian and big Tim Minchin fan. Tim is a genius – incredible musician, songwriter and performer. Surely part of being a Christian is the acceptance of other people’s views and belief’s and to rejoice in their God- given talents and have the ability not to take oneself so seriously! Tim, I like the song and am not offended in the least. I’m sure Jesus wouldn’t have axed it. Just a pity program directors think they know the mind of God! Rock on!

Catherine Gregory on 22nd of December 2011

Dear Tim,
To make you smile I have 2 boys aged 11 & 6 who love your work, we have drove north recently from Sydney to Coffs and your tunes was the most requested from the DJ driver.
My hubbie is a massive fan, me however have been wooed by you. The kids know all the words and their favourites include the fence and rock n roll nerd. They even beep out the not so appropriate words with hands over their ears lol. For Christmas my 11 year has one very hot ticket to your 3rd Feb show in Sydney. Lets hope this new generation will have the balls to question and have fun.
Merry Christmas shall def be having a white wine in the sun (or rain ) this chrimbo C x

Chris Low on 22nd of December 2011

Look on the bright side Tim… If I wasn’t so outraged by reading the article in Herald Sun, I wouldn’t have checked out YOU TUBE clip …. got to hear very funny song…. and now want to buy your new Album. The Lord works in mysterious ways…

Andy on 22nd of December 2011

I love the fact that Christians can go around telling us we must have faith in the mythological creatures from their story book. they can tell US what we must believe in but as soon as someone challenges their beliefs they have a hissy fit and cry in the corner for a few years.

M.T.B. on 22nd of December 2011


Merry Christmas, Tim.

ksb on 22nd of December 2011

Tom cruise isn’t all that short… that’s the real shocking news people!

Love your work Tim, don’t let the bastards grind you down.

Esther on 22nd of December 2011

I absolutely love all your songs Tim, and you being on Jonathan Ross would have been the skinny jeans cherry on Christmas! I hate that a brilliant song gets cut from tv because of this insane fear of possibly causing some degree of offence to somebody somewhere: no one would ever say anything interesting or challenging or any opinions whatsoever. Anyway, this song isn’t offensive! I have Christian friends who wouldn’t be bothered by this at all, and it’s not saying anything against Jesus.

If anything, it’s helping his reputation: he’s comparing him to Superman for goodness’ sake.

Keep it up Tim, we love you!!

Matt Pitcher on 22nd of December 2011

As an RE teacher I found your song hilarious and very instructive for the kids that I teach – in fact I might use it as a basis for a lesson as it shows the contempory nature of Jesus and how we might react to him if he were alive today. I’ll use it now as an example of the restrictiveness of the British media and how one persons take on something can be twisted to something that it’s not.
Anyway thank you for writing a song that makes people laugh and gets them thinking. UnlIke some of our printed media

RJ the Empty Reasoner and Dubious Philosopher on 22nd of December 2011

Firstly, well done Tim, great song, and it certainly wasn’t a wasted effort, judging by all the views and likes it has accumulated already. Secondly, I couldn’t let this comment by Andy Minchkin pass without a reply. Andy said;

“Ah the empty reasoning and dubious philosophies of men. ‘Hey if i can’t see it, it don’t exist’ – erm, gravity, electricity, gas anyone?”

Andy, I’m confused here – are you suggesting that people who claim, ‘If I can’t see it, it don’t exist,’ are somehow hypocrites because they reject the existence of a God they cannot see with their eyes, while accepting the existence of gravity, electricity and gas, which they also can’t see with their eyes?

If that’s the case, I would like to point out to you that belief in the existence of gravity, electricity and gas are poor examples, because this is fundamentally different to the belief in the existence of God. While gravity, electricity and gas are all things that cannot be directly observed by the human eye, they can have their existence confirmed by scientific experiment – because they have a direct, consistent physical effect on the world that can be observed at any time.

The existence of God is different because God cannot be observed at any time to have a direct and consistent physical effect on the world. So the basis of your comparison is flawed. That’s called Logic 101. Merry Christmas.

Ed on 22nd of December 2011

Sorry, but I’m glad it was cut. Not because it was offensive but because I felt it was weak; a bit too obvious; and lacked any original message.
“I don’t believe in Jesus!” and “you’re all a bit thick if you do!”..,Well done Tim, all Christians should bow down to your higher intellect.

Pope Timinane I on 22nd of December 2011

I think I just saw an image of Tim Minchin in a piece of toast.

Careful ITV I think Tim is Jesus and you will go straight to hell where caretaker Nick Minchin will love you to death. (More IT Crowd might allow me to pardon you as self-proclaimed pope/prophet of the church of Tim Minchin and latter day Jesus.)

Peter C. Ross - Australia on 22nd of December 2011

Tim, if ever you had any doubts, the volume and passion of the comments herein are a reassuring reminder that you are not alone. As you’ve famously said, ‘….apart from the obvious over abundance of f..ing indiots…’, there is hope amongst this group at least.

Nath on 22nd of December 2011

Hi Tim, I’ll echo some of the same comments here – what did they expect from you? You delivered brand Minchin to a tee. As for the other plonkers commenting on Islam etc, when did Mohammed become part of the nativity scene? Tim was aked to fill a brief and did so, he can’t take the mickey out of everyone and everything in a four minute time slot, go to one of Tims shows for that…

Narnie on 22nd of December 2011

I haven’t watched the vid yet -I’m going to do that next – but I have enjoyed the written articles. I am an atheist. Whilst I accept and respect that tolerance and free will are sacred, I have no truck with anyone’s God but as this is a time of year that for many of us is seen as a Christian celebration, and Tim was asked to do a Christmas song, why are some of you bashing him for not picking on Mohammed?

The Knapps on 22nd of December 2011

Another pair who really enjoyed it. Thanks for posting it so we got to see it anyway – saves us from having to put rubbishy ITV on at all!

Rikki on 22nd of December 2011

God forbid you offend someone. They might wake up with leprosy!

s on 22nd of December 2011

Been coming to see your shows even before you were famous with my children from age 11. They treasure a picture taken with you years back. Never has there been anything offensive or anything I have been concerned about with my children there. Only challenging stuff to think about, great comedy, enthusiasm for life and musicianship. Just carry on.

Luci on 22nd of December 2011


“Father Christmas is real… in the imaginary world.”

kind of reminds me of:

“Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world. You may tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.”

But a tad more blunt :p

Rebecca Turner on 22nd of December 2011

Praise Jesus for the internet! Where brilliant brains like Tim Minchin aren’t censored by stuffed-up suits like Peter Fincham.

Luci on 22nd of December 2011

Imph. Yeah, that is disapointing and I did like your song.

I laughed out loud at “kind of did what Derren Brown does” and cracked a smile at various other parts. Also:


It was amusing – clever and cute.

And cutting it is no comment on you but a massive comment on this country. Two things…three…four things immediately spring to mind:

1. Recently watched ‘Holy Flying Circus’ (http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2011/jun/21/bbc-monty-python-life-of-brian) and was kind of surprised at the furor that surrounded the release of Life of Brian – particularly from religious groups as they felt it was lampooning Jesus and ‘offensive.’ The idea that such a funny and absurdist film could upset people is just 0_o I just figured people were a bit more sensitive about such things back then. Apparently not…

2. I also think Jonathon Ross is a great guy, but perhaps people are STILL sensitive about the Andrew Sachs thing that the tabloids whipped up, resulting in his suspension…It’s possible they’re being particularly careful about the content *because* it’s the Jonathon Ross show. It sounds very much like Peter Fincham covering his arse.

3. I think you’ve spent some time with Amanda Palmer? You probably know she released a song called Oasis (somewhat edgier than your xmas song! but sung in a very light tone) She had some problems with censorship in the UK as “All our TV outlets have refused to play the video due to it ‘making light of rape, religion and abortion’. Many of the stations like the track, and even the video but are bound by strict broadcasting rules.” Her blogpost has a pretty thoughtful response (http://blog.amandapalmer.net/post/75463717/on-abortion-rape-art-and-humor) and she states “if you cannot sense the irony in this song, you’re about two intelligence points above a kumquat.”

…I think there might be quite a few people in this country who take themselves entirely too seriously and are about two intelligence points above a kumquat…

4. Think it was last Christmas? Maybe the Christmas before? But they censored the (um, festive?) classic ‘Fairytale of New York’ because it says…’faggot’. My question is, if this wasn’t initially offensive enough to be censored when originally released, why is it now, so many years later? I strongly suspect it’s someone deciding to be offended on other peoples behalf, being worried about complaints or being percieved as supporting homophobia by airing the song. Which is just /facepalm.

In conclusion! Apparently the things that offended us several years back STILL offend us (Jesus is a sacred cow!) – in fact, apparently, things offend us now that didn’t before (You cheap lousy faggot). Everyones scared of a tabloid furor – still – so we must be careful Not To Offend Anyone incase we get In Trouble. We can also get offended on other peoples behalf!…If we happen to be bored that day. Also? We no longer understand irony. We have become Americans.

Emma on 22nd of December 2011

I think they are all fucking idiots! Currently watching so fucking rock and love everything you do and have done! Even the really offensive stuff. Can’t believe Jonathan Ross agreed, he should have fought harder to keep u!!!!

clare shard on 22nd of December 2011

Thank you so much for being a generous, kind and wonderful example of humanity at its best! Warmest festive wishes to you,, I can’t bring myself to say happy holidays,,or happy Christmas,We need a phrase that reflects this most wonderful time of dark,cold cosy,loving and giving,,

Chickpea on 22nd of December 2011

Hey Tim, Brilliant song! ITV should have kept it in! I go to church AND I love your song! Hey anything goes in the C of E and it is Christmas after all! Bah humbug to Peter ‘scrooge’ Fincham!

Sean Wheeler on 22nd of December 2011

Absolutely brilliant!!! Tim…you ROCK!

And it was removed? In the UK? I could usnderstand that happening here in insanely-superstitious and fanaticly-religious America…but in the UK? Where 2 out of 3 churches have been turned into pubs (Thank Zod). Really? Im stunned. British folks are way smarter than that.

Its gotta be a ratings scare issue.

LED Lighting News » Blog Archive » Minchin fumes after ITV cuts song on 22nd of December 2011

[…] “It’s not a particularly original idea, but it’s quite cute,” wrote the comedian on his blog. […]

santa on 22nd of December 2011

we live in an infinite universe, full of infinite possibilities. so out there somewhere there probably is a fat man, who rides a flying sleigh pulled by deer. So, if there is probably a man like this out there, maybe, just maybe this is the place he is at. and maybe, just maybe he just typed this reply.:) Have a lovely Christmas..

and bugger the sensors. common sense will win in the end.

Bushie on 22nd of December 2011

Come on Tim, you don’t want to be seen as an unoriginal prat. Have a go at Mohammad

Christina on 22nd of December 2011

I enjoyed your song, which in my opinion is brilliant!……despite not liking Woody Allen…..but that’s another story……but then what would I know……best ask ITV if I can comment…….x

Kim on 22nd of December 2011

It’s a great song and I can’t understand the problem with that being broadcast. It actually makes Jesus sound pretty damn cool. And now I know what to tell my daughter when she’s big enough to ask too. Thanks for sharing all.

Dave Brown on 22nd of December 2011

Firstly; I loved this, great satire and great fun.
It sounds like someone is trying to avoid a “Life of Brian” style outcry and cover thier own arse (and Jonathan’s, whether he want’s them to or not). This should be included in the show, however, I think there will be more publicity about it because it was removed.
Love you work Tim, keep making me smile :-)

Caspar Last on 22nd of December 2011

Quite ambiguous about this. As you say, it wasn’t a milestone in comedy. I don’t believe in banning anyones comments on any subject, no matter how asinine or insensitive (which I don’t think your song was – it was mildly amusing – to damn with faint praise). However, as some of the other commentators mentioned, would you have the cojones to do the same thing to Islam ? There is such a thing as comedic / satiric responsibility to attack the taboo subjects, and poor old Jesus has been slagged off to such a degree (and by far more capable critics) that it could be considered “lazy” to do it yet again, given the huge range of current topics available: e.g. the 1% and the 99%, the warmongering against Iran, the hypocrisy of the Israeli state,the massive disparity in “justice” meted out to the rich and the poor, the increasing surveillance state and Big Brother attitude. Must try harder – unless you just wannabe another rich celeb Satanist sell-out.

Nick on 22nd of December 2011

That’s a great song, and shouldn’t have been cut, but keep up the good work anyway…. Uncaged Monkeys was excellent, btw!!

Emily Scantlebury on 22nd of December 2011

I think you should have said “Billy Crystal Jesus”. He is sexy, funny, Jewish and has a beard. Plus its still 4 syllables.

Laura on 22nd of December 2011

tim i think your absolutely onderful and for that fat cat peter to have taken off your song is a down right disgrace,that is one man who would probably be afraid of his own shadow thinking its going to attack him or something. honestly itv needs to lighten up i posted the sotry on facebook about it all and let folk see what idiots do to piss amazing artists like yourself off

Keep up the good work

dont let the networks get you down,and keep writing your wonderful material,because it brightens up my day hearing your stand up comedy along with all your songs,your a fantastic man :)

Laura From glasgow scotland <3

Penny on 22nd of December 2011

Love your work. So do thousands of other people around the globe. With regard to being disappointed, breathe in…. and let it go. It was kind of you to pop the song onto your website and youtube, so we haven’t missed out. HeraldSun in Melbourne told us all about the ITV nonsense in today’s paper/website, as have other publications around the world. I suspect the views on youtube will skyrocket now, as people search to see what all the fuss was about, and so ITV’s decision was a very silly/pointless one. By pulling the pin, more people will want to see/hear your song. Cheers.

Kate on 22nd of December 2011

Sorry that your efforts appeared to have been wasted Tim, love the song and ITV are idiots. We NEVER watch ITV, it is worse than Channel 5 (my husband tries to secretly delete it from the channels list every time the freeview box retunes itself) so I may have missed your song if it weren’t for this. Funny how they are all twitchy about your song when on some channels it seems they are no longer allowed to make reference to Christmas it is all references to winter instead. Noone seems to know which soap box to stand on.

It is great to see that you have plenty of positive comments from fans who are Christians – these people can obviously hold their personal beliefs whilst also being able to reflect and also have a sense of humour and an interest in other people without feeling threatened.
Loved seeing you in Plymouth – I was one of the audience having trouble with their arms ;-) I hope I will get to see one of your shows soon, hope you feel better soon

Jen from Adelaide on 22nd of December 2011

Hi Tim, Great song! I’m disappointed on your behalf but cannot suppress a giggle at the ridiculousness of it all… so hope you keep smiling and have a great Christmas.

Simon on 22nd of December 2011

A small irony here, is that part of the reason BBC and ITV are so timid nowadays is because of Jonathan Ross’s antics in the past – especially the Andrew Sachs incident.

Still, I love the song. Considering you wrote this under pressure and in just a few days, I think you knocked it out of the park.

Renee on 22nd of December 2011

The song (and blog) was fantastic Tim! I find it terrifying when I think of those people who go through life without a sense of humour…and how they end up running TV stations. Perth says hi (I’m absolutely sure I speak for everyone here) :)

Emily Biddiscombe on 22nd of December 2011

Haters gonna hate.
Twas indeed a cute little number which judging by the support made a lot of people warm and fuzzy inside. I guess you can’t help those without a sense of humour, they miss out on the joys in life.
Keep up the good work and now your support base is strong. xx

Leslie Wood on 22nd of December 2011

The trouble is, you nerds think you can say what you like. Why dont you write a song about Mohamed comparing him to a ” Pork pie ” and see where that gets you ! It just shows what you are worth by those who follow you on this blog. If it was not for the Christian heritage of the UK, you would have no freedom. Go and live in North Korea and see how far you would get with satire of the leadership.

Rachael on 22nd of December 2011

Peter Fincham’s testicles need to descend.

That song was BRILLIANT! :)

Jack on 22nd of December 2011

I saw Tim perform this at Hammersmith and loved it, I don’t see why its been cut :(

Brian Mardiney on 22nd of December 2011

Perhaps this is a reaction to having most of your TV programming come from a govt. sponsored source (BBC)? Maybe people are more risk averse in England due to “public outrage”?

Eluned on 22nd of December 2011

Well I liked it! :)

Adele on 22nd of December 2011

Peter Fincham was fired (I mean…resigned) from the BBC after the Year With the Queen “scandal” in 2007. I guess he never got over it.

Liam Carter on 22nd of December 2011

Love you Tim, fuck ITV they’re shit, who wants to watch TV with adverts anyway?

Becca on 22nd of December 2011

Fuck the man Tim!

Merry Christmas

David on 22nd of December 2011

Tim – loved your song and look forward to seeing your concert in Brisbane in the new year.

I find it ironic that people who analyse your lyrics for “factuality” may have a Christmas tree and celebrate Santa.

Keep up the great work mate!

Kenny Lopes on 22nd of December 2011

Got to agree, Andy Minchkin… Poor old Kenny that lives in a free South American country where religious people are moving a big campain with the motto “God’s law is bigger the laws made by men” and they’re trying to revoke the law that allows gay folks to get married, and they are fighting RIGHT NOW against a law that makes violence agaist homossexuals a prejudice crime. They are trying to build a Christian dictatorship to censor other religion views. I think they’re totally going to fail because…well this is just insane. And you can make sure that this is insane if you take a quick look in some books in the same libraries that you mentioned. Tell me, my dear friend, what’s up with you guys? Why do we HAVE to swallow your beliefs in public manifestation and TV shows and you can’t take other people opinion? Why can’t you guys be sure of whatever you want, but give a little space for other people to act and to believe or not in whatever they want?

Bruce Tyler on 22nd of December 2011

Each to their own. I just watched it and enjoyed it :)

Jean Malley on 22nd of December 2011

Brilliant… as usual. I’m off to complain to itv.

DVDfever.co.uk on 22nd of December 2011

Peter Felchem ruined BBC1 when he was in charge and now he’s ruining ITV. The man is completely devoid of clue.

Matty on 22nd of December 2011

“It’s 2011. The appropriate reaction to people who think Jesus is a supernatural being is mild embarrassment, sighing tolerance and patient education.”

So sad that Tim’s shown himself to be a patronising atheist. It’s upsetting to hear that a good comedian has such a closed mind/one-track view of the world. The church does so much good in the world today, and helps so many people that the state cannot or does not want to, but gets all the sh*t because of the extremist views of fundamentals.

Do consider the teachings of Jesus, which are actually very sound, rather than throwing the metaphorical baby out with the bath water. Even if you don’t believe, the hope Jesus gives to people living in misery in the poorest parts of the world, and here at home, must be positive and worthy of respect.

Dom Robinson on 22nd of December 2011

Peter Felchem ruined BBC1 when he was in charge and now he’s ruining ITV. The man is completely devoid of clue.

Jon Ward on 22nd of December 2011

Hi Tim,

I must admit to being selfishly pleased that your song was cut. My tolerance of Christmas television will not I am afraid stretch to that of the Jonathan Ross show and therefore I am grateful it was cut has received coverage on BBC News.

I must say I am slightly concerned by the odd one or two negative reactions to your handling of Jesus Christ and yet no one is concerned for Superman. Everyone surely knows that Jesus was born from the diaries of a series of fans of the superstar which were condensed and probably mistranslated in to a single volume. Whom tell me is standing up for Superman who is even now risking all to keep Metropolis safe and there exists far more evidence he is real. Some is even in colour I hear.

I feel therefore at the end of your song when you confess to actually being Jesus a naughty look should cross your face as you touch your chest and pulling down your t-shirt you reveal the ‘S’ that can mean only one thing…

Hope you have a fantastic Christmas. Don’t let the buggers let you down.

Jon x

Emili on 22nd of December 2011

What is so wrong with a few harmless comparisons. I thought it was top-notch comedy music. ^_^ I didn’t hear any boos in the audience unless they were hidden within all the other people laughing in appreciation of your glorious song. Happy Christmas

Andy Minchkin on 22nd of December 2011

Ah the empty reasoning and dubious philosophies of men. ‘Hey if i can’t see it, it don’t exist’ – erm, gravity, electricity, gas anyone?

‘But if God exists, why so much suffering?’ – check what the Scriptures tell you about which god really rules the world.

Examine the evidence – as any good scientist would tell you – before commenting.

jon_iz on 22nd of December 2011

Some people really need to lighten up..
I thought we lived in a democracy, where majority rule?
Too often these days people are worried about upsetting the minority. Get a grip ITV and air it.

Sylvia on 22nd of December 2011

This was featured today in my newsletter The Daily What and I have to say I LOVED it!!! ;-) I know there are a lot of devoutly faithful and totally humorless (oh, sorry, I’m repeating myself) who will cry foul and probably not even listen all the way through. Their loss! As for me, I shared it on Facebook – I know I’ll catch hell from one cousin, but I’m used to it as she falls into the category listed above ;-) The rest of my circle will love it – keep up the smart/funny/clever work – that’s an order ;-)

Andy Minchkin on 22nd of December 2011

poor old Kenny. Another one who has failed to examine the clear archaeological, historical, prophetical evidence freely available in any library. It’s all there for you. Sadly many people are happy with their own world until their circumstances change and they have to alter their heart condition and learn the truth.

Kenny Lopes on 22nd of December 2011

Uau… Lots of people here who actually knew Jesus in person are been gentle enough to give a nice feedback about some little mistakes in the lyrics according to them… So lovely!

Gary on 22nd of December 2011

“It’s 2011. The appropriate reaction to people who think Jesus is a supernatural being is mild embarrassment, sighing tolerance and patient education.”

“The fact that I know that Christianity’s origins lie more in Paul of Tarsus’s mental illness and Emperor Constantine’s political savvy than in the existence of the divine…”

Really? What evidence do you have that supports this viewpoint?

Who did you think the bigots were again?

Jesus loves you dude!

Annette on 22nd of December 2011

They obviously think you are not the messiah…..just ” a very naughty boy”!

I think you are one very clever komodo dragon :)

Andy Minchkin on 22nd of December 2011

just 2 basic things wrong Tim. Jesus was neither political nor hesitant. His words bear that out.
Only wanted to let you know that as sadly many people will latch onto your words and believe them to be factual.

Paul Hodgson on 22nd of December 2011

I was in the audience at #200billion when you sang the same song, it’s great! Real shame ITV don’t have a sense of humour, or a spine. Kinda similar to Bill Hicks getting yanked from Letterman (think it was Letterman) all those years ago. How times have changed eh?

Andrew on 22nd of December 2011

loved it itv can stick the show

Jonathan Kendall on 22nd of December 2011

I’m a fan of Tim Minchin (who I refer to in the third person assuming he has given up reading all the mail on this subject by now). I must confess having read the entire blog bar most of the comments and watched the performance that I’d hazard the song was pulled not because it may offend anybody, but because it may offend a lot of people but it doesn’t justify the risk by compensating us all through it’s wit too. so I’d place the blame on a basic QA fail rather than religious hysteria, which is a shame because on a topical note I think your Christmas song is brilliant and that definitely should be shown.

On the comments front, Richard Spencer writing “Jesus, son of God” as if it’s a fact is exactly what’s wrong with religious people. If being political correction means protecting a person’s right to offend because he supposes a book with known dubious origins is the word of God just because it claims as such is actually dangerous and fundamental to what leads to attacks supposedly in the name of God. The fact such people believe they are actually receiving messages and instruction from an infallible deity, even if in book form, is disturbing. The fact such a person’s rights are protected over reasoned, justified thought is a peril.

Imagine we were to support censorship of anything that may hurt, offend or contradict the belief systems of someone. Would there be anything left? People who try to ban opinions that contradict their own must have terrible trouble facing reality. Especially when one considers that just a cursory glance around ones knowledge of civilisation is enough to inform any thinking person that most of the values we subscribe to as a species are plainly bullshit.

Kate on 22nd of December 2011

There once was a director called Peter
Who wasn’t happy with an artist called Tim
What the director couldnt see,
Is that we live in the 21st Century
And he shouldn’t have given the programme a trim.

The Letterman show did the same to Bill Hicks
Who felt the cut was a bit of a fix
If it’s not 100% mainstraim commercial
With humour and a pinch of contraversial
Sometimes directors are afraid of that mix

So a plea for the future Peter Fincham
Please do not censor Tim Minchin
Though to some his songs may offend
I would personally commend
And maybe you should go out on a limb.

Lise on 22nd of December 2011

I just plain love our Mr Tim Minchin’s mind; it’s a breath of (twisted, bitter, hilarious, honest, intelligent, smelly, fresh) air.

Also the handling of santa… I had that dilemma with my 4 kids who, as they grew up, slipped uneventfully into understanding that santa wasn’t real.

Fincham is an idiot.

Thank you for being you Tim.

Sarah Cooke on 22nd of December 2011

That was fucking amazing! I can’t beleive they cut it out. I mean, It’s not like you said anything about the muslims! Some people are so closed minded that it scares me. Bloody fascist bully boys, they all need to grow a pair of bollocks and learn how to laugh. The mentality of it completely escapes me, if you can’t laugh at yourself, what’s the point?…

Amanda on 22nd of December 2011

Funny, clever, adorable, and unoffensive – but I’ll admit my favorite part was Tom Cruise’s bewildered amusement. I am hoping you will get greater press and attention because ITV overreacted and made a bonehead decision than you would have if it had aired as planned. GOOD. And maybe Wossy will send you a nice present. Carried by his wife. In undies. Just saying.

Alan on 22nd of December 2011

I loved the song. I’m sure you know this, but I suspect there are two issues. One is the “one step beyond” (to quote Madness) where it sounds like you are saying you are like Jesus (which theologically is perfectly sound). I think you could have got away with this, but probably not on theological grounds. The sticking point was possibly the use of Woody Allen as a comparator. Much of the industry -and the broader community – is unhappy with his parenting strategy. That was probably what they didn’t want attributed to their favorite guy (for whom there is little or no evidence of any parenting strategy). Anyway, and I suspect you know this, most people think your work in marvelous (although an 80yo woman I gave one of your CDs to was a little offended by the pope song, although probably not on religious grounds).

Caroline on 22nd of December 2011

I had set the JR show to record on the basis that you were on, Tim. I will be out celebrating both my 40th and my long overdue divorce on Friday night and had decided you and a biscuit boost were the perfect hangover remedy (other chocolate bars are available). Suffice to say I’m gutted. If the BBC can broadcast China bringing us to our knees I despair at ITV. They have raised the expectations of the British public, knowing full well your own unique and ingenious brand of humour and your absence will be sorely felt. I’ve often enjoyed you on TV over the past few months, even wrestled my way to the front of a stampede at a festival this summer to secure a position in the second row of your audience at Leeds. The idea of your being on TV on the day of my 40th birthday had a serendipitous air about it, so shame on you ITV, shame.

studyhound on 22nd of December 2011

Thanks for posting this – I now have no need to watch the JR show as you were the one thing I would tuning in for! P.S. Not really that hard hitting {song} is it? How mediocre must tele be these days to pass muster with those that decide what is and is not fit for general consumption!? Yours, recently converted fan x

A concerned viewer on 22nd of December 2011

Hello “Tim Minchin”. Your russell brand of “fine line” humour gains its definition in the risk you run by putting it out there. Risk. Cause and consequence. Don’t go boo-hooing when you feel the friction. Look on the bright side… at least people won’t be exposed to your po-faced, pseudo-intellectual, calculated and tired humour. I dislike religion as much as the next man, but your thing is so much more pathetic, regardless of the army of enlightened spirits who champion you. They have tiny brains and no generative thought. Your brain is probably slightly larger, but still farily small, and offers nothing. Keep it up, because people like me gain some of THEIR definition from people like you!

Becky Frewin on 22nd of December 2011

Tim – I’m not sure I can add anything new to this surge of support to you. But if it means anything, I personally feel quite offended by the fact that ITV feel that they have the right to decide what I may or may not find offensive. I am an adult, with my own belief system and the ability (and right) to make my own decisions.

Aside from this, I enjoyed the somg immensely and, like others, have shared it on my facebook page to try to in some small way reverse the effect of ITV’s decision and maximise the amount of exposure it receives.

Have a very merry, restful and peaceful festive period with your family. Your work this year has been plentiful and, more importantly, outstanding.

Jonathan Mock on 22nd of December 2011

Let’s take a step back people. Those the CoE fundementalists – they might start buying lower grade tea and not putting quite so much sugar in the sponge cakes at the next church fete. You do not want to mess with those motherfuckers.

Meanwhile, I’m off to watch Jesus being cruelly lampooned on Family Guy on BBC3.

Liz on 22nd of December 2011

I am very sorry that you have been unwell and think its admirable that you still made the effort to fulfil your commitments. The song is a wonderful antedote to all the Christmas ‘muzak’ force fed to us everywhere you go (now I would definitely like to complain about THAT!). Thank you for posting it and sharing it with us all. We have played it over and over and my husband still hasn’t stopped laughing. And an added bonus is that we have now been saved the bother of watching Jonathan Ross, as you were the only reason we were going to tune in. Try to forget it Tim – they aren’t worth it – and please don’t let it spoil your Christmas. Have a wonderful time with your family.

susanna bearfoot on 22nd of December 2011

Dear JC look-a-like……I loved it, I bet Woody Allen would love it and I’m sure God, whoever she is, loves you. It should have been on the show. Have a wondrous Christmas, Tim.

Badboy on 22nd of December 2011

steph naylor,
Thanks for showing the world that you are an ignorant idiot. Tim has already done songs/jokes about Islam. I suggest you buy a couple DVDs and acquaint yourself with his work before you make yourself out to be an even bigger fool.

Smile.. all non-existing things love you.

June on 22nd of December 2011

Love the song and I was going to watch the show, but won’t now.
As for Santa and children – I can remember being a bit confused about him. Whilst staying at my grandparents for Christmas when I was 6, there was a boarded up mantelpiece in the bedroom, so I decided to stay awake to see how Santa was going to get down the chimney and through the plywood – I don’t think my parents ever knew, but was quite happy when I saw my dad put the presents at the end of the bed. I think maybe this also influenced my beliefs in fairies, vampires, ghosts and of course god, even though my family seemed to believe in such things (well maybe not the vampires!). Please continue to make brilliant satirical songs and have a happy Christmas.

Kenny Lopes on 22nd of December 2011

Getting my digital copy right NOW
And of course… portuguese subtitles will be ready by tomorrow =D

Helen M on 22nd of December 2011

Dude, it was the “me” bit that got you in trouble. And I’m kinda relieved that I won’t have to sit thru Tom C.
Hope you have lots of white wines in the sun.

The Christmas song cut by ITV to avoid offending Christians in the UK | Scripting4U Blog on 22nd of December 2011

[…] Minchin explains what happened HERE in his […]

Michael Gough on 22nd of December 2011

Very funny song, nothing wrong…

Woody Allen Jesus » DavidMadelin.com on 22nd of December 2011

[…] Minchin composed and performed this song for the Christmas edition of the Jonathan Ross show, but alas ITV got cold feet and cut it from the […]

Greig on 22nd of December 2011

I think it is a very sad thing that itv have cut your song.

This is a worrying decision. I see the official line is the song didn’t work editorially. I would be interested to hear more from itv.

If this song is deeemd so offensive for broadcast, who makes this decision and upon what basis?

Free speech is so fundamentally important, it saves us from the tyranny of ignorance. But even more so when it is done is such a clever way, as Jonathan said, this is ‘smart comedy’. As an art form in itself, this song deserves recognition as entertainment.

People may not share the views expressed in the song, but people may not agree with many of the religious broadcasts that are made throughout the year, not only at Christmas time. Religious broadcasts are not cancelled in the fear that non believers may be offended.

We need to hear voices that provoke us to think and question.

I wonder how much of this decision is borne out of fear of the reaction from fundamentalist believers. Very worrying that a minority, or any, group control decisions over what is decent or offensive.

Great song Tim, funny and interesting. Love your stuff!

Elaine on 22nd of December 2011

Well said, loved the song, come back to Oz and perform to audiences without hangups and merry Christmas to you and your family.

Fliss Paps on 22nd of December 2011

Tim, the time contraints to do a high profile song are obvious in the finished article. Don’t chase the $ under such circumstances because I reckon the reason it was cut was simply because it was crap. Crap, because you were pressured into supplying a sub-standard work under the jackboot of fear. It just wasn’t funny or entertaining.

Wendy on 22nd of December 2011


lily on 22nd of December 2011

Angry emails at the ready….

Laura Parks on 22nd of December 2011

It is disturbing that you think that your views are superior to mine and therefore mine should be ridiculed. I find it unfortunate that you feel mild embarrassment at my beliefs, and a need to educate me, please don’t waste your time.
Your views are your own and everyone has the right to express them and believe what they wish, without prejudice. That goes for Christians too.
Don’t be so arrogant, things get cut from movies and television all the time this unfortunately for your sake was cut! That’s showbiz!

SarahB on 22nd of December 2011

Dear Richard Spencer,

There’s a difference between ‘good manners’ (of which your comment is not a stunning example, by the way) and ‘bending over backwards to avoid giving offence to the easily offendable’.

Do you think Jesus would have been offended by the song? I doubt it.

Johnny beamish on 22nd of December 2011

Im a Christian and I literally wet myself at Tim’s song. It’s witty, light hearted and couldn’t possibly cause offence – unless you are a fundamentalist…in which case I hope you enjoy listening to Tim’s music when you get to heaven, because take a look at giraffes, God has a sense of humour even if we don’t! Merry Christmas one and all – the world has bigger problems right now.

Kel Varnsen on 22nd of December 2011

I’m not a Christian so I can’t comment on what could possibly be offensive to them but maybe it was cut because it wasn’t funny. The polite laughter from the audience was testament to that. I thought this sort of shtick died with Richard Stilgoe and Flanders and Swann. Wishful thinking I guess.

steph naylor on 22nd of December 2011

i look forward to you having a pop at Allah for your next trick. Or are you not brave / funny enough?

jane groves on 22nd of December 2011

how riduculous that you’ve been cut from jonathan ross show by a narrow minded knob. we love you tim.x

Mark K on 22nd of December 2011

Richard Spencer, maybe you should listen to “If you open your mind too much” also by “Minchin”, ya wally… seriously, if you havent a sense of humour, what the hell are you doing here, you troll?

Me think you doth protest too much Dicky, your pretendy bloke in the sky would not approve… surely as a “Christian” you should stop throwing stones and forgive… hypocrite!

Minchin fumes after ITV cuts song » Pickersleigh Community Watch on 22nd of December 2011

[…] “It’s not a particularly original idea, but it’s quite cute,” wrote the comedian on his blog. […]

Karen on 22nd of December 2011

Is it 2011 or the bloody dark ages? is it?
Jeezuz, I thought this was bloody hilarious as is all of Tim’s stuff. Intelligent, thoughtful, near the mark, rather interesting and brilliant. I am really disappointed in the JR show, I expect Jonathon is too but since he’s on the payroll he doesn’t have much say. What a load of humourless, fearfilled bollocks. Bloody religion, God must hate it…..Peter F grow a pair already!

Link Loving 22.12.11 « Casper ter Kuile on 22nd of December 2011

[…] Tim Minchin is brilliant. And should be on the Jonathan Ross show. […]

Steve Parish on 22nd of December 2011

Tim I am a brand new fan, from ABC Opera House/AB Show. Geeze ABC had the balls and I am proud of em! You sing what’s been in my head for a life time and for that I luv your work. Let’s face it mate you will never win em all. Nonetheless you are getting through if nothing else giving us lower mortals the courage to ‘say it like it is’ from the heart. The world is filled to overflowing with fairy tales, many expressed in very destructive ways. As a damaged son of a pentecostal preacher I loved your song, also adore Woddy! hang in there mate. Tom on the show, now there’s a song!

David on 22nd of December 2011

Tim, I think this might be an opportunity.
The opportunity for a small experiment in technology. Technology may be the wrong label, some may choose freedom of speech or democracy, other indignation, but the label matters little.
I have no doubt you are too much of a modest and humble person to suggest it yourself explicitly, but your fans can initiate it for you.
In effect they already have given the number of tweet, facebook likes ( and I have hope the google +1 are coming along). The experiment is simple and beautiful: can we get more people to see the your video than the censored show?
An it is an important experiment, it would tell us how far we have gone since the days when banned booked were passed from hand to hand in hidden dark alleys.
So, here it is. How about giving it a go?

Of course, I should say, this is a great song!

Hope you get some sun for Christmas and some water to turn into white wine too.

Martyn on 22nd of December 2011

It strikes me that Richard Spencer needs to teach himself good manners before preaching about them to other people (a parable about specks and logs springs to mind). He addresses you as if you’re attending some sort of public school, “Dear Minchin.”

I would have thought that it was good manners to have begun the message with, ‘Dear Tim’, or, perhaps more, formally, ‘Dear Mr Minchin’. But, then again, perhaps good manners only needs to occur one way?

Richard Spencer on 22nd of December 2011

Dear Minchin,

You, yourself, write: “He did this because he’s scared of the ranty, shit-stirring, right-wing press, and of the small minority of Brits who believe they have a right to go through life protected from anything that challenges them in any way.”

I have to say that I find it offensive to put Jesus, the Son of God, along side Woody Allen. I don’t think that that “challenges me in any way”, I simply think that it is blatantly offensive to many people.

I very much doubt that I would have watched Ross’ programme, which isn’t really my style, so the exercise of editorial discretion hasn’t “protected” me from anything.

Good Manners is not, I would ask you to try to understand, an old fashioned concept that can be ignored. It is, quite simply, bad manners to deliberately offend anyone (to your knowlege listening) or a substantial proportion of the community, whether they are listening/viewing or not.

To be very blunt: Grow Up! It is not clever to try to shock people.

theWeir on 22nd of December 2011


What a pants situation. Can’t be fun to have poured yourself into something that got canned for what I’d agree is a bit of a nonsense reason. I think the Ross track-record may have something to do with it. Not that it’s much consolation.

I’d be gladly described as a Jesus-follower. And wouldn’t choose to be offended by your song. I might not agree with your worldview, but I can respect your right to have a different worldview. Do you respect mine?

“The appropriate reaction to people who think Jesus is a supernatural being is mild embarrassment, sighing tolerance and patient education.”

Not sure you do. You patronise, but do you respect?

I’ll be asking God (who loves you, by the way) to be close to you and give you the grace to forgive Mr P Fincham and move on. Hope that doesn’t offend you either ;->

Seriously, hope you are able to get over the rage.

Mysticl on 22nd of December 2011

Never mind Tim. We still love you ;) My husband was thrilled when I told him you had a new video out and absolutely ecstatic when I told him it was about Jesus.

I also grabbed a download of the video in case the powers that be decide to come down on you with a hammer for posting this. Thanks so much for sharing .. it’s like food to the starving when you put up another of your gems! By the way … all you reading this … pls donate generously to your local food banks this Christmas … it’s getting tough out there for some folks and for me Christmas is a wonderful time to pay it forward if you can .. but give the Sally Ann a pass … I hate charity with strings attached.

Dan W on 22nd of December 2011

Any money this was Jonathan Ross’s mgmt distancing him from anything vaguely controversial. They wont make the same mistake twice will they? unfortuanately everybody is scared of offending someone these days.

If our tabloids weren’t so reliant on filling their pages on a daily basis with bullshit for the chav masses then we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

happy birthday jesus.


GLYNIS BROWN on 22nd of December 2011


Daniel on 22nd of December 2011

Tim you are so right. Look forward to you song about Mohammed during EID.

Despina Fabbri on 22nd of December 2011

Tim, I really don’t know how you managed to memorise so many funny and complicated lyrics in such a short time – takes me weeks and I’m always memorising other people’s work so can listen to recordings (opera, in case you’re wondering, not yet another Kylie Minogue tribute act). Much respect to you sir for all your work! Maybe you really are Jesus? Was amazing memory one of his divine skills? I forget.

Anyway, it’s a great song, don’t let the bigots get you down. I know whose work will stand the test of time (HINT: it won’t be theirs).

Happy Christmas!

Caroline on 22nd of December 2011

Thanks for that! When I saw that Tim was on the show, I was going to watch it- you have saved me the trouble and I have now watched the only bit I was intending to watch!
Great song Tim!

Thanks and Merry Christmas! :)

Marguerite Carter Kerr on 22nd of December 2011

Don’t understand what Peter Fincham is on. As one of the usually silent majority I was annoyed enough to complain to ITV. I’ve just listened to your banned song and like all your work I love it. I am a Christian and am in no way offended by it. It’s called having a sense of humour. I’d have thought Peter Fincham could have found enough in the world to be concerned about let alone in the Media itself. Instead he picks on you!! Is this a weird form of flattery? Happy Christmas Tim

Jim on 22nd of December 2011

The only reason I was going to watch the show. This country is going backward fast. Who are these morons that think they have the right NOT to be offended. Lots of things offend me. You know what I do about it? Nothing! ITV needs to have the stick removed from their ass. Rant over. :-) Now to email itv. Loved the song. My new favourite Xmas song. ;-) if anyone has a direct email address for capitan fucknut himself that would be nice.

Rev Keith on 22nd of December 2011

Tim, sorry to hear your song was cut and clearly the cut hurt you, as you had worked hard on it when already stressed. As a Christian, and a church leader, I do praise Jesus and think your contemporary references are very thought provoking, and challenging to the believer and unbeliever; though of course there is a bit of a question whether Jesus had long hair so perhaps not like you after all? (Not sure if you hang about with prostitutes either?)

I am disapointed by the cut and wonder if the doubt of the producer came from the live audience’s laughter, it just sounds too nervous and unsure, however the song to my ears is great.

Minchin fumes after ITV cuts song | andybundy.com on 22nd of December 2011

[…] “It’s not a particularly original idea, but it’s quite cute,” wrote the comedian on his blog. […]

Exiled Star on 22nd of December 2011

OMG, unbelievable.
Doesn’t the UK have laws about freedom of speech?

I thought your idea was great BTW.

Pedgla on 22nd of December 2011

ITV are quite happy to air programs which are factually incorrect and show footage of video games making them out to be real life. But cut creative works of genius not to potentially offend people who probably wouldn’t watch that kind of program anyway. Arse gravy!!!

Sarita on 22nd of December 2011

Well, to be honest, if it had not been axed we would not have seen this new act of genius from your good self as most of the said program’s line up is not appealing to us! I am a Christian and do not find it offensive at all, in fact I welcome any new slant or idea on what is becoming a taboo subject.
Keep on being yourself, we can’t wait for your next witty take on life.
Happy Christmas – or Mid-Winter! X

Ann in Australia on 22nd of December 2011

What a fabulous song that was! I loved it. Your songs are brilliant and I can’t believe some uptight arse in charge has pulled it. :(
Keep doing what you’re doing Tim – you’ll always have the right people behind you.

Ian T on 22nd of December 2011


Send your complaints here, I will be!

Modern Christmas Carol of the Day - The Daily What on 22nd of December 2011

[…] did this,” Minchin wrote on his blog, “because he’s scared of the ranty, sh*t-stirring, right-wing press, and of the small […]

Turikumwe on 22nd of December 2011

Dear Tim,

That is unutterably crappy to have worked so hard, whilst ill, to a tight deadline, with so much else to prepare for, and then to have all of that hard work thrown back in your face.

Truly, that does suck. And it is a great song (especially the line about parthenogenesis!).

But you did mention the freakish control of a minority section of society. You also know that the type of comedy you do is going to get right up their noses. That’s what we love about you. You say what the rest of us are thinking.

In simply being you, you’ll always be in direct conflict with the crazies. Without them, you’d lose half your repertoire. Where else would you find that level of retardation against which to fire your paintball of progressive thinking?

Yes. It’s a total shame that the song won’t be aired. Yet, suffering for your art, you’ve actually achieved a lot more than a guest appearance on a Christmas special.

You’ve highlighted the power of the ‘ranty, shit-stirring, right-wing press.’ And not only that, but the extent to which it dominates ‘democracy’. Trust me, I’m still fuming after Cameron’s latest twaddle about Britain being the anus through which the light of Heaven shines (I assume that’s what he was saying, I tuned out after the by-line).

Anyway. It’s people such as yourself that keep chipping away at this ridiculous Cromwellian attitude. Please, keep going! It’s not boring to rant about these issues – they’re important ones.

My only suggestion is, next time you feel like making a guest appearance, throw your weight behind the Secular Europe Campaign. At least you’ll be in good company.

Chin up. A life without controversy would be very dull indeed.

Ed on 22nd of December 2011

ITV cut a harmless song about a fictional character, yet still decide its acceptable to infect my eyes and ears with Jeremy Kyle every day?!? WTF?!?!

I believe the Devil has a special corner of Hell set aside for Fincham to atone for that sin……or he would if the Devil was real! ;-)

Martyn on 22nd of December 2011

Boy, the PC brigade really know how to make a mess of things, don’t they?! A shame really, as the song is quite clever and makes some interesting and challenging assertions, which should be debated properly by those who both support and disagree with them.

However, as usual, we end up castrated by the people who run things and have our decisions made for us. Free speech may exist, but free listening, free reading, and free viewing, do not. We are not allowed to decide on an issue for ourselves. Oh no, we have to have a faceless being in a suit decide for us.

It’s a real shame.

Keep challenging us and asking us questions, Tim. We all, believers and non-believers alike need to hear your questions, and others like them, and then contemplate/discuss them and respond to them.

My only criticism of you in this is the line in the blog, which says, “The appropriate reaction to people who think Jesus is a supernatural being is mild embarrassment, sighing tolerance and patient education.”

That may be what you feel, but it is interesting how some people of faith are criticised for claiming that they ‘know it all’, but that others, generally atheists, feel able, with almost the same breath, to make their own sweeping generalisations that assert that they know it all. A curious paradox that borders on hypocrisy one might say.

Anyway, as a Christian minister who will be working over the next few days as we celebrate the festival that has been adopted to mark the birth of Jesus, I wish you a Happy Christmas.

Joseph `Kearneyt on 22nd of December 2011

Just watched it. I think Jesus would be very flattered. If you get a loaf of bread and a crate of wine in the post you know you’ve hit the mark. Love the song. Personally I hope people are offended by your song because I’m offended by being required to take the bronze age claims of wishful thinkers seriously.

Chris H on 22nd of December 2011

Good on you, Tim. Shame that we Brits (and Aussies!) have become so wary of criticism, challenges or anything that could be perceived – often incorrectly – to offend some section of society. Would Monty Python be produced in these less enlightened times? Probably not…
Keep up the excellent work.

Matt Bland on 22nd of December 2011

Censoring Tim Minchin on Jonathan Ross’s show just goes to prove what the channel really stands for, ITV = Insipid Talentless & Vacuous

Leo on 22nd of December 2011

Complaint sent. Keep on doing what you’re doing Mr. Minchin!

Chris Bell on 22nd of December 2011

it’s pretty simple really.

snip the cable. the piano is acoustic

be rid of the television show and keep the piano.


David Price on 22nd of December 2011

Absolutely brilliant, not offensive at all. You deserve your own show not to be cut from Ross’s show. Surprisingly this has started to make me feel christmasy finally. Thanks Tim

Sara on 22nd of December 2011

Tim, I’ve loved you since I watched you in a BBC radio show with Mark Watson, donkey years ago.

Sod the buggers, you’re very funny and will remain being so.

Happy Christmas! :)

Sambob Blagden on 22nd of December 2011

Tim is Jesus? I fucking knew it!

Claire Burn on 22nd of December 2011

Looking at the press on this song, I was expecting some truly offensive stuff, but then you listen to it and realise the press just misrepresented things as usual. ITV are just terrified of the slightest, vague, chance that they might offend someone. As someone earlier has said, what did they want? You go Tim, it’s a great song! (White wine is still the favourite though xx)

Codex on 22nd of December 2011

Sent the following email to ITV:

Dear Sir/Madam,

I have never complained to a media company before now. However, I am writing to express my anger at Time Minchin being dropped from the Jonathon Ross show. Dropped not for any editorial reason, despite the excuse you have given… dropped due to moral cowardice and failing to support free speech!

The song wasn’t even particularly controversial. It was pretty complimentary towards the figure of Jesus.

If ITV are going to cave in to the slightest possibility of something being deemed ‘offensive’ to somebody, they may as well stop broadcasting. At the very least they should drop their hypocritical stance by acknowledging that many people (including many christians) find your censorship offensive! Or are you saying that bland pro-religious views are the only ones allowed on ITV? Besides which, over 50% of the population are non-religious and this figure is growing. Long term you are shooting yourself in the foot. Perhaps ITV has decided that bland, unintelligent, censored, MOR programming is the way forward? No wonder your audience is leaving in droves.

ITV used to be a brave and well respected broadcaster. Whatever vestiges of that legacy still clung to ITV have been swept away in my eyes. I shall not (now) be watching the Jonathon Ross show. In fact I shall be watching as little ITV programming as possible and shall urge everyone I know, including those online, to do the same.

Shame on you ITV! Hypocrisy, censorship and bias = moral cowardice!

Dave on 22nd of December 2011

It’s amazing that here in the UK religion is fast losing its power over people. Yet there are still little enclaves, such as the media and in politics where it still is able to oppress.

Martin West on 22nd of December 2011

Don’t you just hate “The Establishment”, wherever it rears its unimaginative head !

Anna on 22nd of December 2011

A spineless move by ITV and I’ve e-mailed them to tell them so.

Saw you in Dublin recently Tim. Chin up, you rock.

Christian Brideson on 22nd of December 2011

ITV wake up and drag yourselves into this century!! What gives you the right to engage an artist to write a song, no mean feat by any standard, bring them in to record the said song and then get cold feet because ‘someone’ thinks that it may offend. I have listened to the song and find nothing in it’s content offensive.
Boooh ITV!

Mark on 22nd of December 2011

Praise be to Tim Jesus Minchin.

Paul Baker on 22nd of December 2011

You are a lovely, thoughtful man.
And Peter Fincham is an arse.

Calum on 22nd of December 2011

Stupid decision to cut it, though your patronising attitude towards those ignorant Christians in this blog is hardly helpful. There are many well-educated Christians, though I suppose it takes an educated person to know one. Disappointing assertions, Tim.

emma on 22nd of December 2011

Woody Allen Jesus…So frickin’ awesome!!!!! Thank you Tim!

Lottie on 22nd of December 2011

Having been brought up in a religious household and still, though not practising, quite sensitive to genuine offensive references to Jesus/Christianity, I can honestly say it didn’t offend me in the slightest.
Sorry to hear you had worked so hard only to have it cut, I can see why you’re disappointed, I work for myself and it’s a nightmare when you have to put a lot of work in only for something to fall through – especially when you’re unwell too.

Best wishes for a lovely Christmas Tim, keep up the good work – I enjoy watching your shows.

Jen on 22nd of December 2011

Saw this at Stand Up and Rock on Tuesday – cried with laughter and couldn’t get the tune out of my head for hours! Who else could get parthenogenesis into a song? ITV are idiots for cutting the highlight of an otherwise tedious evening with Wossy!

Praise be to Tim Minchin!

Chris W. on 22nd of December 2011

I think it’s a crazy decision and complained to ITV ([email protected]). I got the following response:

“Thank you for your recent email regarding Tim Minchin on the The
Jonathan Ross Show.

We often make changes to programmes before transmission and on this
occasion we felt that the song didn’t quite work editorially.

I can confirm that your comments have been noted here at ITV Viewer

May I take this opportunity to thank you for taking the time to contact
us here at ITV Viewer Services.

If we can be of further assistance please do not hesitate to contact us.

Kind regards”

Martyn on 22nd of December 2011

Wow, just heard about this. What a complete bloody cop out and the song is brilliant. Have posted to face book so others will hear it and share- especially fun as there are some fundamentalist american christians connected as work contacts.

blessed are us atheists, hope you set up some more dates in the UK next year (saw you twice at Green man)

Martin Dunn on 22nd of December 2011

Great song, ridiculous in the extreme that it was cut.
How very sad

pamsfriend on 22nd of December 2011

This song and its impact will last long past Mr Peter Fincham and his impact. It’s a wonderfully complex view of the many aspects of Jesus which people hold at different times but really do seem over the top when put all together – Quantum Komodo Dragon et al. Rest easy that the work is now out in the world and, as all art, will live on.

LP22 on 22nd of December 2011

Properly dowloaded and posted on you tube in the event of a take down. Don’t worry, Tim, we have your back.

Angie Hibbitt on 22nd of December 2011

Oh Tim – the song is great and Peter Fincham and his pals are idiots. Don’t you go doubting or punishing yourself – we think its funny and clever and thats all that matters. Fuck em, just go and have a great christmas with the folks that matter, Oh and straight after the festivities go and sit down and write a song about the experience – I’m sure THAT one will definitely be worth listening to!!!! Love ya xxxx

Dan Rodemsky on 22nd of December 2011

That’s a great song! Too bad it was pulled.

Sarah A on 22nd of December 2011

Hey! Watched Tim perform this song at the Hammersmith Apollo on Tueaday and it was amazing. ITV don’t know what they’re missing!!!

James west on 22nd of December 2011

F**king brilliant!!!

Isobel on 22nd of December 2011

I giggled all the way through and thought it aptly cute and fairly sympathetic. Then asked the old gal who is a Christian and was also giggling all the way through. She said, “that’s a shame but yes that’s going to offend the sensitives who objected to The Life of Brian”. I said, “well that’s no reason to remove an only-mildly-offensive-if you believe-in-Dawkins’-pink-elephants-and-pefer-to-think-that-Jesus-couldn’t-have-a-giggle-at-a-bit-of-Woody-comparison-like-most-of-us Christmas giggle from the majority! We’d have had to watch a sycophantic twat and a self obsessed poisoned dwarf for an hour to get to the Minchin magic, but we would!”

Robin on 22nd of December 2011

Long hair, bearded and bare foot, you forgot to included “Hippie” in your list at the end

Steve on 22nd of December 2011

Perhaps it’s because your a “comedian” and the song was not exactly rib tickling. Not every thing that is created after being commissioned is used. As you say “it’s not the end of the world.” So why bother with this blog. I am sure you were handsomely rewarded.

Julie W on 22nd of December 2011

from reading the large amount of comments left I need say no more! An immense talent being denied to millions – sod em Tim – and get well soon.

Linda on 22nd of December 2011

I haven’t watched Jonathan Ross since he moved to ITV as I knew the show would be sanitised – sanitisation is the bread and butter of ITV. They no doubt spent weeks wetting themselves during Jonathan’s first few shows. As someone else has said, this is tame by Tim standards. My advice to ITV is if you don’t want people to think for themselves, don’t book Tim Minchin!

P.S. you’re right Tim, the tune wasn’t your best works, but the lyrics were just fine:). Don’t let the buggers get you down.

GC on 22nd of December 2011

Thanks so much Tim for posting the video and letting people make up their own minds about this. I honestly thought it was a delightful and funny performance and am struggling to see what anyone could extract from it that would offensive. That they would ask you to put forward a piece and then not even include it in the show is a kick in the teeth. Apparently any jokes or humour involving the good lord are taboo. It doesn’t say much for the stretngth of peoples’ convinctions.

Merry Xmas: http://funnypictures.co.uk/post/13556689320/low-carbing

Jon O on 22nd of December 2011

As with all of Tim’s stuff, brilliant song!

But when was the last time ITV had that piano tuned?!… 1997?!?!? :-s

Paul on 22nd of December 2011

Brilliant. Bollocks to ITV. One show I won’t be watching now.

Amy on 22nd of December 2011

well it must be on in australia, its been advertised for this saturday, if its on, i will watch it :)

Just Another Supporter on 22nd of December 2011

It’s important to bombard ITV with as many complaints as they think they may have avoided by cutting the song. Except that all the negativity is directed at them themselves, and the offensive nature of their censorship.

Upside for Tim is that the clip’s noteriety will guarantee it, and him, plenty of exposure.

Can’t get rid of the image of geeks belting zombie Jesus with a shovel. Classic.

Joe Hendry on 22nd of December 2011

The song IS brilliant – clever and funny as usual Tim. I hope you get over feeling crap about it…….understandable.

Nicola Thomas on 22nd of December 2011

That is just PC gone to extremes, people really need to get a life and chill out. Seriously, if people are offended then they can change channels, i don’t think that the people that watch “The Jonathan Ross Show” are the kind to be easily offended. Stop censoring are TV, we are adults and can choose what to watch ourselves…..Jesus Christ!! Whoops might get struck off for that one.
Tim, please keep doing what you do best, you are amazing!! Happy Christmas and a Merry New Year to you and your family x

Sue Holland on 22nd of December 2011

Poms have lost their sense of humour… they have replaced it by standing on the moral high ground,,scared to offend anyone. Another polished performance.. can’t say it was one of my faves just love watching you and appreciate your brilliant talents. Are you coming to the Melbourne comedy festivalthis year??? I live in hope.
BTW your hosting of The Prom was exceptional entertainment.

Linksplat – 22/12/11 « Cubik's Rube on 22nd of December 2011

[…] Hairy comedy music god Tim Minchin wrote and performed a new song about Jesus for the Jonathan Ross show recently. It wasn’t […]

Dom Gradwell on 22nd of December 2011

Jaysus Tim, even RTE (Irish television) would have allowed that in the dark days of catholic dominance…..

Any did you get paid? …… Well?

Emma on 22nd of December 2011

Good grief, I’m a Christian and I also think it was funny, not offensive. I’m quite happy to watch Tim Minchin as (1) he’s hilarious and (2) we’re allowed different viewpoints. There are things that Tim’s said in other shows that I have found somewhat offensive, but then I choose to watch him, so it’s my problem, not his. Get a grip Pete Fincham!

Libby F on 22nd of December 2011

Witty, funny, all the usual Minchin stuff. What is ITV thinking of?? Pathetic decision when you look at some of the garbage that they quite happily screen. They are scared by your superior ‘genius-ness’ Tim!

Tim fan on 22nd of December 2011

If harmless ditties about Jesus don’t find favour then try one about aTV executive… Make him feel “important”… better yet, make him sound inadequate (impotent) and make him sound humourless and anally retentive, but light on his loafers; and don’t forget to make him TV, as well… Bladdy right-wing fascists!

Alan Dapré on 22nd of December 2011

Fantastic song – packed with wordplay, insight and cool key changes. No offence given, none taken. I am more offended by the witless X Factor being on ITV. Maybe if you had released the song as a Christmas single/download and let ITV have 51% of the profits then I am sure it would never have been cut. Still, there’s always Easter.

Minchin fumes after ITV cuts song | TAWNET on 22nd of December 2011

[…] “It’s not a particularly original idea, but it’s quite cute,” wrote the comedian on his blog. […]

George on 22nd of December 2011

To be fair Tim, they may have cut it because it was more than 3 minutes long.

Mark Hoult on 22nd of December 2011

It’s a good job you didn’t plan on singing a song comparing L Ron Hubbard to Kim Jong-il (though it wouldn’t have been too far fetched).

That would really have kicked up a stink with Tom Cruise and the ITV bigwigs.

databoy on 22nd of December 2011

If I heard correctly, Jonathon Ross said of the song, “I love it,” there at the end of the video.

TheGirlFromIpanema on 22nd of December 2011

Huh……did you just hear that? I think Jesus just watched the video and giggled!

Keep up the good work, Tim!

SarahB on 22nd of December 2011

They’re not even bothering to read the complaints.

‘Please don’t send me the usual canned response over a possibly-fake name’, I said (the things turn my stomach. I’d genuinely prefer no response at all). So what do I get? That’s right, the same canned response I’ve seen posted elsewhere in this thread.


Jade on 22nd of December 2011

What!? This song was cut? Compared to other works of tim this was so tame and polite. Here was me thinking it was going be something more similar to his storm poem to have been cut from the show because of people that may take offence. (and also i don’t think that people who are offened by such light jokes like that watch jonathan ross anyway)
This song was great it put a smile on my face and the jokes were quite lighthearted, there was nothing wrong with it at all.
Thanks for uplaoding this Tim ^_^ your awesome per usuall <3

Matt on 22nd of December 2011

Is there now going to be a song about Pete, Tim?

Mags on 22nd of December 2011

I blame Jeremy Clarkson

Chris Bell on 22nd of December 2011


“Not Perfect” literally keeps me alive, When I get pissed off or down on myself i impose it on my neighbours.

Orchestra helps. A little more amplification would help too.

This is a great song. I think you just mixed sex and Jesus up a little.

I have been watching “The Hour”.

You can’t mix two controversial topics on British television, there might be a riot. Stick to one.

There must have been an antecedent controversial topic. Or an excuse for a riot.

Have a glass of white if you make it to Perth (best whites from the Swan Valley i reckon), in the meantime i go back to not being perfect.

I hope your dad and your mum and your nan and your bub have some time in the sun,

Cos there ain’t a lot of it going around

I’ll be singing your song in my head

At which point you introduce a coda.


Anon on 22nd of December 2011

Not really surprised, It’s ITV where everyone complains to them about everything. I remember a while back even Fred the weatherman got silly complaints as well… by god we live on an island where majority of the population need to grow a pair and quit complaining about silly things.

Stefan Dubois on 22nd of December 2011

Tim, I think you’re one of the most special talents to have emerged on the comedy stage in the last few years. I love your songs, your self-deprecating humour, your intelligence and your humility.

I watched the clip, enjoyed it, wished the song had been longer and cannot, for the life of me, see why it was cut.

Considering Peter Fincham’s iconoclastic comedic background, I would have thought he’d have been the first to promote and support this.

Shame on him for becoming a ‘suit’.

Please continue with your wonderful work. Maybe next time I’m at the Edinburgh Fringe and see you walk past with your family, I’ll summon up the nerve to congratulate you in person.

Much love

Stefan Dubois

Sabrina on 22nd of December 2011

I saw you perform this at Uncaged Monkeys so I’m pretty happy. It was absolutely hilarious!

Jillian Dressler on 22nd of December 2011

From the great Bill Hicks (http://youtu.be/Whcc8lO9fao?t=3m39s https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Bill_Hicks)

“… This idea of “I’m offended”. Well I’ve got news for you. I’m offended by a lot of things too. Where do I send my list? Life is offensive. You know what I mean? Just get in touch with your outer adult. And grow up. And move on. Reasonable people don’t write letters because… A: They have lives and B, they understand it’s just TV. C: If they see something they don’t like, something they do like might be on later. I’ve seen many comics I’ve hated. I’ve seen many shows that have offended me. I’ve never written a letter. I just go about my life.”

Greg H on 22nd of December 2011

On the subject of children and Santa I find this blog post on “The Memeing of Life” a worthwhile resource: http://parentingbeyondbelief.com/blog/?p=6656

In fact the whole blog is a lovely support network for secular parents. Dale, who runs the blog, is no qualified expert on child rearing; just an ordinary secular parent happy to share his insight and suggestions with us fellow heathens.

The Big Unit on 22nd of December 2011

Peter Fincham probably approved the content of the “Review of the Year”. Just goes to show that ITV still cannot do comedy, even when a piece of beauty, quality and wit is handed to them on a plate.

Trevor Jones on 22nd of December 2011

Ah, such indignation, and righteous it is too.


In this world little changes and those who would question the words of restraint, the words and fears and tales of monsters under the bed, those spectres that underpin the control of an under-educated and over-scared populace will never be given free reign.

After all, isn’t this why Jesus died in the first place? Jesus isn’t a man, a person, He is an idea, an ideal, a template for freedom and removal from the control of those with smaller minds but larger ambitions. Those who would say ‘but I know best’ and shall relieve you of all thoughts and responsibilities for change.

I like and admire Tim, as I do Bill Hicks, and all the other fighters for freedom. But it is a losing battle and the one thing about visionaries is that they are always going to be watched.

Just not by the right people at the right times.

Kris Jones on 22nd of December 2011

What’s really disappointing about this is that Peter Fincham used to run one of the more adventurous independent television production houses on behalf of its owners, Griff Rhys Jones and Mel Smith. I guess his experience of having to resign as controller of BBC1 has made him overcautious.

Lesley on 22nd of December 2011

Thank you for playing this for us at Uncaged Monkeys – delightful! Maybe Peter Finchamn just doesn’t like key changes…? Or joy?

Lynne Harrison on 22nd of December 2011

Dear Ann,

I assume you exist as you seem to be busy writing the same response to everyone who is complaining about the absurd censorship of Tim Minchin’s song “Woody Allen Jesus” on the Jonathaon Ross Show. To hide behind “it just didn’t work editorially” is cowardice. The editor passed it, Your top bosses ran scared.

I realise you are all paranoid in the wake of Sachsgate, The-Jeremy-Clarkson-storm-in-a-teacup and the Leveson Enquiry which has everyone in media in a spin, but censorship of this kind is BAD. It is not Christian. It stifles debate. You just gave me another reason not to watch ITV just in case Coronation Street wasn’t enough.

Chris on 22nd of December 2011

Having just lost a true pioneer in the atheist movement, it heartens me to know we still have public figures who are still prepared to fight ignorance. Never stop.

Lesley Cowin on 22nd of December 2011

I thought the song was very clever and very funny. I deplore the cowardice shown by ITV and hope they reverse the decision. Only idiots would consider this song would cause offence, because only those with a sense of humour deficiency would be offended.

Chris Boyle on 22nd of December 2011

Haven’t spent a fair bit of dosh on Tim and his work over the time since I discovered him, I feel chagrined that my free Tim is denied me. The fact that banal TV is considered better than anything vaguely challenging is somehow so much more disturbing. You wouldn’t ask the populace to restrict it’s diet to nothing but brown bread, and entertainment shouldn’t be any different.

Vive la revolution!

Simon on 22nd of December 2011

What a joke, I find it quite laughable that this song be deemed inappropriate or offensive. Its a lighthearted, and realy quite mild, JOKE people! The stupidity of some people. I know for a fact that all my christian friends would find this song to be funny and have the intelligence to realise that it is not an attack on their faith. Smells like censorship to me… Nice work Tim, you funny, intelligent fucker. And merry Xmas.

Karen on 22nd of December 2011

I have to say I’m very disappointed with this. What century are we in?! It’s just typical of some bigwit deciding what we can and can’t watch. I see there are some comments here from Christians who aren’t at all offended, so what exactly is the problem? I guess most Daily Mail readers will be happy, though..

The good thing is that it will now get a lot more airplay via the internet. Tim, you were great at Uncaged Monkeys. Keep up the good work!

Aaron West on 22nd of December 2011

Love your work Tim, bloody awful decisions made by ITV

The Grumpy Scotsman on 22nd of December 2011

As always, a great Minchin composition. Well written, well played, and very funny. It’s a damn shame that Peter Fincham doesn’t have any active brain cells or a sense of humour /-:

Andy Lewin on 22nd of December 2011

What a bunch of fucking idiots at the ITV. There is nothing wrong with anything in the song apart from it has common logic in there. Possibly something the ITV execs lack. Really gutted for you Tim, it is a great tune and very funny. I agree with Munch and shall send a letter of complaint to the fucking idiots.

Emma Geraln on 22nd of December 2011

Sadly the blinkered idiots still have a lot of power. We just need to keep plugging away with reality.

Ada B on 22nd of December 2011

I got a reply from ITV within an hour:
“Thank you for your email regarding THE JONATHAN ROSS SHOW

We often make changes to programmes before transmission and on this occasion we felt that the song didn’t quite work editorially,

May I take this opportunity to thank you for taking the time to contact us here at ITV.

Kind regards

ITV Viewer Services”

Lou Mason on 22nd of December 2011

Well said Lloyd! I think your comment


sums things up exactly!

twobob on 22nd of December 2011

Anti-Faith songs at Christmas.

Somehow genius, somewhat destined to the cutting room floor

Unlucky, Australian Long-haired funny-man virtuoso Jesus.
Great playing.

Nic on 22nd of December 2011

Great song Tim. At least some of us got to see it. No wonder you are pissed off about the whole thing. People can turn things off if they don’t like it and it’s not even offensive. I’ve seen you live so I know you can be more offensive than that :-) Merry Christmas to you and your family

Astret on 22nd of December 2011

I’m really annoyed that ITV has pulled your content, Tim. I certainly will be channel hopping when JR is on.
Just a thought about how you responded to your daughter’s question about death, Santa, etc. And this is mostly because I think Richard Dawkins has some great points but goes a bit far into encouraging blind faith in science. Try suggesting that we don’t know until we try, and some things we can’t try, and we just have to take a guess.
So, what happens when we die? I don’t know, I haven’t done it. I’ve known other people who do, their bodies stop working, they become just meat and bones. But what it feels like for them? Maybe it is like a lovely dream of heaven, or a terrible experience. I hope the first and not the second.
And as for Santa, we could stay up and try to catch him, but like Shrodinger’s cat, once we look, that affects the observation. A great opportunity to introduce some of the more exciting principles of physics.

ross keogh on 22nd of December 2011

like everything you do,an hilarious work of art for us peasants lord to enjoy!!haha u the dogs bollocks-thats a good thing.cant wait to get the chance to see you live sometime.

Vicky on 22nd of December 2011

Loved it! Can’t understand why people have to be so overcautious about every bloody thing… …it’s not like there’s anything to damn them in the non-afterlife!
Have a wonderful Christmas Tim. Thank you for giving us all some of the biggest belly laughs of the last few years, long may you continue.
Incidentally, the best memory I have of you this year wasn’t a giggle at all; it was the truly beautiful half hour recital before the Plymouth show the other week.
Peace to you and yours x

Henry on 22nd of December 2011

Someone clearly has too much starch in his shorts. It’s not a praise song, but it can clearly be taken as pro-Jesus — and it’s very witty and intelligent as well. You had other scriptural choices that could have led you to a Jerry Springer Donald Trump cannibal Jesus, but you went with the happy, positive stuff instead. Bummer.

Regarding Christmas, I say the same thing to my kids for Santa as I do for ghosts, vampires, and Jesus — “People like to tell fun stories about that.”

Thomas54 on 22nd of December 2011

A brilliant piece of poetic musical humour. Tim Minchin *is* the Man.

Disgraceful that PC idjuts at ITV deemed it inappropriate.

Watched it six times so far on YT. Great to see so many mirrors.

Ana Morphic on 22nd of December 2011

I LOVE your song writing – and I think that this song was indeed witty and funny, but silly and not to be taken seriously. Doesn’t that ring true for all of your comedy though? I have been following you online/on telly for ages, and I think anyone who has heard of you know you are not interested in offending people on telly. However, *fuck the pope* was one of your best!! :) (that’s why sticking it online works best)

I just wonder WHAT went through Peter DickFaces head when he *made the decision*… weird. Keep up the good work Tim – we love ya. xx

Bandwagon on 22nd of December 2011

Before, during and after the J Ross show I reckon we should all make a ‘complaint’ to ITV about it’s content, presentation, colour of the carpet etc anything random – after all, you don’t have to actually watch or hear something these days to complain about it & that complaint to be taken seriously, do you?!

Ian on 22nd of December 2011

Tim. Bloody brilliant song… I have added “1” to the number of complaints….

Dear Mike

(If it’s still Mike. If your shift has ended or ITV has drafted in further Christmas elves to cope with a large number of complaints, then “Dear whomsoever…”

I wish to register my complaint, and my disappointment, that ITV (seemingly Peter Fincham himself) has cut Tim Minchin’s song from the Jonathan Ross Christmas Special.

Tim is (or was) undoubtedly the most creative and talented of the guests and while I might have watched for Tom Cruise (going to see MI4 after Christmas and you may be showing a clip) or the Downton Abbey women (*please see separate postscript complaint below), I would have definitely watched for Tim Minchin.

Now I won’t bother.

I suspect, as Tim says on his blog, that you might have got several thousand complaints about his song had it been broadcast. I sincerely hope you get thousands more that it isn’t.

Christians (and those who are Christians at Christmas) don’t watch a Jonathan Ross Christmas Special to celebrate His birth (that of Jesus, not Jonathan) or to have their faith reaffirmed. They watch Christmas Songs of Praise and “Carols from (insert big city) Cathedral” for that.

Christians who watch Jonathan Ross know exactly what they are getting and wouldn’t, I surmise, be offended, on the whole. Non-Christians who watch Jonathan Ross, I suspect, comprise the majority of his audience.

The song is bloody funny and has a bit of reckless edge. Something which I wish ITV still had.

I look forward to my cut’n’paste reply.

Yours sincerely, etc

*PS Will someone tell the makers of Downton Abbey that Highclere Castle is in Hampshire, not Berkshire. They might update the end credits then…

Stephanie on 22nd of December 2011

I laughed until I cried. Then I got pissed with you Tim! You really hit the nail on the head with “ranty, shit-stirring, right-wing press, and of the small minority of [Brits] who believe they have a right to go through life protected from anything that challenges them in any way”. You can take out “Brits” and put in “people”. It’s the same here in the US and I imagine, everywhere. Who cares if they are offended? Let them be. Maybe it will make them think for themselves for the first time in their lives and work it out. Why do Christians, or any religious people, think they deserve to have their fantasy protected from criticism? And don’t say they don’t do any harm. There’s been plenty of harm done in the name of religion. It their beliefs are that fragile then they really need the challenge.

What you do Tim, is to be admired. You are my “Jesus” in that you spread important ideas using the big voice fame has afforded you. Comedy has never had the respect it deserves. You never see a comedy win an Oscar. Nobody offers you a Noble Prize for making the world a better place by making people laugh and think about the carnage of human suffering religion inflicts at the same time. But they should. Tim, you deserve that level of respect and acknowledgment. Comedy is a wonderful medium for getting contentious subjects talked about. Woody Allen did the same thing for many. George Carlin did it for me and I am forever grateful to him for it. I had always been an atheist growing up, but I didn’t really know why until he pointed it out to me. He made it ok for me to challenge all the crap my parents told me to believe but didn’t follow one little bit in their actions. I guess I was lucky to have total hypocrites for parents. It makes it a lot easier to see religion’s hypocrisy.

Tim, you have all of my love and respect. I’ll be writing a letter to the Jonathan Ross show about this. Don’t know if they care what Americans think about it, but I bet they do. Thank you Tim, for doing what you do. It’s not just silly funny stuff. It’s important work to be proud of. I’ve only given the world three more atheists. Think how many you have!

Holly on 22nd of December 2011

What a great performance! Really funny and I honestly don’t see how ITV could even begin to worry about getting a lot of complaints for it tbh :s Especially on a show like Jonathan’s.

Anyways I’ve sent an email of complaint in – Peter Fincham needs to grow a pair, honestly.

Jordan on 22nd of December 2011

Lets keep the pressure up on Twitter – suggested Tweet below! – spread far and wide!

@wossy @itv What do we want? #woodyallenjesus When do we want it? ITV1 23-Dec #timminchin (RETWEET!) youtu.be/_SFdUJLebzU

Lloyd on 22nd of December 2011

I just wrote this to ITV:


Dear ITV,

It has been brought to my attention that those in control of what may
or may not be broadcast ion ITV have decided that they should not
broadcast Tim Minchin’s singing a comedy song about Jesus on the
Jonathan Ross show this week. This is a very bad decision.

It is a bad decision for several reasons.

First, it is against the grain of the show itself. Viewers who choose
to tune in to Jonathan Ross do so knowing full well that it is a show
that will contain swearing of several sorts, including blasphemy, and
copious references to matters sexual, contentious, and ‘edgy’. Mr
Ross clearly prides himself on his ability to swear on television, and
make risqué jokes, and the show greatly benefits from the constant
feeling that anything might be said next. This feeling will be
considerably lessened when it becomes widely known that the show is
censored. Not only will this week’s show be harmed as a result of
this censorship, but all subsequent ones.

Second, it is unjustified. The song is not offensive to any sane
person. The song at no point advocates hatred or violence to be done
to Christians, nor does it criticise the person of Jesus. It is a
happy, silly, song which likens Jesus to various modern characters,
almost all of them virtuous or even heroic, No outrage it expressed
by the people in the studio during the recording. I am an atheist,
and would doubtless be offended by things said on various Christian
channels, or from the pulpits of local churches, but I choose not to
go to those churches nor watch those channels, and even if I did
encounter those expressed views, I would accept them as personal
opinions directed at an audience other than me. The song repeatedly
calls for Jesus to be praised, and goes along with the Christian
mythology of the bible. It might be interpreted as a sly satirical
swipe at some of the beliefs associated with Christianity, but that
would be for the listener to decide.

Third, the decision to censor is insulting to Christians. It suggests
that they are of such weak character and slow intellect, that they
would fail to spot that the song is harmless, and would either
collapse in tears or fly into a rage. It further suggests that
Christians are people to be feared because they might take violent
action in retaliation for this comedy song. At present, there is no
great threat of Christian terrorism in Britain, but actions like ITV’s
might put the idea into the head of a very stupid person.

Fourth, it is insulting to non-Christians, because it suggests that
they are an audience not to be catered for, that having non-Christian
beliefs is somehow offensive, that they have no right to express
themselves in public even in such overtly gentle ways, and that there
is something inherently upsetting about people who might think for
themselves and question established traditions.

Fifth, it is self-defeating. As a result of this censorship, more
people will end up both watching the footage, and being offended by
it. It will put the footage into new realms: that of the
easily-offended Christian person who revels in outrage, trying to find
out what all the fuss is about, and finding a way to be offended by
it, who would never normally watch the Jonathan Ross show; and the
realm of people like me, who might otherwise have missed it entirely.
You supposedly sought to avoid offence, but instead you have more than
doubled it. Now you have offended people like me who like Tim
Minchin, who like atheism and rational thought, and who value freedom
of speech very highly. This song, had it been broadcast, would have
scarcely caused a ripple. Now it will cause a wave. Where did I see
it? On the world wide web, of course.

Sixth, it is unprofessional. Tim Minchin is a star with a loyal and
avid following. The Jonathan Ross show is a major outlet for such
stars, particularly those that are a bit ‘edgy’. If you commission a
song from such a star, and then refuse to air it, you will lower the
chances that that star or others like him will in the future honour
the show by tailoring material for it. The show will more seldom air
unique material, and will be the lesser for it.

Seventh, it is cowardly. Fear seems to be behind this decision, but
fear of what, exactly? Of rampaging pitchfork-wielding Anglicans?
This seems unlikely. Of a law suit? From whom, and what would be the
case? Of Moslems? This song is about Jesus, and although he is
recognised as a prophet of God by Moslems, I know of no precedent of
Moslems’ getting violent or expensively litigious regarding very small
slights to Jesus. Indeed, to show fear of Moslems in this way is an
insult to the majority of Moslems who are law-abiding and moderate.
One of your greatest fears is presumably of low audience figures.
This decision will lower your audience figures certainly, because all
those who love Tim Minchin will stay away, and those who enjoy the
carefree rudery of the Jonathan Ross show will be disappointed. No
one will be tuning in to see what the fuss was about, because you will
have removed the thing that the fuss was supposedly about. On the
plus side, you will get people watching the show who would not
otherwise have done, because they had heard that the offensive Tim
Minchin was going to be on the show, and generally found the show to
be a bit edgy for them, but now that they have heard that Tim Minchin
has been censored, and that the show is very slightly less rude,
they’ve decided to give it a go. I doubt that there are many of this
last category.

Eighth, it is morally wrong. The freedom of speech is something worth
preserving for itself. As a major broadcaster, ITV has to play its
role. In the long run, there is moral hazard in enacting arbitrary
authoritarian censorship. All ideas, sensible and ridiculous, should
be held up in public to scrutiny.

There is yet time for you to reverse this decision. When you see that
you have done something wrong, it is a sign of wisdom to change your
mind. It is weakness to keep to the same path in order to save face.
It is also ineffective, because you will end up looking much more
ridiculous. Let Tim sing his silly song on Jonathan’s show.

Yours faithfully,

Nikolas Lloyd

P.S. If you do see sense and allow this benign song to be broadcast on
your channel, you might like to add a subtitle correcting the lyric in
the song which suggests that Schroedinger’s cat was in more than one
place at once, which is of course a perversion of physics theory,
which could corrupt the viewers’ grip on reality.

Victor on 22nd of December 2011

I love the song – hope you will include it in your future shows.

It always baffles me as to why the people who get all upset about making fun out of the J guy don’t seen to mind the huge corporate companies who take the piss out of his birthday (Christmas) by trying to sell you loads of crap at this time of year. Oh well, I suppose that’s bigotry?

As for the ITV – man up, you’re a huge TV company. Other large media organisations have gotten away with a lot more than a bit of light hearted ‘blasphemy’

Barbara Zimet on 22nd of December 2011

The following is what I wrote;

To whom it may concern;

It is amazing to me that in a country that is really not as interested in religion compared to say the United States, that you would actually cut Tim’s performance. Having had the pleasure of seeing this performance in question and being what I consider a rather intelligent human being, I don’t get it. There are other songs that Tim has written that had he performed I would understand could cause grief, not this one.

Considering he was asked to write a new piece, while he was touring and doing a load of other things, and it is also my understanding ran it by the lawyers to see if there were issues, and there were no legal issues, and showed up, did the performance and then you cut it. Wrong on more levels then can be counted in my opinion.

If it were maybe 20 years ago I would get it. I don’t in 2011, perhaps you will be kind enough to explain to me the reason behind this.

Although maybe I should thank you, for it not for all this controversy I would not know about this wonderful song and would have waited longer to hear it.

Thank you for your time and attention this issue.


Barbara Zimet

Siobhan on 22nd of December 2011

Happy Christmas to you too, Tim!

Thanks for writing a very funny, INoffensive, and really rathe ACCURATE Christmas song. It made me chuckle, and think about drawing a modern representation of Jesus, because now we have better metephors to show all the crazy stuff he did, not just you know … height and light and … lambs and lions and stuff. A modern portrait would be way more action packed than anything Rembrandt ever did.

Ali Handscomb on 22nd of December 2011

I have rung ITV and complained on their facebook page. They were ridiculously snotty and said the “content wasnt felt to be right for the show”. What a load of bollocks. I hope loads of people complain. I am an atheist and proud. Love you Tim.

Woodyallen,magic,jesus... on 22nd of December 2011

Great song from you – pathetic response from ITV. So glad you made it from that recording over to Hammersmith Apollo – thank you soooo much for duetting with Ed Sheeran (awesome suprise!) and the quite surreal finale of ‘white wine in the sun’ accompanied by Prof. Cox on keyboard – follow your D-Ream and ‘things can only get better’. (if you can think of that without the image of Tony Blair’s election campaign, that would be good!!)

Alconcalcia on 22nd of December 2011

As I just tweeted, with the news about Tim Minchin and the furore over Alan Hansen’s innocent slip up I worry that we have censored ourselves into a corner

Chris on 22nd of December 2011

So angry about the low-brained thinking of 21st century suits, but so so happy you’re doing what you are doing. And the song was in your own unique vein of genius musical comedy.
As for the second part, sad that in Christopher Hitchens we lost probably the greatest modern separater of the fact or logic from the (dangerous) speculative bullshit that spews from the church.

Adolph Taxman on 22nd of December 2011

Did you still get paid?

Dani Moore on 22nd of December 2011

I think this is a pleasant and catchy song, couldn’t shake the image of Woody Allen in a dress flying around the world; gave me the giggles!

I see no reason why this should be offensive, if someone didn’t like it they could have easily turned the tv off and let the rest of us enjoy the show! Tim you’re a genius! :)

Jules on 22nd of December 2011

Pah! Awesome as ever…..such a shame that people are still too scared of retribution to entertain the thought of a challenge!

Sheena Hatton on 22nd of December 2011

I don’t see the problem – it’s a clever, witty song. I do object to censorship like that. People should be allowed to make up their own minds, if you don’t want to hear it, turn it off.

I don’t entirely agree with your views on religion (no-one can possibly know either way) and Atheism has become as much of a crazy, fundamentalist religion as any (South Park portrayed this excellently). Hope and Faith are not ‘infantile’, ignorance and blind faith are. But, if I don’t like what you say I roll my eyes, skip through it and
find the next bit that I agree with and makes me laugh (in much the manner that I sit through the occasional church service!)

Stephen Glenn on 22nd of December 2011

I’m going to join the band of Christians on here who have already said that they have no problem with the song. Clearly it is song from yourself who doesn’t believe that Jesus is the son of God, nor indeed that there is some supreme being.

That being said however you did list a lot of the facts (even if you don’t think they are) about his life. As you said Jesus was a great entertainer and I reckon he’s have been on that sofa next to Tom Cruise laughing along with the rest of us. It is a pity that ITV are taking this position of not including it in Jonathan Ross’s show, you appearance was one element I was actually looking forward to so am glad to have seen it.

Hope you enjoy your white wine in the sun and have a happy Christmas with all your family.

Paul Smith on 22nd of December 2011

Made me laugh. I have shared on Facebook and asked others to do the same, only way to beat (IMHO) needless censorship is to flaunt what was (needlessly) censored.

Phil on 22nd of December 2011

Great song, and a rather unsurprising reaction from the powers that be. Keep up the fine work.

Lisa on 22nd of December 2011

I love that you have the guts to lay it all out like it is on the JR show. I wish they had the balls to play it. The more this happens, the more people will examine their ridiculous beliefs. As to your girl, I was a christian when mine were little, but even then, I felt a bit guilty. The first thing my kid asked me when we told her Santa was not real was “Is god fake, too?” Little did I know at the time, she, a six year old, was displaying more intelligence than I was. If I had to do it again, I think I would tell them the truth about Santa or Father Christmas as you guys call him. I think its important to children to be consistent. Loved the song, Tim. Oh and this kid was the first in my family to become atheist. A critical thinker might just be born, not made.

Amanda on 22nd of December 2011

This was great, but you could try not posting these things when I’m supposed to be working? I just spent the last hour watching Tim Minchin on YouTube. Lots of fun, but I’m so behind now!

Gary on 22nd of December 2011

Well I for one am hugely offended. “With great power comes great responsibility” is Spiderman not Superman!

*sigh* Honestly

Jesus stuff was great though.

Lou Mason on 22nd of December 2011

‘Dear Ms Mason

Thank you for your recent email regarding The Jonathan Ross Show.

I can confirm that your comments have been noted here at ITV Viewer Services.

We often make changes to programmes before transmission and on this occasion we felt that the song didn’t quite work editorially

May I take this opportunity to thank you for taking the time to contact us here at ITV Viewer Services .

If we can be of further assistance please do not hesitate to contact us.

Kind regards

ITV Viewer Services’

Dani Riot on 22nd of December 2011

The world is split into two distinct categories.

Category A: People who realise this life is all we have. So we have fun with it, enjoy ourselves and try to cram excitement and success into every waking moment of our short lives…

but then there is also:

Category B: People who believe that their life is a build up for something greater. So they waste their time waiting and filling it with crap because they still think they have forever in front of them.

Unfortunately Category B fill that time with thinking everything is a personal attack or insult and writing into the complaints departments of TV channels.

The reason such censorship exists is because us sane people know that when ‘Songs of Praise’ comes on… we can just turn over. We don’t waste our time writing into the BBC to say how they have offended us. Same goes for any other programme or subject about something we don’t believe in or feel is irrelevant to our lifestyles.

Dan on 22nd of December 2011

That’s a really good song – thanks for posting. And yah boo sucks to the Jonathan Ross show, because now it isn’t going to be as good. Why they get rid of their best content only they will know.

Lindsey on 22nd of December 2011

I’m a Christian and although I don’t agree with your worldview, songs like the one you have written are great for promoting dialogue and discussion! Incidentally, we have taken the same approach to Santa with our children – we enjoy the magic in a ‘not-real’ real way! Also posted below a thought-provoking video response…
Downhere’s ‘Real Jesus’

Michael Riley on 22nd of December 2011

Not entirely sure if you read these things Tim, but if you do, I can’t help but feel excited by the concept of letting you know personally that I am entertained, inspired and often uplifted by your work and annoyed by censorship of what you do.
That’s probably a bit silly really, since you have plenty of people to tell you that already, but for some reason I just wanted to let you know that.
Merry Christmas

David Turner on 22nd of December 2011

Tim, You are unique; a breath of fresh air for those of us who own brains and are bored to death by what passes for comedy in the media. You achieve that wonderful thing; the combination of wit and wisdom. You treat us as intelligent beings who bring adult, fully formed minds to listen to you. Please do not for a nano-second feel the need to change a thing when nonsense like this happens. My belief is that it will be the dog that dies.

Robert Webb on 22nd of December 2011

The song is wonderful and so are you.

Richard on 22nd of December 2011

While I don’t think your song should have been canned, I do find “The appropriate reaction to people who think Jesus is a supernatural being is mild embarrassment, sighing tolerance and patient education.” rather silly.

The appropriate reaction to someone who has a different religious view to you is to accept it. Religion isn’t a fact you can prove or disprove, it is a belief. Being “embarrassed” and wanting to “educate” people with a different view of creation is rather silly.

It is weird your song was canned as there are plenty of people poking fun at God and Jesus in a far more offensive way. In fact, as a Christian, I didn’t find your song offensive at all. Seems rather silly they won’t let you on the show.

Rich Johnston on 22nd of December 2011

I am a committed practising Christian. And I thought the song was funny, and even rather sweet.

I’m quite pleased that there could have been a song, any song, about Jesus on a national TV chat show.

If this had caused some debate, good. It’s Christmas, I quite like the idea that there could have been people talking about Jesus and what he means to them. Opportunity wasted.

J Dixon on 22nd of December 2011

See… I think its better to let them make up their own mind. What right have I to tell them what happens when you die? I don’t know, I’ve never experienced it.

I will let them know my views if they ask for them specifically, but why not give them a variety of others views and let them choose what makes them happiest? Otherwise, surely that’s similar to religious recruitment or the expectation of religious parents for their children to follow their religion blindly.

Questioning is not atheism. Surely agnosticostic thought stops you becoming so set in your ways that you close your ears?

Naomi Temple on 22nd of December 2011

I’m a Christian and I don’t think it’s offensive at all! Just great comedy!! Definitely should not have been cut from the show. Tim Minchin you are amazing!

Irene on 22nd of December 2011

First, I just want to say there was absolutely nothing grammatically wrong, racist, religiously slandering or mocking about your song. I loved it! But in light of the Jeremy Clarkson debacle, everyone is the broadcasting business is watching their asses. I guess ITV doesn’t need or should I say “can’t handle” 31,000 complaints. God forbid we have a little fun in this day and age!

You’re daughter is a thinker. And always questioning the reality. There’s nothing wrong in letting her think there’s a fat bloke that drives around in a sled with reindeer dropping gifts down the furnace flu. There used to be one, hundreds of years ago, not necessarily manning a sleigh of reindeer and elves, but some guy who handed out gifts to children and all that. As she gets older and experiences more Christmas’ she’ll get the ‘spirit’ idea. As long as she doesn’t think Father Christmas is hiding under her bed because someone said “he sees you when you’re sleeping”. That’s all she needs to hear and they’ll be no convincing her that it’s just a silly tune some masochist made up!

Chin up Tim! Screw the station. If they can’t take a joke…….

David C on 22nd of December 2011

Great song, and I think the New Statesman piece rings a lot of bells too.

I don’t know if this will interest Tim (or anyone else), but that thing about your daughter being fascinated by “Is it real?” is very wide-spread in museums, and I wrote a couple of blog posts about it here:

These blog posts feature a tiger fighting a python, if that helps sell it!

D Shipman on 22nd of December 2011

So he was offended on my behalf, Such arrogance has not been seen since “The Life of Brian”. So your in good company.

Suzy on 22nd of December 2011

Tim, great mini rant and I’m just as disappointed as you that you won’t be shown. Some people are muppets. Anyhow, all that effort wasn’t a waste – I’ve posted it on facebook for all my mates to enjoy! Keep up the good work. (Oh and perhaps you could sing an extra non PC version at Spank sometime?!) x

Ciaroni on 22nd of December 2011

First ever Complaint sent to ITV. proud of myself. You should be too Tim. Brilliant comedy and musicianship as always.

Merry Christmas

Tim Lebbon on 22nd of December 2011

Pity it’s too late to push this song as a Christmas Number One! Next year, perhaps?

Jordan on 22nd of December 2011

Suggest we get a Twitter campaign going.. suggested tweet to spread far and wide…
@wossy @itv What do we want? #woodyallenjesus When do we want it? ITV1 23-Dec #timminchin

lynda rann on 22nd of December 2011

complaint sent. needless to say i found the song amusing as usual, sorry to hear you have not been well and hope you recover soon. have a wonderful festive season with your family and a happy new year. look forward to you doing a tour of england again !!

Collette on 22nd of December 2011

Simply fantastic x

JulesK on 22nd of December 2011

Only thing you got wrong was using ‘hesitant’ as a rhyme. Was Jesus known for hesitancy?!

Anoop on 22nd of December 2011

If it was the BBC then we could understand them being arses and possibly being chicken sh^t because of @wossy’s past BUT for the bloody ITV to cut this song that sure as hell is #notrudefortv …FFS what is with some ppl today? its the bloody 21st century! Get a life or f-off pls lol

MattW on 22nd of December 2011

Reply from ITV…

Thank you for your recent email regarding The Jonathan Ross Show.

I can confirm that your comments have been noted here at ITV Viewer Services.

We often make changes to programmes before transmission and on this occasion we felt that the song didn’t quite work editorially

May I take this opportunity to thank you for taking the time to contact us here at ITV Viewer Services.

If we can be of further assistance please do not hesitate to contact us.

Kind regards

ITV Viewer Services

Rich on 22nd of December 2011

Should have done ‘the pope song’.

No re-write required. Same result.

Still, at least I have been able to watch your part without the irritating adverts (which somehow always seem louder than the actual show, like they are also second guessing that you’ve left the room to put on the kettle / relieve yourself).

So I thank you for that and usual seasons greeting guff, etc to all and sundry. even the god botherers (as long as they do it in the privacy of their own home and don’t publicly display any notion of thier dirty little secret).

ps. As an aside, to anyone who lives within vicinity of london, don’t watch JR go out to watch Matilda, I can cast iron guaruntee you’ll be all the better for it. I was lucky enough to see it for it’s opening weekend. And it was a heart warming thing of beauty (something I could never describe any of JR’s guests as).

Mel Watts on 22nd of December 2011

Complaint sent. Thanks for posting the address!

Aran on 22nd of December 2011

“Father Christmas is real… in the imaginary world.”

I think you’re a bit hard on yourself about this – it’s not pure sophistry. It’s an interesting step in the direction of a discussion about the nature of reality, which is far from cut-and-dried. The imaginary exists because we imagine it – and a lot of things that we consider ‘real’ work in a surprisingly similar way, like the stock market, for example…:-)

Morwenna on 22nd of December 2011

I thought it was a brilliant song and my father who was a Methodist minister would have loved it. He’d have liked the comparison to Woody Allen. I can’t believe it was axed – is the Daily Mail running this country now?

humph on 22nd of December 2011

it’s all part and parcel of tv. deal with the rejection like you did with mr doust. and watching it im not sure the audience entirely “got” it. i thought it was funny but as i dont actually watch tv cant see the point in complaining. i’ve seen the best bit and will post on FB if it will let me.
any hoo merry christmas to one and all.

Shaun Reynolds on 22nd of December 2011


Many thanks for posting the video.

I probably wouldn’t have seen it had ITV not cut it, as I rarely watch their channel, as it is mostly utter crap. I’m guessing I’m not the only one either!


Mike on 22nd of December 2011

Got a reply to my email to ITV:

“Dear Mike

Thank you for your email regarding THE JONATHAN ROSS SHOW

We often make changes to programmes before transmission and on this occasion we felt that the song didn’t quite work editorially,

May I take this opportunity to thank you for taking the time to contact us here at ITV.

Kind regards

ITV Viewer Services”


Sophie Choudhury on 22nd of December 2011

Brilliant! Funny, witty and completely harmless. Glad I got a chance to hear it. Now I’ll share it with the rest of my family. Happy Christmas!

Tina Bailey on 22nd of December 2011

Jesus :-) save us from the conservative men in suits who try to dictate our way of thinking. I hate that they doctor our viewing. Where would we be without people who challenge middle of the road conceptions, say it like it is, and invite controversialism? Thanks Tim for continuing to challenge and excite with your performances. Are you Jesus? Don’t know. But the top man at ITV is clearly God!

Edyth Miles on 22nd of December 2011

Fabulous as ever, Tim. No point in watching Jonathan Ross now.

Shelley Harris on 22nd of December 2011

Bloody madness. Bloody, bloody madness, as if a little bit of the 1950s has got stuck in 2011.

By the way, Tim. I was in Australia for Christmas last year, away from my family. My Mom sent me a copy of White Wine in the Sun, and I cried like a baby.

Murphy on 22nd of December 2011

I agree it should be censored. It is a terrible and unforgivable insult to our Lord Jesus..

Only kidding…. Christian censorship, nothing a few lions wouldn’t sort out. Don’t forget kids, only three more sleeps until Timmas Day.

Santa Morrison on 22nd of December 2011

Dear Peter Fincham, yes Peter, directly at you, looking at YOU in the eyes, don’t flinch away…

It’s precisely because of decisions like this that ITV is such a woeful example of, ahem, “entertainment” in the 21st century. You are supposed to be something that people want to watch and hence attract sponsorship. Not let the sponsors dictate the artistic policy of your stations. This is why TV is on the decline, corporates wielding the artistic license.

Artistry is a sort of benign dictatorship; where the artist seeks to portray a universal truth through a lense of experience, emotion and whatever else to an audience – maybe even an unwilling, unwitting audience (ofttimes the best type of audience). You wear your heart on your sleeve, your pen in one hand and your balls (or ovaries – this is an equal opportunity rant) in the other and then you push your baby out into the world, blinking to be cut to shreds by a baying public. Sometimes the art stands up and fights back, if you’re good it wins.

In this modern day an age we now have a layer, a filter between us an artist. A middleman, a pimp or pusher if you will that doles out that artistry as it sees fit.
In the past there were only 1 or 2 big pushers whom we could go suckle on the electronic teat of. But that has now gone, long gone, and like a shambling 70s pimp you and your supply are an outmoded relic of the past Fincham.

A good editor is prepared to take risks, to go and dance out on the edge and risk a reaction, surely a reaction gets you more publicity, and that gets your advertisers more exposure. But I guess not at the risk of offending the Christian Right, (Christian wrong more like).

Lets face it, ITV has never been the natural home to intellectuals, we were never allowed to watch it when I was growing up; too working class (we were working class) and thus BBC1 was “our” choice, BBC2 being the home of the boffins and Open University.

ITV is clinging on to a faded glory where Eric and Ernie, Tommy Cooper and Jim Davidson (Really?? FFS) bestrode the Independent airwaves (“independent” – what an oxymoron) and could be cheeky un-pc chappies, with a hint of casual racism thrown in for good measure. I remember them well, and some of it is classic TV (not the Davidson stuff, BURN IT!). Like Ms. Haversham in her tattered wedding outfit with tales of love lost, you seek to inspire a new generation of entertainer with – X Factor, I’m a Celeb, and Coronation Street.

Really, that’s the best you got? The best we can do? Don’t think I am preffering the Beeb over you guys, no way, I took the “none of the above” option and have cancelled my TV License, thrown out my Freeview Box and got rid of any undue influence on my psyche.

So now I watch catch up on PS3, chat more with my family and have time to write extended rants about your lack of balls as a maker of TV, and not have to care that I won;t see this on the actually programme I was scheduled to see it on, because thanks to the modern world we now can see everything online within 2 nanoseconds of it occurring.

Thanks Tim, all the best and have a super Happy Xmas, or Festivus as we call it in our house.

And Like Santa; God is also a fictional being, just has less credibility. Toodles.

Ann on 22nd of December 2011

U nailed it ….. well, as much as any of us can nail jelly:-)

Jess Cook on 22nd of December 2011

Being a musician/snger/songwriter and a fully commited Christian I have to say I loved it Tim! Very cleverly done, I don’t think you belittle anything that I believe Jesus did, you don’t disrespect him and you point out some of the cool stuff he was documented as doing…good on you, just a shame we won’t get to see it on TV. God bless ;-)

scott capurro on 22nd of December 2011

Great song Tim, such a shame it won’t be on the show. How tall is tom cruise? Have a lovely holiday. X

Jane Sedgwick on 22nd of December 2011

Brilliant song, loved it. Just keep on doing what you do best. Happy Christmas to you and your family

Mark Penistone on 22nd of December 2011

I love it!!
And now that I have sen your contribution to the program, I no longer need to watch it.
Have a FANTASTIC Christmas drinking white wine in the sun and I will definately be coming to see you on your next UK tour.

Jane Sedgwick on 22nd of December 2011

Brilliant song, as ever. Just keep on doing what you do best. We love you. Happy Christmas to you and your family

PaddyB on 22nd of December 2011

Can’t remember the last programme i remotely enjoyed on shITeV anyway. Don’t do anything for that bag of crap channel again Tim, you’re too talented for them. I’m sure they’ll be just fine with endless programmes about Katy Price and the like for the rest of time.

maria on 22nd of December 2011

well done Tim, to get cut from the Jonathan Ross show must mean that you are really offensive, or, the people at ITV once again are pandaring to the sad little people who have nothing better to do than to find things to complain about, So much for freedom of speech and the right to express yourself, Sod ’em all. mind you im a intelligent, rational thinking, hormonal tranny so my views dont count on ITV either, lol. Keep up the good work :)

Tilly on 22nd of December 2011

Never sent a ranty email before, was quite therapeutic to shout at the faceless corporation that is ITV! (In case people haven’t read all the posts, the email address to complain to is [email protected])

My favourite thought is that one of the reasons that ITV was created to provide a more objective viewpoint of reality, so that the BBC wasn’t the sole provider of our knowledge and opinions, and in doing this they have basically done a BBC maneouvre.

Have a good Christmas safe in the knowledge that they were wrong Mr. Tim!

Lee on 22nd of December 2011

Someone ought to tell poor Aunty ABC as they’re still promoting you as being on the show (being aired here on xmas eve).

No desire to watch now that Tim won’t be balancing out the Mind Head member.

Thanks for posting the clip though!

Leonie Smith on 22nd of December 2011

It’s a little like the Bill Hicks / David Letterman thing back in ’93. (You’re not gonna die soon, are you? Please don’t. A lot of people would be very upset. Especially my friend Becky who is a huge fan.) Glad to see you have the footage; maybe in 15 or so years, Fincham will see the error of his ways and allow it to be aired on ITV. I doubt it though. He’s not likely to grow a pair, in the meantime.

Farrah on 22nd of December 2011

My simple thought:
Comedy makes it possible to laugh at everything, that’s the point of it. If we didn’t laugh when shit-hit-the-fan or shit got to serious we’d all be suffering from depression and stress.
An example:
When my mother got breast cancer and successfully went through surgery and reconstruction etc and came out at the other end she said to me, “You have to admit, it’s pretty cool that you can say your 50 year old Mother has had a boob job and a tattoo.”
It’s good to laugh.

Jane Sedgwick on 22nd of December 2011

The song is as brilliant as usual. Keep doing what you do best in spite of this stupid man. Happy Christmas to you and your family.

Jim on 22nd of December 2011

I’m guessing that [email protected] is a reasonable bet for anybody wanting to make their feelings known to Mr No-balls.

I haven’t had an “undeliverable” message anyway…

Lou Mason on 22nd of December 2011

Here you are people:
[email protected]
My complaint has already been sent off!

Eve on 22nd of December 2011

I am highly offended! As a bit of comic book nerd, I know that the quotation you attributed to Superman was really spoken in a Spiderman comic. Have you no shame, using superheroes for you comedy with such a cavalier attitude so as not to even quote their text correctly? One day you may need rescuing from an evil mastermind by Spiderman, and then you might rue your casual misuse of graphic novel heroes. The rest of the song was fine. ;)

Littlepurplegoth on 22nd of December 2011

I suspect that your song isn’t the actual problem, but that ITV are running scared that there will be a repeat of any controversy around JR… But this time on their watch, costing them time, money and their advertisers likewise… It’s an OK song though :-)

Esme Lee on 22nd of December 2011

Hey Tim, I loved it! Not offensive in any way to, I suspect the majority of mature, sensible and reasonable people with a sense of humor. Sad that there are small minded, cowardly and closed minded individuals who are directors of television.

Of course I am biased, being a massive fan of yours but I am sure that certain individuals actions, a larger audience will now be deprived of a really good laugh.

Keep doing what you’re doing xxxx

Shmeedith on 22nd of December 2011

well, we all think it was brilliant as per ususal and i reckon what wassishisface on ITV was really scared about is that everyone would actually find it more interesting than tom cruise.
i know i do

please do something else soon!!! my heritage orchestra dvd has stopped working already cos i’ve seen it so many times!!!


Happy Winterval Everyone – Irishperson in Exile on 22nd of December 2011

[…] what turned out to be a very gentle ribbing was pulled from tomorrow’s Jonathon Ross show.  Looks like Peter Fincham is afraid to lose another job. […]

Jayne on 22nd of December 2011

Not only is it harmless, it’s hilarious! Oh Tim. What a load of poo.

Tim Minchin “fucking disappointed” as Xmas song is censored | MediaWatchWatch on 22nd of December 2011

[…] states He did this because he’s scared of the ranty, shit-stirring, right-wing press, and of the small […]

shockingblu on 22nd of December 2011

Tim, there could be worse ways to break the news about Santa to your daughter…

Steven Thomsen-Jones on 22nd of December 2011

This is why I’ve not watch JR since he had to move to ITV. I think the BBC would have had more balls, not that it really needs any, harmless entertainment! Still at least now we can turn it into a viral hit on YouTube! :D

Callum on 22nd of December 2011

Sent you a message on your youtube account

Ada B on 22nd of December 2011

I have just sent the following to [email protected]:

Complaint Regarding Your Director of Television Pulling Tim Minchin Off (the Jonathan Ross Show).

I have been eagerly anticipating this years Jonathan Ross Show after reading a very positive article regarding it’s contents in this years Bumper Radio Times.

Most 30 something women are probably gearing up to drool over Tom Cruise. I can take or leave the friendly face of Scientology and was looking forward to the performance by Tim Minchin of a song especially written for the show.

Sadly I have just read online that your Director of Television has pulled Tim Minchin off. Shame on him. I find it offensive that you feel you can second guess what I want to see or what I may find offensive. Please reconsider your position. It is a massive smack in the teeth to ask an Athiest talent like Mr Minchin to write and perform a song for your show, only for you to bin it for being a bit, arm, Athiest. If this is some cynical attempt to get viewer numbers up with a “all publicity’s good publicity” stunt then think again, because we’ve all just watched the Tim Minchin bit on Youtube, freeing us up to watch other programs while JR is on.

Here’s a new angle you may not have considered: Christians are like pigs in cack at this time of year. It’s all God, this, God, that, Carols, masses, church, nativity, charity, Jesus, Virgin births, frankincense and myrrh. Maybe ITVs Director of Television could spare a thought for the non Christians who have to be force fed Christianity for 1/12th of the year and throw us a bone; preferably one named Tim Minchin.

Ben on 22nd of December 2011

Its Funny, ABC are still advertising you on the rollup for the show.

Luke on 22nd of December 2011

Hey tim maybe the song wasn’t cut because it has potential for being offensive… maybe they cut it because it’s terrible musicly and not funny at all?

Oli on 22nd of December 2011

That is a shame but its their show, if they want to do self censorship, they can :( Maybe you can turn it into the most watched clip on YouTube over the winter solstice holidays?

Alexandra on 22nd of December 2011

I too have no memory of believing in Santa Clause (although I have a pretty good memory of the telling off I got for telling my Yr 1 best friend he didn’t exist and a vague one of confronting Mum with “he’s not real is he) I suspect that most little kids don’t believe and simply play along for Mum and Dad’s sake. In a slightly patronising way. (Bless) Last year Santa was terrifying for Miss (just) Two.. This year she spotted him in a shopping centre and confided that “I think he’s just (pre)tending.” I think getting the doll house she’s after will convince her for a couple more years . . . But she’s going to catch on pretty soon.

Lou Mason on 22nd of December 2011

I too have no reason to watch Jonathan Ross tomorrow night. I’m not a fan of any of the other people he will be interviewing, and quite frankly, will be avoiding it deliberately, in support of you and your song! Idiots!

Dootsy on 22nd of December 2011

You can email [email protected] – I’m sure we can muster up more complaints about this than they got at BBC for Robbie Savage thrusting in his dances…

This is pathetic, and typifies the over-PC attitude of this country.

Markus on 22nd of December 2011

Well, that’s utter balls. Speaking as a god-botherer, I wasn’t remotely offended and found it good fun. Chin up Timothy.

Mike on 22nd of December 2011

my email sent just now to [email protected]:

As a big fan of Tim Minchin I was very disappointed to read from his blog (at http://www.timminchin.com/2011/12/22/im-not-on-the-jonathan-ross-show/) that Peter Fincham had decided to cut Tim’s song from the Jonathan Ross show.

Having now watched the song I can only imagine that this was cut because of what is quite frankly a craven fear of the reaction of Christian religious extremists. The song is hardly offensive to anybody else, even to (moderate) Christians – and even if it were offensive to a broader category this can hardly justify removing it from a show known for its edgy humour.

Please could you let me know whether the piece will be broadcast, in a similar timeslot, on ITV1 at some point in the future?

BaldySlaphead on 22nd of December 2011

Dear ITV,

I was not offended by the fact that you cut Tim Minchin’s fabulous song from The Jonathan Ross Show as I rarely watch your channel. I still think you’re a bit pathetic and should grow some balls though.

Lots of love,


Phillip Bayliss on 22nd of December 2011

So in the early 90’s Bill Hick’s was censored on the David Letterman show. Jonathan Ross’s show is the UK version of those Letterman type shows. They do say what happens over there will happen here over time! Now Ross is on ITV he has advertisers to worry about and since his BBC faux pas he is working with his bollocks cut off so poor Jonathan has become an even more corporate whore. So now is the time for Jonathan to give up his millions of pounds contract and to resign over a matter of censorship because he sees himself as a champion of comedy: he even hosts the Comedy Awards so he must be a supporter. Reckon it will happen?
What really annoys me is that Peter Fincham thinks he knows better than me. He thinks I will be offended. Well who made him the Great Decider? Peter I have watched Tim’s song. It is clever, musical, funny, thought provoking and enjoyable. Everything entertainment should be and because I have half a brain I was not offended. Christianity has lasted 2000 years. I am sure a 5 minute won’t bring down the church… oh sorry I forgot it may lose you some advertisers so put Tim in jail for not being corporate enough!

Rob on 22nd of December 2011

It was funny, inoffensive, and if Jesus (Woody Allen or otherwise) was there he’d be laughing his crown of thorns off at it. Keep up the good work as in my view comedy has done more good for the world than all religions put together.

James Chapman on 22nd of December 2011

I am so glad I have ITV to decide which ideas I should be allowed to entertain, protecting my delicate mind from exposure to any that might upset my sensibilities.

Perhaps the pope song would have gone down better.

Siobhan on 22nd of December 2011

I would love to have this to download but i’m not tech savy any chacne of it being available to download?

Julie Allen on 22nd of December 2011

There is nothing offensive about this song, people need to get a sense of humour. I rarely watch ITV or J Ross and this confirms my view that neither are worth watching.

Amy on 22nd of December 2011

Sent a complaint to ITV. This is utterly ridiculous. Love your work Tim, keep it up!

Sam on 22nd of December 2011

Hi Tim,

I know you are probably very busy and get a lot of messages so I’m not expecting a response but felt that I should write to you.

I am a trainee priest in the Church of England and I thought your song was very good, I laughed, a lot. I don’t find it offensive and I think it is good to have what we believe (or don’t believe) to be challenged. Your challenge was very gentle to say the least.

Thank you for writing it, performing it and posting it so we get to see it.

Have a wonderful Christmas.


Leon "Minchin" V on 22nd of December 2011

Why dont they look it up, Satire is essential! tim writes good and proper, never offends excepts of those who desserve to be easily offended!

Rebecca Gunn on 22nd of December 2011

I’m Christian and regardless of differing views (of which I respect). I found the song funny and it didn’t offend me in the slightest. Considering we live in an age where prime-time TV has no qualms taking a pop at most beliefs, I don’t really know why ITV’s controller freaked out at this particular thing.

I am sorry you got cut though, it’s hardly the most offensive thing (after all Christians will compare/fit Jesus into practically everything themselves anyway!) so it could be taken in a sort of positive manner anyway. Extreme right wing thinking ruins the fun for everyone : (

(also surely it would of been Super Woody Allen *Spiderman* Jesus?)

justin james on 22nd of December 2011

it’s no worse than Monty Pythons “The Life Of Brian”…

oh hang on…. didn’t that get banned …

umm….well its funny and whoever takes it seriously are “just silly”

Alwin on 22nd of December 2011

Thank you for posting your W.A. Jesus-song. I liked it very much!

Scott on 22nd of December 2011

They don’t deserve you
Happy Christmas :)

Anna N on 22nd of December 2011

Talk about stupid! Why on earth anyone would find that offensive is beyond me. My mother is a vicar, she found it very amusing, as did I, a regular church goer. All I can say Tim, is that you have a wonderful mind and a great sense of humour and sadly there are still a few idiots out there that do not appreciate your forward thinking and they clearly do not understand your intelligent wit.

Jon Cook on 22nd of December 2011

Wow, that’s lame of ITV to cut that. Was a great comedy/topical song :o)

PiotrCh on 22nd of December 2011

I made polish translation of the lyrics:

Jezus był żydowskim filozofem,
miał wiele wspaniałych idei,
o naszych egzystencjalnych obawach,
bardzo podziwiany przez innych,
niski, żyd i “politykujący”
często niepewny i analityczny

Chwała Jezusowi
Chwała Woddyemu Allenowi Jezusowi
Woodyemu Allenowi Jezusowi

Jezus był świetnym magikiem
robiąc fajne sztuczki cały czas
zmieniając wodę w wino
burzową pogodę w ładną
nawet dzisiaj jego sztuczki były by fajne
był jak Derren Brown

Chwała Jezusowi
Chwała magicznemu Woodemu Allenowi Jezusowi
magicznemu Woodemu Allenowi Jezusowi

Jezus umarł, lecz wrócił do życia, tak mówi biblia,
zupełnie jak w Wysypie Żywych Trupów,
filmie Simona Pegga
Spróbuj tej sztuczki dzisiaj będziesz miał kłopoty
Geeki spróbują zabić cię łopatą

Chwała Jezusowi
Chwała magicznemu Woodemu Allenowi zombie Jezusowi
magicznemu Woodemu Allenowi zombie Jezusowi

Jezus został wniebowzięty, był niesamowitym kolesiem
żadko spotykasz kolesi którzy latają, znikają wprost do nieba
I tylko raz użył swej umiejętności, z wielką mocą wiąże się wielka odpowiedzialność

Chwała Jezusowi
Chwała magicznemu Woodemu Allenowi zombie Supermenowi Jezusowi

Matka urodziła Jezusa, bez uprawiania seksu z facetem
nigdy by nie była tak ordynarna, nawet nie była naga obok mężczyzny
Rozmnażanie bez drugiej płci znane jest powszechnie jako partogeneza
Inne zwierzęta nie potrzebujące mężczyzn to np. wiele jaszczurek i różne ślimaki

Chwała Jezusowi
Chwała magicznemu Woodemu Allenowi zombie Supermenowi Smokowi z Komodo Jezusowi

Jezus umie komunikować się ze zmarłymi, jak medium Sally
Jezus żyje wiecznie, co jest dziwne ale nie tak dziwne jak jego fetysz picia krwi.
Jezus jest w więcej niż jednym miejscu na raz, jak elektron lub Pole Schrodingera
Jezus pokazął cud chodzenia po wodzie, był przydatny jak samochód aktywisty
Jezus miał długie włosy i brodę, nie mówię że to ja.
Nie mówię, że jestem Jezusem. Nie mówię, że jestem Jezusem.
Jestem Jezusem!.

Chwała Jezusowi
Chwała Woddyemu Allenowi Jezusowi
Woodyemu Allenowi Jezusowi
Chwała magicznemu Woodemu Allenowi zombie Supermenowi Smokowi z Komodo Telepatycznemu Wampirowi Kwantowemu Poduszkowcowi MI Jezusowi

The Christmas song cut by ITV to avoid offending Christians in the UK | SO IT GOES – John Fleming's blog on 22nd of December 2011

[…] Tim Minchin explains what happened in his blog HERE. […]

Jenny Jenny on 22nd of December 2011

Oh, and one more thing, my geeky shovel-bearing husband seems to thing that line is attributed to Spiderman , not Superman.

Rachel on 22nd of December 2011

Stupooidity. Some people don’t want people to be educated.

James on 22nd of December 2011

A friend of mine used to work in a call centre – the sort of place you call when you want to know why every channel north of channel 5 is ‘Temporarily Off Air’. For christmas (fuck off spell check, I am not capitalising christmas) that year all of the staff were encouraged to dress up. Being deeply cynical, Joff is usually given to such things and would under normal circumstances have issued the traditional one fingered salute to such an idea. However, this being a new job, Joff decided to ‘get into the spirit of the occasion’.

He arrived at work dressed as Jesus. (I did mention that my dear friend Joff is deeply cynical, did I not?)

During the course of his work day two individuals (I loathe to call them people) asked him:

“What does Jesus have to do with christmas?”

Joff no longer works in a call centre.

Sandra on 22nd of December 2011

I love your Father Christmas story. Being a heathen mother to a rather clever 2 1/2 year old, I asked myself the same questions. Is it sensible to lie to your child? Would it be to his detriment if he knew who all the gifts were really from? We have now opted for a mixed approach. There will still be biccies and milk for F.C. who is going to leave little bits and bobs for his stocking. All the other, bigger presents are already wrapped up and under the tree with tags to tell who sent them. After all, it is more important to me that the little monster has a working relationship with his family and godparents than with an imaginary supernatural being.
I adore your approach to keeping the Christmas spirit (and the miracle of imagination) alive without trying to make your kid believe in the existence of “the physics-defying fatty”.
PS: Love the song too and share all the other commenters’ indignation at cutting it from the show. It’s nothing but brilliant entertainment as usual and I’m glad you gave it to us via this channel. Merry Christmas to us and to you too!

PjA on 22nd of December 2011

JR is a cock, you’re better off not going on his show and getting the kudos of being edited out IMHO

Phil Cassidy on 22nd of December 2011

I don’t understand why in this country being ‘offended’ is an empowered state with rights and authority. This song has been outlawed by the fear that someone watching may experience an emotion which is no more valid than the entertainment it would bring others.

Jonathan on 22nd of December 2011

My daughter is 5. She likes fairies and Santa and all those sorts of things. If she asks I tell her what I believe and tell her she can believe whatever she likes. She has decided that I will not be going to fairy land because I don’t believe in fairies and is very concerned in case I lose any teeth, who will take them away? She is also worried that I will not get any presents so has gone out with mum and bought me some and is making me a card.

Tim thanks, your stuff is great. My family is all in London and we’re in Perth, so it’s white wine and sun for me. Have a great holiday.

Paul Oscroft on 22nd of December 2011

I have just sent this email to ITV…

“Dear Sir or Madam,

I was deeply disappointed to learn of ITV’s unnecessary and unwarranted censorship of Tim Minchin’s upcoming appearance on The Jonathan Ross Show. 

Having seen his performance of Woody  Allen Jesus I do not believe it could be considered offensive by any reasonable person, whatever their religious persuasion.

If editing his performance from the show was intended to prevent the causing of offence then this has failed, as I have been offended by the very act of censorship itself.

ITV’s clear inability to trust in the intelligence, maturity, forbearance and good-humour of the vast majority of the British viewing public is a sad indictment of our times. 


Paul Oscroft”

Jason Crawley on 22nd of December 2011

If it’s any consolation, Tim, whenever Peter Fincham has appeared on any media shows or has been quoted in news stories on media websites, he’s always given the impression that he’s a prick of the very highest order.

Interested on 22nd of December 2011

Incredibly funny and as usual thought provoking, no need for censorship at all. As adults we can choose to watch or choose to turn off. Having read your account I was amused and interested, whether one agrees with you or not you get people thinking. People are entitled not to like what you say but I don’t think ITV has the right to determine that for the UK we do have an off and on switch on the remote control,

Christine Campbell on 22nd of December 2011

email – [email protected]

I suggest that if you feel strongly enough to post a comment on here then you might also feel it’s worthwhile making your views known to those at ITV
I know I will.Takes the fucking piss.

Laura on 22nd of December 2011

I’m kinda glad it was cut. I feel like part of a secret club now I’ve watched that.

Daisy on 22nd of December 2011

Loved the song! Very funny and light hearted. Was looking forward to seeing you on the JR Show. Such a shame those people who aren’t already fans won’t get to see your work.

Have a lovely Christmas with the family.

D x

Jenny Jenny on 22nd of December 2011

Loved it, Tim. Secretly happy that it wasn’t American TV that did this. Although didn’t youz guys give us the gift of Ray Comfort and Robert Murdoch?

My 8 year old is questioning the reality of Santa…I just look at her and say, “Well, what do you think?”. She walks away unsatisfied. I would like her to come to her own conclusions. She has hatched a plan to compare my handwriting with his, so I imagine this is her last year believing. And that’s fine with me. Her older brother, who has been using his knowledge to blackmail us into getting gifts from Santa, will be disappointed . Happy Christmas, to all.

Helen Davies on 22nd of December 2011

Hey Tim, if ever you read this…Violet is an amazing kid…you should be most proud buddy x

Rosie on 22nd of December 2011

I’m a catholic and i LOVED that song literally thought it was hilarious just like all your songs!! I really can’t see how anyone even slightly intelligent would be able to find this offensive! you have to be able to laugh at yourself or whats the point!!! Don’t think i’ll bother watching Jonathan Ross now i was only looking forward to seeing you! :)

Ann-Marie on 22nd of December 2011

This is awesome. I can’t believe anyone with a sense of humour would find it at all offensive. Thank you for sharing it with us :)

Elfkin on 22nd of December 2011

This is crap – why so sensitive! I saw Tim at the Apollo doing this song, it’s rather amusing.

Chris on 22nd of December 2011

Dear whoever,

I am writing to express my disgust at your director’s pathetic and cowardly decision to remove Tim Minchin’s song from the Jonathan Ross Christmas show. Presumably this is to head off the possibility of complaints from Mail readers and the more frothing end of the “Christian” spectrum.

When are broadcasters going to have the guts to stand up to these morons? This kind of craven kowtowing to a spittle-flecked lunatic fringe gives them far more influence and prominence than they deserve. The vast majority of the country do not agree with them, and large numbers of us, myself included, are sick of constantly having our public life affected by people pandering to the intolerant attitudes of delusional fantasists.

Jonathan Ross deserves better, Tim Minchin deserves better, and your viewers deserve better. Please have the sense and decency to reinstate this to the show.


Mel Watts on 22nd of December 2011

What a pathetic decision to censor this song from the show. Unlike many untalented comedians and entertainers who get their laughs from slagging off others, this song is a witty reflection of how the Bible’s story of Jesus can compared to elements in modern culture. As I see it, it is in no way attacking of Jesus or belittling the Christian religion its simply satirical comparisons. What is more insulting is that an alternative perspective has to be censored but television producers are more than happy for traditional views and ideas of Christmas to be broadcast; hardly balanced viewing for a modern audience. Bearing in mind this was due to be broadcast at an appropriate hour, I think its disgusting that Tim should be penalised when he has worked to produce a witty, comical song which is very fitting with the style of comedy on Ross’ show.
Thank you for standing up for yourself Tim and sharing this with us, and I hope that is the last time you get subjected to such ridiculous censorship. If there is a method of making a formal complaint on this matter or a petition to sign on your behalf, please get in touch!

lisa on 22nd of December 2011

i cant actually believe that cut you for that song, its just a bit of a joke!
either way im glad you posted it up for us, because id be very disappointed to miss out on magicwoodyallenzombiesupermanjesus :D
keep it up jesus.. er i mean tim :’D

Naomi on 22nd of December 2011

Just watched it and as a Christian, I am not offended, I found it so bloody funny! I loved it and I hardly ever watch ITV anymore because its mostly dross, but I shall not be watching Jonathon Ross this year. Dumbing down is not for me!

Wayne on 22nd of December 2011

If I owned any of your records I would NOT burn them!

Jenny Draper on 22nd of December 2011

I do like to watch a bit of ‘Wossy’, especially when Tim is on because they always seem to have a bit of a laugh and just a fun time all round. People in this country are too worried about political correctness and not concerned enough about the amount of crap it all actually is! I for one won’t be watching any ‘Wossy’ this Christmas… think I might watch my Tim v’s The Heritage Orchestra blu-ray again instead :) Have a good Christmas Tim and drink plenty of white wine for me!!

Paula Valentine on 22nd of December 2011

I am a Christian and I love Tim’s sense of humour (I like comedy that also makes you think). This son g is great and I was not offended at all. When Jesus’ name is used as a swear word freely on TV these days and allowed by the censors – how can they justify not allowing this song. Brilliant as always Tim!
PS – saw you in Toronto last summer – please come back soon.

Jamie on 22nd of December 2011

Hi Tim,

I saw you in Manchester station about a month ago, i didn’t say hello, as, well i don’t know you, and you seemed busy. But i wanted to say that i love your intellectual comedy songs and this is no exception, this is a great piece of work and it is terrible that ITV have pulled it from the show, the show is much worse off because of it. please keep happy, keep well and keep making music like this.

Tom Fallowfield on 22nd of December 2011

For shame. What century is this.

Dave on 22nd of December 2011

ITV is shit. But congratulations on rhyming parthenogenesis!

Lois on 22nd of December 2011

What ridiculousness. This is 2011 not the 1950’s, get a grip ITV.

Isaac Halsall on 22nd of December 2011

Why book you if they think your style of comedy isn’t needed on the show. For years you’ve had “upfront” and “in your face” humor and faced applause instead of criticism, but suddenly a Christmas story is too much? You’ve by far said worse in other songs, and those were a great success when released.

lillie on 22nd of December 2011

we still love you. we still admire all your work. and when I have kids, maybe I’ll tell them that Tim Minchin will come down the chimney and bring their presents :D

Maggie Ragaisis on 22nd of December 2011

This was wonderful! Happy Solstice!

Basher on 22nd of December 2011

ill tell you whats offensive…

catholic priests fiddling little children for years and being protected by the church.

Pip on 22nd of December 2011

Jonathan introduced the song by saying, quite clearly, “an alternative view of Christmas, his own view…” – that should have been enough to absolve ITV from any flak that might have come their way from the inevitable Daily Wail-waving hordes.

I despair at the state of our nation.

Lisa on 22nd of December 2011

I’d also like to say a few words to Mr Fincham … !!!! What an Arsehole !!!
I was only going to watch JR because you were on…!!!
Love the song Tim, two fingers to them I say !!!

nicky and michael on 22nd of December 2011

This would have been the only reason why I would have watched Jonathan Ross, Tim has millions of fans all over the world, I say we boycott the show and then see how ITV feel! It is not offensive and should be seen as humour in light of what it was intended or have we forgotten how to be funny in this world. I say we do a rage against the machine and get this song to number one! whose with us….

Joey-sarah on 22nd of December 2011

I was only gunna watch Jonathan Ross to watch you as I think you awsome this id a discrass that ITV have cut you form it Gutted isn’t the word.

Liza on 22nd of December 2011

I love it. And I’m glad you got the footage for us all to see. Praise be to Jesus for the Internets. :) xx

Alyson Blanchard on 22nd of December 2011

Did you see the look on Tom Cruise’s face??? I wonder whether he realised that in comparison, Scientology seemed even more bat-shit crazy. Tim, you are brave and brilliant.

David Sloan on 22nd of December 2011

I am an ex seminary trained catholic priest, and I have to say these idiots cutting you from the show are ridiculous. I love your swipes at us believers and you provoke challenges and thoughts on our beliefs. Billy Connolly was once criticised for his rendition of the crucifixtion, Monty Python for Life Of Brian, but never by true believers.
In my humble opinion, your still the freshest, funniest, thought provoking comedian for a very long time. Dont change a thing!!!

EJ on 22nd of December 2011

I thought it was brilliant! And I am glad you shared with us. I’ve been spending way too much time yesterday and again this morning listening to you on youtube……I’m supposed to be working.

Peter Fincham is a Douschebag on 22nd of December 2011

Someone, please tell me how this is offensive in the slightest? I’ve seen religious ceremonies less offensive to people’s beliefs that this!

Michelle on 22nd of December 2011

I’m actually really upset … And I know it’s only a song and I know it’s ‘only comedy’ but I’m so sick of caring about religious groups taking offence … If u had sang ‘oh holy fucking night’ no one would have taken that out. It u had written a song slagging off old Kimmy that would have been fine. Its twitters reaction to Hitchins all over again … We can listen to people crap on about the wonders of god … But ya say anything bad and uhhhhhh … I’m really mad!!!! Can we complain to anyone?

jenny silkstone on 22nd of December 2011

Ross is still recovering from his faux-pas so they are all ultrasensitive….

But they have done you a favour, all publicity is good publicity, so your view point will get an extra airing and that can’t be bad can it?

Embrace the negative,


kimm summerlin on 22nd of December 2011

Brilliant writing/music etc – love it!!!! Agree totally with your comments – keep up the good work!

Catie on 22nd of December 2011

Hmmmmm … that kind of censorship is more what I’d expect from an American talk show, not Jonathan Ross … wonder if Mr Cruise’s people in the Church were a bit twitchy about him being associated with the song …. just a thought.

Rich Charlesworth on 22nd of December 2011

Loved this song when it was being performed last wednesday at the Apollo. In no way deem it offensive or attempting to rile up anyone. It’s an alternate light-hearted view on Christmas, something you need when all the songs of praise and religious messages saturate the media.
You’ll always have the Daily Mail to complain about pretty much everything. Why do ITV not grow a pair?! Are they too scared that it’ll lose some precious advertising revenue? Are they worried that Wossy might bring another Sachgate on them?
The beeb and Channel 4 it is for xmas. Their not afraid to use their balls!

Alexandra on 22nd of December 2011

Happy Christmas Tim, and much health to you and yours thoughout the new year! The song’s fab, you obviously put a lot of effort into it, shame on them for cutting you from the show. Do come back to Montreal soon; you and your fabulous behind are sorely missed. ;)

[Watch] Tim Minchin’s ‘Woody Allen Jesus’ cut from JONATHAN ROSS | A FISTFUL OF CULTURE on 22nd of December 2011

[…] out of fear of conservative outrage). Luckily for us, Minchin has posted the performance on his blog, along with a description of what went down which you can read […]

David on 22nd of December 2011

Tim Minchin, you are a luminary in your own right. Great song, great blog
Happy Christmas

Aurora on 22nd of December 2011

What a ridiculous decision. I quite enjoyed the song. It’s clearly a bit of silliness.

I worry about the growing trend for the arts to be subtly eroded by the faint possibility that someone, somewhere, may be offended.

Peter Fincham made this decision. What a joyless life he must lead.

Mark HB on 22nd of December 2011

So they book a renowned atheist, satirical musician for a Christmas show, and then cut his song for being satirical and about Jesus.


The bit I find truly chilling is that you think they may issue a take-down notice on your copy on YouTube. As dim as the first action is, to then deny you the right to use your own material is pants-on-head drool-in-your-boot insane. I’ve sequestered a copy locally in case this particular bit of ravening idiocy does come about.

caroline on 22nd of December 2011

I can’t believe it – we are not in America – what is happening. After the announcement that if there is another riot they will use live bullets I have come to the conclusion that this in not my England :(

Jo on 22nd of December 2011

Totally true, my children are 12,10 and 7 and they all know that father christmas isn’t real and that hasn’t ruined our christmas, we all still have a great time. My daughter, aged 10, is like me a total non-believer and I am always defending her Right not to believe, this Is so wrong, she is totally undermined the usual being ” she’s only 10 how does she know what to believe” well actually yeah she is only 10 but actually she’s more switched on than a lot of adults! Hope you have a wonderful (non religous) christmas and new year. X x

Rob Wassell on 22nd of December 2011

Well said Tim.

I don’t understand the ‘wrap me up in cotton wool’ complainer-types and I get very disappointed with the over-reactive don’t-want-to-cause-a-stir-types that result in the rest of losing out on seeing you perform your great work.

My consolation is that a) you had a copy and have posted it on here, for which we thank you and b) that I was lucky enough to see you perform it live in Brighton at the last night of Uncaged Monkeys.

On an aside, but related issue, I was once babysitting for a friend and his 5 or 6 year old child and I were watching Doctor Who together. Suddenly, on screen, appeared a horrifying monster and the child covered his eyes. I asked him what was doing and he said ‘I find it scary and I don’t want to look’. So, the next time one of these complainer-types comes across something that offends them, either don’t look, or don’t listen and don’t spoil it for the rest of us.

Keep up the good work Tim and have a very merry Christmas.

Lolly Jones on 22nd of December 2011

Go Tim! Awesome song. The right wing press is for dicks.

Mark T on 22nd of December 2011

Tim, You are an extremely talented musician and wordsmith. Your song should not offend anyone. Too much bumbing down everywhere these days I say. Keep up the excellent work. All the best

Golden on 22nd of December 2011


I’m a Christian and I laughed my arse off at that! As a christian you HAVE to have a sense of humour or life would not be worth living!
I can see that some people would get offended, but only because there are also STUPID, over sensitive Christians. Those people would probably be just as offended by the presence of scientologist Tom Cruise (Who I also adore, even if he is a bit mad)

Seriously, what did they expect? Were you supposed to find God before your wrote it? Morons

Hayley Webb on 22nd of December 2011

Bravo Tim bravo! Yet another fantastic bit of entertainment for all of us normal folk who like a laugh and are not uptight a**eholes! Just a shame Fincham doesn’t have a personality or a sense of humour! Good god… soon we will not be allowed an opinion! Idiots! Keep up the good work Tim! He’s a douche bag!

Sam S on 22nd of December 2011

I can’t believe ITV cut this… Idiots. It’s not political or anything, it’s comedy. If people want to take it stuff seriously then they’re watching the wrong show. Jonathan Ross’s show!

Also, ‘Santa is real in the imaginary world’ is a purely fantastic way of putting it. Thank you for sharing the story with us.

Paul Parsons on 22nd of December 2011

This is hypocritical in the extreme…why did ITV hire Jonathan Ross in the first place, if they didn’t want their programming edgy, risque and soaked in double-entendre? What can possibly offend in this song more than the normal Wossy patter? This is the year that the Beeb gave us “Holy Flying Circus” to laugh at the prudish responses to the “Life of Brian” some 30-odd years ago. I’m not laughing now….why on earth (let alone in heaven’s name) is this happening today? Thank God…or should that be Tim?….for subversive YouTube!

Anthony Voutas on 22nd of December 2011

Keep up the good work. The better you get, the less ignorant everybody else gets, and that’s worth something beyond being on one episode of a TV show.

Also, I liked your comment on Santa Claus, although I would say Santa is the embodiment of the idea of Christmas, and that’s the sense in which he’s “real”.

All the best in the future, and have a Merry Christmas. :)

jaize on 22nd of December 2011

Shame about the whole being cut thing, that really sucks the mighty ice pole. I feel bad for you Tim.
Very interested in your piece for the New Statesman and thought this would cheer you up a smidgen. Look out for the quote by Father Ray Blake…


katy on 22nd of December 2011

Ahhh I am annoyed they cut you out the show. How stupid of them. Grr. I still love you and your stuff :D

Craftilicious on 22nd of December 2011

At least I don’t have to watch the show now just to see your bit :-D

Becky on 22nd of December 2011

Like everyone else on here I loved the song :) What I don’t understand is that the BBC who are known for their censoring of everything are fine with Tim pretending he’s not saying vagina and foreskin when he blatantly is (speaking of which I loved that song too) but the ITV won’t let him make a lighthearted comparison between Jesus and pop-culture. I thought the song was great and not in the slightest bit offensive. He wasn’t even taking the mick out of Jesus, if anything he was highlighting his best bits.
And as an aside, I think Tim Minchin might be Jesus ;)

Rev. Dr. Jo Freddie on 22nd of December 2011

Copied and mirrored

james hunt on 22nd of December 2011

there is something seriously wrong in this world…

people can complain to ofcom if they get “offended” by tv shows, who can we complain to about Pete Fincham…

the guy clearly needs to grow a pair

marie on 22nd of December 2011

That’s a real shame. I really loved that song when I heard it at Brighton’s uncaged monkeys… very clever + friggin’ hilarious. Stupid over censorship.

Mark on 22nd of December 2011

One step closer to ITV turning into Fox… grow some balls ITV!

Intelligent, witty, brilliant song by Tim as ususal!

Christina on 22nd of December 2011

This is not offence at all Tim never fails to be funny he is a legend. Tim is god.

Chloe on 22nd of December 2011

Love this song and find it ridiculous ITV didn’t show it.
I’m a Christian and yet I love you’re work because it’s witty and unique.
If people actually get offended by this kind of stuff they should stick to watching Songs of Praise and not deprive others of harmless entertainment.

Wendy on 22nd of December 2011

I don’t get it. They invite Tim Minchin to write and perform a song on the show – what did they expect to get? Silent Night? For what it’s worth, I really liked it.

Offended person on 22nd of December 2011

I have just emailed ITV…..

Subject: Complaint to Peter “Won’t somebody think of the children!!!” Fincham

Cut Tim Minchin?

I’m deeply offended that you think you can make up my mind about what I should and shouldn’t be offended about!
Offended at your manner
Offended at your lack of spine
Offended that you think that everybody who watches Wossy must be a right-wing Christian fundamentalist.
Offended that this probably has more to do money / sponsorship / revenue than it ever did with offending above mentioned Christian fundamentalists.
Offended that you believe that I am unable to use my own remote control to switch channels if I so desire.
Offended that you’re just some faceless suit that thinks he knows best.

Happy holidays.
PS – I don’t suppose that you are related to that Matt Fincham off of BBC Radio 1 are you? I like him.

Gemma Hanlon on 22nd of December 2011

Tims not Jesus, he’s God.
There bastards for cutting it, it’s hilarious!
You never fail to be funny ;D

fallingonabruise on 22nd of December 2011

spineless arse ! Do God-botherers not have a sense of humour ?

Sophia on 22nd of December 2011

I’m pretty sure your/Tim’s bit is being left in when it airs in Australia. http://www.abc.net.au/tv/guide/abc1/201112/programs/ZX6595A009D2011-12-24T210718.htm?program=The%20Jonathan%20Ross%20Show
Everybody here loves you more than Jesus!

Natalie on 22nd of December 2011

Hey Tim,

On your Santa theme, you may enjoy Dale McGowan’s take:

Loved your Santa story. As for being Jesus, doesn’t that mean you’ll be back on telly in three days? Or something.

Nada on 22nd of December 2011

Tim – can’t understand why that was cut…loved it….broadcasters are getting ridiculously nervous.

Scott L Bleasdale on 22nd of December 2011

I didn’t know being sceptical, agnostic or an atheist prevented you from appreciating fiction. Right, that’s me off to throw out 70% of my books!

Stefan on 22nd of December 2011

It’s why we LOVE your work!

Happy BIrthday for Sunday.

Kevin Hardie on 22nd of December 2011

I cannot believe you have been cut – great song, funny and in line with the show you were on. Nice work though mate. I won’t be watching JR now, you were main reason.

Doug on 22nd of December 2011

Honestly what would they expect?
Great new work Tim and I would love to see it in the next Melbourne solo show as it’s clever, cliche and utterly brilliant!!!
Also love the bonus article, Vi’ll read it in the future and know her father was always trying to keep the magic alive (without encouraging the belief in magic).
Keep up the great work!

Kit on 22nd of December 2011

Has ITV emasculated Mr Woss? I remember he used to dance very close to the edge… Still, *we* got to hear the song!

Merry Christmas, Mr Minchin. Enjoy your white wine in the sun… If you haven’t seen it already, http://www.tamponcrafts.com/nativity.html.html may make you laugh

Hayley on 22nd of December 2011

Am so glad I got to see you sing this live in Brighton. Thanks for putting it up for all to enjoy (and being a tech-geek I now have my own copy x). Guess I’ll be watching 8 out of 10 cats now instead.

Emma Pearson-Kendall on 22nd of December 2011

self righteous lunacy born out of fear and a misplaced belief that anything to do with religion is sacrosanct. Having recently offended a room full of catholics by telling them not to stress about getting to mass as God was supposedly omnipresent and to just have mulled wine and toast in place of the bread and wine as surely he would appreciate festive irony and if he didn’t then not to worry as he is all forgiving too, so they say – it seems that any mere challenge is met simply with enforced silence or in my case a request to leave. I never even got the chance to ask whether they agreed that transubstantiation was indeed just cannablism. To hell with the ITV and to hell with Catholicism – if only hell existed

Barry Howes on 22nd of December 2011

What a shame this song was edited out, are people not allowed to communcate their thoughts anymore???? I could understand it if you (Tim) had written a song entitled ‘God, Jesus and the Bible are a steaming pile of horseshit’ , but comparison to a ficticious character using modern day similies should not be censored.

Claire Williams on 22nd of December 2011

Why are people shocked this happened when Ross goes to ITV? ITV is for fascists and dullards, I thought everyone knew that?

Cheryl on 22nd of December 2011

Don’t let the gutless bland folk of this world grind you down Tim, just be your usual genius self. Another fab, funny and clever song which no-one should take offense at and even if they did so what!!!

Kit on 22nd of December 2011

Has ITV emasculated Mr Woss? I remember he used to dance very close to the edge… Still, *we* got to hear the song!

Merry Christmas, Mr Minchin. Enjoy your white wine in the sun…

Matt on 22nd of December 2011

What about writing a song about Pete Tim? ;)

Robert Steven on 22nd of December 2011

Dear ITV,

I am writing to express my disgust at the removal of Tim Minchin from the upcoming Jonathan Ross show. I have listened to the song and I cannot fathom how this could be interpreted as offensive in any way.

I am utterly sick of the PC brigade trying to dumb down the media in some misguided attempt to avoid offending people – it’s pathetic. Peter Fincham should be ashamed of himself.

What is the worst thing that could happen in the event that this song did offend some christians? They would have to forgive you, it’s what they do.

I will, therefore, not be watching Jonathan Ross this Christmas.

A very disappointed Robert Steven

Mel on 22nd of December 2011

If I ever spontaneously combust, I hope it’s around Peter Dickham and that he’s wearing his favorite outfit.

Mikey on 22nd of December 2011

I’ve always admired your work. I don’t think this is among your best songs but it’s by no means awful. It’s also by no means offensive.

If any Christians WERE to be offended, they could always turn the other cheek couldn’t they? That’s what Jesus would do.

Zee on 22nd of December 2011

So, they invited Tim Minchin to write a Christmas song and perform it on Jonathan Ross’ show. Did they *actually* expect sugarplums and fecking rainbows?!
Hubby and I have watched the clip and found it hilarious, not in the least offensive. Quite brilliant in fact.
Political correctness has gone mad, AGAIN.

The Secret Ginger on 22nd of December 2011

Do I sense another Phil Daoust esq song coming on? Maybe even with guest appearance from Mr Ross himself (maybe you could get Jane to put forward a case for it ;D)… lets face it Fincham would have it coming the obvious gingerphobe

Dawn on 22nd of December 2011

I thought the Jonathan Ross show had a bit more spine than that! It’s a bit sad worrying that something that isn’t offensive might offend – what a small box that man lives in! I thought it was funny and entertaining! Keep up the good work and don’t let the bastards get you down!! Merry Christmas!!!

MJ on 22nd of December 2011

I cannot believe that it didn’t make the grade! A song comparing the attributes of Jesus to modern day sensibilities without swears or judgements is potentially offensive?

Lucky you didn’t sing a song about a dodgy old man in on odd outfit who looks at children sleep and keeps notes on their behaviour so he has the best idea of who he should offer gifts to.

Which is more offensive? A song celebrating the positive attributes about the guys whos birthday we are celebrating? Or a song about an old man with paedophilic tenancies who has high jacked the festive season to ensure that maintains his “jolliness”?

I understand people not liking your views Tim – I won’t be playing The Pope Song to my Mum for example – but this song could be sung by a Gospel rock group.

Tom on 22nd of December 2011

This is total bull, fuck Peter Dickham/all the idiots that would be offended by this and praise be to Tim Minchin, I <3 Tim :)

Joanne on 22nd of December 2011

This is such a horrible shame. It reminds me of Bill Hicks being pulled after recording a slot on the David Letterman show, but at least letterman apologized years later to the late Bills mum and his veiwers and finaly showed the footage. All you have to do Tim is get your Mum to go in Johnathan Ross they can talk about your life and deat…… oh wait , maybe that’s not the best idea. :P. Regardless, loved the song keep up the great work xx

itchard on 22nd of December 2011

Nicely done Tim…… Both the song AND posting the video..
Keep it up !

Monica on 22nd of December 2011

That song should DEFINITELY have been on the show! What an idiot, that Fincham dude.

Loved the column too. :)

Ben on 22nd of December 2011

What a bum head! Still nice song Tim, glad I got to hear it despite ‘scared to offend’ nonsense and loved the article below. Don’t think I could ever get bored of you being opinionated!

teepee on 22nd of December 2011

This decision is obviously based on fear which is what the world seems to be full of …. everyone is entitled to their own oppinion and a nanny state which decids what we can or can’t view frankly rather racks me off! Well done , once again to the fabulous Tim for speaking his mind and making me laugh completely out loud!!

AlanG on 22nd of December 2011

Well at least we get to see it although very disappointed with ITV would have hoped they were a little more ballsy. Can’t imagine a huge number of Daily Mail reader types watch Jonathan Ross anyway unless it is just to complain.

Beth on 22nd of December 2011

I agree Pete Fincham is a complete Bell-End!!! whom also needs to grow a pair WoodyAllenJesus wasnt offensive at all it was funny as fuck :P

Tabitha Maser-Clarke on 22nd of December 2011

That’s so awful. I had screamed at my tele to know Tim was on, and set it to record. There’s no point now. Why would you book the lovely occaisonly-religious-ranting Tim, to be on your show, if your not prepared for the consequences. Why does television still need to be so controlled? People have different views, we should be free to express that. Who better than Tim? It’s so suprising and dissapointing. It’s 2011, you would expect more lenience. It’s a real shame, and completely ruined the Jonathon Ross show. It’s also a shame, considering how stressed Tim had been, to take time to write, and perform a song, for it to be cut. Bloody ridiculous. At least we still get to watch it. It’s great :D

And the article about Violet is so lovely. I think it good to not lie to her. Hahaha, love the last line. :D

Lewis Scott on 22nd of December 2011

They cut this?…THAT WAS BRILLIANT!!!! Peter Fincham is silly -.-…and in the words of a great man ‘lalalalalalala i hope one of your family members dies!!’

Jim on 22nd of December 2011

Was planning to record JR tomorrow, won’t bother now, for two reasons. Firstly, you were the main reason I was planning to watch; and secondly, on principle I’ll abstain because I can’t condone the wishy-washy actions of ITV who clearly think that religion should be granted exemption from criticism and mockery. It’s religion, FFS – it was invented to be laughed at!

What a pathetic and spineless decision. ITV sucks.

Dave Mccarthy on 22nd of December 2011

Well said sir, The fact that your song was censored is ridiculous as adults we can make up our own minds. We don’t need an officious idiot like Peter Dickhham to make it up for us.

Ragean on 22nd of December 2011

Love your tale about Violet and Santa. I believe all parents are a bit conflicted between being totally truthful and maintaining their child’s “innocence”. (At least they should be hesitant not to lie to their offspring.) I wish I had thought of your answer regarding Santa when my children were young. I will share your story with them now and know they will answer the question when presented by their own children in a like manner. Well done.

Tim on 22nd of December 2011

I’m quite a hard core Christian and I still think it’s hilarious! What’s not to like about a Woody Alan Jesus!? ITV are the same people that host the X factor… They clearly don’t know how to entertain the more ‘switched on’ people in this society.

Marc on 22nd of December 2011

Tim. Just watched the video. Been a fan since you were nominated for best newcomer at the Fringe. Even when you’re stressed, ill and overworked you still set new standards for comedy brilliance.

Alex on 22nd of December 2011

You’ve done it again sir!
Funny, clever and modest. Some people just do not have a sense of humour if this was cut.

Hans ter Horst on 22nd of December 2011

Just filed a complaint via [email protected]. If they are afraid of complaints for broadcasting Tim’s performance, let’s make sure they get a fair number of complaints for not broadcasting it!

Ni on 22nd of December 2011

Tim, i love you for this.
It’s a great piece of work, i always admire you how you can get the point in songs you have written for a specific purpose like a show on telly or whatever.
they might let you down but the majority of viewers wont! thumps up for putting it up on your website. oh and youtube. oh and facebook. oh and twitter. haha.
have a nice and happy christmas with your family!

(and guess what, this song will be much more popular this way as if you just appeared on jonathan ross…)

Kayla Agniss on 22nd of December 2011

So… they cut the show because it was offensive…
Were they expecting a christmas carol? XD
It’s stupid! Is like hire a zoophilic to take care of your dog and then get mad because he raped it! XD
If it helps a bit, I liked it =B

Jacqui Shanks on 22nd of December 2011

That’s my Tim! Love it , Love you!
Seeing you here in Melbourne 2012.

Martin Rothe on 22nd of December 2011

Another brilliant song and one which as a Christian I can’t imagine anybody really finding offensive. I don’t want TV which is censored into a bland gray inoffensive mush anyway.

Chris on 22nd of December 2011

Pete Fincham – what a bollockless bastard.

Munch on 22nd of December 2011

Thats fucking shit. It was the only reason I was planning on watching Jonathan Ross tomorrow night. Does anyone know how we send a complaint/email/letter/tweet/WHATEVER to Peter Dickham???